Dolphin Smooching and Other Cool Things

I’ve lived in Florida my entire life. I’m a native. I practically grew up in the Florida Keys, spending innumerable weekends down there at my grandparent’s house and later at my parent’s place. But even being that lucky…there is one thing I’ve never, ever done—swim with a dolphin.     Two weekends ago, I finally got to do both at […]

The Father’s Day Postmortem

Another Father’s Day has come and gone and while I like to give the father of my children a special day so he knows we all appreciate him, I kinda hate these types of holidays. You know…the ones where it’s implied at every turn that you must spend a bunch of money to show your love and appreciation. Because my […]

Filed Under: Blog, Family & Parenting, LOL
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An Amazing Trip to Seaworld, Busch Gardens & Discovery Cove

Last Thursday, I drove to Orlando, which is about an hour north of me. I knew while I was there I’d be going to Seaworld, Busch Gardens and Discovery Cove on a sponsored press junket but that’s all I really knew. Honestly, I figured we’d ride the rides, see the animals and do all the things you normally do on […]

Jedi Mom Trick

5 yr old: Mommeeeee? Will you wipe my butt? I can’t wipe it like you do Me: Why is that? 5 yr old: Because I might get poop on my hand Me: *stifled giggle* Dude. That’s what soap and water are for 5 yr old: *indignant* Noooo…that’s for when your hands are dirty Me: Um…I think having poop on your […]

Why Buy the Cow When You Can Get the Opinions for Free?

This is a paraphrased and slightly embellished version of a conversation I recently had with a phone survey person. ••• Phone Solicitor: Hi, I’m calling from Company XYZ. This is a survey. We’d like your opinions on (insert product, service or industry here) and it will take about 10-15 minutes. If you’re… Me: You want me to take a TEN […]

Filed Under: Blog, Jackassery
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Is It Just Me?

Now, I don’t know what this says about me that I see ANUS MILE instead of A NU SMILE but I can tell you this much—I don’t have an anus fixation. In fact, I seriously can’t stand when someone says they’re “anal” when they really mean anal retentive…

Josh

You know…sometimes you just want to write about stupid shit and you really wish you could because you don’t want to think about your friend Josh, who just spent six weeks in a psychiatric hospital after the men in the white coats came and took him away because he lost his mind doing bath salts. You really want to talk […]

Filed Under: Blog, Personal
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Potluck Favorites

I’m one of those people who likes the idea of cooking more than I like the actual execution of it, which is to say…I do it somewhat begrudgingly. My husband, who I suspect is just happy to have something to eat, insists that I’m actually not a bad cook and everything I cook is awesome. God bless him for his […]

Motherless Day Redux

Every year on Mother’s Day, I struggle a little bit. I’m not sad or depressed but I have mixed feelings about this day. After giving it some thought, I concluded that those feelings haven’t changed at all since I wrote about Mother’s Day 5 years ago so instead of trying to re-invent the proverbial wheel, I’ve pasted it in below.

S-E-X

A couple days ago I took my son, daughter and my daughter’s friend to the movies. We went to a theater in our historic district which bears an uncanny resemblance to Bourbon St in New Orleans. There are bars, restaurants, nightclubs and shops all up and down 7th Ave, the main drag. I think the only thing missing are the […]

Yet Another Mom 2.0 Post (Brimming with insight, hyperbole, superlatives, link love and win!)

It’s that time again; the time known as after-the-blogging-conference; the time in which I spend what few quiet moments I have mentally composing a post that will effectively convey my experiences at said conference (all while trying, rather  unsuccessfully, to hit the ground running and get back into parenting mode). For the last few conferences I’ve attended, however, I haven’t […]

Goodbye Baby Shmoo

Dear Shmoo, I’m writing this while you’re still with me. I just don’t think I’ll be able to find the words later and frankly, I need to pass the time until the vet gets here. Sitting on the floor crying, like I have much of the morning, just makes my head hurt. But at least you’re here sleeping in my […]

Filed Under: Blog, Personal
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