Frenemies and Other Lame Things

Well, the world didn’t end on 12-21-2012, which is good. But then again, we have the Korean krazypants, Kim Jong Un, making threats and pointing his nukes at everyone so maybe I shouldn’t get too happy just yet, huh?

Right now, I should really be writing out my thoughts and feelings in the form of a letter (that I won’t send) to a friend who really hurt my feelings yesterday. She’s not just a friend, though—our 12 year old daughters have been friends since they were two. This complicates things immensely.

I won’t bore you with the details except  to say that she made some incredulous claims about my motivations regarding a recent event..something that hurt her child’s feelings but that I absolutely did not do.

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Should I Be Christmas Shopping or Doomsday Prepping?

Ugh.

I don’t know what’s wrong got me so down but I have less than zero holiday spirit this season. Usually, I love Christmas and decorate the shit out of my house and bake cookies and do all that other Martha Stewart-y stuff  that I eschew the rest of the year.

But this year, I just can’t muster the required JOY! to make all those things happen and I’m even feeling a wee bit resentful that I have to participate at all.

Exhibit A:

We’re supposed to decorate our tree tonight and I’m all “Can I just lay here on the couch and read my book?”

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Fifty Shades of Grey Discussed Via Text Message

ME: So I’m at the airport and I bought Fifty Shades of Grey

FRIEND: No!

ME: What? I was bored and it’s a bestseller. How bad could it be?

FRIEND: It’s a creepy S&M book

ME: I know, I know. This is “viral buzz” working its evil magic on another unsuspecting reader

FRIEND: You’re gonna be all ‘Team Christian’

ME: Do I have a choice? Who else is there?

FRIEND: See? You’re already becoming submissive

ME: I didn’t even start reading it yet (thanks to the chatty stranger next to me)

FRIEND: Apparently Christian Grey’s powers of domination are just that strong

ME: shut your whore mouth! I’m the boss!

FRIEND: Oh yeah, you’re Tony Danza!

ME: I’m NOT Tony Danza. I’m Judith Light but with way better hair.

ME: So wait…why do people hate this book so much?

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Free-Range Parenting Fail or Accidents Happen?

My seven year old son has recently developed an interest in running which always makes me smile a little because this is not something I’d ever expect from him. Like his mom, he’s a very firm believer in never exerting himself too terribly much.

Soooo…when he started asking to come along and run the track while my daughter and I are at cheer practice three nights a week, I happily let him.

He was like Forrest Gump…just running and running and running around that track and he swears he did ten laps one night. But then he realized he has access to the playground at the school next to the football field and has been going over there to play while I sit on my butt watching cheer practice and talking to the other parents.

He’s not super close by (maybe 3/4 of a football field away) but I can see him and every minute or so, I look over there to make sure all is well. He’s usually running around and playing with other kids or climbing all over an elaborate array of monkey bars. Of course that part makes me a little nervous because it’s a long way to the ground but I figure we all grew up playing on monkey bars and it’s good exercise for him so I just try to relax and let him have his fun.

Last week, while he ran the track and then went to the playground, I walked over to let him know I was going to the fieldhouse for a minute and would be right back. Upon my return, I again went to him to let him know I’d be over on the bleachers if he needed me.

As per usual, I kept an eye on him while watching the girls and chatting with the other moms and dads.

Well, I must have forgotten to look over for a more than a couple minutes because when I tried to spot him, he was nowhere to be found. It was dusk and I figured I just couldn’t see him and was getting up to walk over there when one of the coaches came over and told me the nurse called her from the fieldhouse and asked her to let me know my son was injured and bleeding.

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A Party for the People and You’re ALL Invited!

I can’t believe it’s been six years. Six years from what, you ask?

Six years since we threw the first party that would later become what’s now known as The People’s Party!

It started in Chicago as an open party at the bar at the top of the hotel where all the BlogHer 07 Conference attendees were staying. Everyone got a couple free drinks and if the photos are any indication, a really good time was had by all.

Over the years, that party grew in size and scale and for a few years, has been the official opening party of of the annual BlogHer conference but the one thing that has never changed is that it’s a party for everyone attending the conference!
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When Did Saying Thank You Stop Being Enough?

First let me start off by saying that I appreciate all you do, teachers, coaches and scout leaders. Really, I do.  By and large, you have all been truly wonderful.

Okay, now that I’ve told you that I appreciate all you do (and I mean it), I’m going to put myself out there and risk being verbally crucified by saying that I’m OVER the gifts I am constantly being pressured to pony up for on your behalf.

When your kids have 7-9 teachers between them, the holiday gifts, teacher appreciation week gifts and end of the year gifts get expensive. I know I live in a nice part of town (in a very small and unimpressive house in a meh neighborhood, mind you) so all you people that plan these gift-giving extravaganzas think I’m made of money but guess what?

I’M NOT.

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Fact: Parenting is Hard and Life Sucks Sometimes

Part I

The past few months have been so damned hard. There are days when I don’t know if I’m coming or going. I’m spread too thin. I’m emotionally exhausted. I feel like I have the world on my shoulders sometimes…

Tonight, I got really angry with my daughter. I exploded. I yelled and screamed and said I hated my life…that I would be glad if the world ended on 12-21-2012.

I won’t even expound on how wrong that is. All I can say is this has been building for a while…

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