Category: Personal
Happy Birthday

My 24 hours of special treatment from my family is almost over…another birthday nearly behind me. If I were a pessimist, I’d say “Ohhhh, another birthday, another year closer to death” but I make a point not to think of stuff like that. I cannot, however, lie and say I haven’t spent a few moments lamenting the fact that I’m […]

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And You’re Not Invited

Do you remember the first time you found out YOU weren’t invited to a party but all your friends were? (And I’m not talking about that revival thing that was being sent around on Facebook by an old (and very saved) friend. I wouldn’t go to that anyway—you see, God and I have an understanding… He doesn’t nag or guilt […]

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The Good News Is…

Well, the good news is I don’t cancer.  The less-good news is I still don’t know what the frig is going on with me, although now that the colon cancer thing is off the table, I’m far less concerned.  Honestly, I have very little faith in doctors. Most of the times that I really needed their help (beyond a cold […]

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Thanks for Nothing, Big Corporate Robber Barons

Okay, I finally got up the nerve to make the appointment for Asscam 09 (tomorrow & I’m terrified) only to find out that since it’s a diagnostic asscam instead of a screening asscam, it’s going to cost me a $300 copay because, inexplicably, it’s considered an outpatient SURGERY. Seriously? The woman from the insurance company says it’s because they invade […]

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Got the Scary Asscam Baby Denial Blues

I got my period today. I guess that’s good. Last month, after a little mistake right around ovulation time, I was worried that I might be pregnant because I am nothing if not fertile. Like I always get knocked up on the first try fertile. How I didn’t become a teen pregnancy statistic is a complete mystery to me… Anyway, […]

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Lost: Suddenly, Free-Range Parenting Seems Really Stupid

This 4th of July, we decided to go to the beach to watch fireworks. This particular beach has a lot of activity going on every evening and on Independence Day, even more so. After letting the kids play on the playground for a while, we made our way down to the water. Though the sun was beginning to set, there […]

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Mean Girls Suck

Every summer my daughter goes to day camp. She absolutely loves it and looks forward to it all year long. This year, the camp has started having theme days which are kind of like spirit days at school. Recently, the theme was superheroes and princesses and N was pretty psyched about it. As princess and superhero day approached, however, I […]

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Grandma Came. And Left.

Well…my baby is now officially four years old. He keeps saying he’s five (but I hope that never happens. I want him to stay just like he is forever *sniff*) And wonder of wonders…I managed, somehow, to get my house clean and almost all the laundry washed and folded (but not all put away because apparently, when ALL our clothes […]

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Oh Crap! Grandma’s Coming!

One might have thought, from the title, that this was one of those wacky, sitcom-esque “Oh no! My mom’s on her way. Hide the porn/bong/vice of your choice!” kind of posts. Heh. If only… The real story is that my stepmom will be here in TWO days. She just called me up out of the clear blue and told me […]

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Best Weight Loss Tip Ever

I’m not implying that any of YOU need to lose weight but if you ever need some inspiration to keep your eye on the ball and your ass in gear, just put on your bathing suit and look in the mirror. This is especially important if you’re putting on your bathing suit for the first time since it got warm. […]

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To My Mall Ratty White Trash Mom

Last Sunday on Mother’s Day, I awoke around noon and was greeted with a fantastic breakfast (that means BACON), fresh coffee, gorgeous pink Gerber daisies (my favorite) and the sweetest little treasures from my children. Accompanying the gifts from my daughter was a card/drawing she made at school that touched my heart—but also made me scratch my head a bit […]

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A Delicate Dance

I know she wants to hear from me and I always promise that I won’t let so much time go between calls. But I do and I don’t know why, although I have my theories. I always tell her she can call me whenever she wants; that no time would be a bad time to hear from her. But she […]

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