Category: LOL
What New Moms REALLY Want

Porn for New Moms is, from what I can tell, a book of photos of men doing what new moms most want them to do, which is to get off their asses and help (no offense, fellas) So yeah, it’s pix of hot guys holding babies, changing diapers and stuff like that and it’s fricken ingenius. Really. And I wish […]

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Ouch

Son: Mommy, you my fwend. Me: Awww…you’re my friend, too, buddy Son: And TV my fwend. Me: *cringing on the inside* TV? Really? Son: Yes Me: Okay, but who do you like better—mommy or TV? Son: TV

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Did Motherhood Steal Your Mojo?

There are lots of ways to spice up your sex life but I’m pretty sure that the video below is not the tool upon which you should be basing your strategy…unless you find that laughter is an aphrodisiac—in which case, grab the object of your affection and watch it together. Hell, you may even learn something in between snickers and […]

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An Open Letter to My Body, the Traitor

Dear Body, Happy belated Valentine’s Day. Yes, I was being facetious. You know I don’t subscribe to made-up holidays that leave at least half the population sad and depressed that they don’t have someone to give them some Hallmark-mandated love and a red velvet box of chocolates from the local Walgreens. I prefer my consumerism-on-steroids holidays to at least be […]

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This Resolution Sucks

One of my numerous New Years Resolutions: To get more organized—not just with my stuff but in the management of my time (this should probably include not screwing around on the internet so much, yes?) and the running of my household (I know…so lame) Current Resolution Status: For three weeks I’ve been rolling this stuff around in my head, trying […]

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Seriously?

I remember hearing awhile back that Disney’s squeaky clean teen queen Miley Cyrus had declared herself a virgin and intended to remain one until marriage. I think it was when she was seeing one of the less fortunate Jonas Brothers. But then I saw a picture of Miley’s current boyfriend, 20 yr old model Justin Gaston, and I had to […]

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Thoughts on a Tagline

Tagline. Notice I don’t have one. I mean it’s not like a requirement or anything but sometimes it can help illuminate a bit about the author. So…in keeping with the caffeine/coffee/I-stay-up-way-too-late thing that is the inspiration for this blog’s name, I started mentally toying with taglines. Best one yet: Always Up. Always Hot. lololololol I crack myself up. What? Think […]

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Naked Statue Men

Yesterday we were watching Rick Steves’ Europe. As you’ve probably already deduced, it’s a travel show about Europe. And in Europe there are lots and lots of museums that Rick Steves likes to visit and of course, edumacate us on the works of art contained therein: 8 Year old daughter: What’s so great about a naked statue man with no […]

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Lost in Translation

A long time ago I had a t-shirt with some Japanese characters on the back along with a dragon graphic. I had no idea what the characters said and had honestly not given it much thought until a girl I knew who was a Japanese language instructor told me it said something really nonsensical and funny, which now escapes me. […]

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Things I Learned This Weekend

Things I Learned This Weekend — this weekend being the weekend of my son’s 3rd birthday party… I should note that the poor little tyke had been screwed out a proper birthday celebration for the previous two years thanks to the all-important family reunion beach thing, put on by the huz’s clan, that we’ve attended for the past 15 years […]

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My Parenting Book Deal Should Be Coming Any Day Now

I was woken up this morning with a tampon being waved in my face, unwrapped and thankfully, unused. I guess my son took a detour to the bathroom before coming to wake me up and demand “chocktick mook.” Can you decipher that? It’s chocolate milk. Yes, I’ve become one of those moms who gives their kid chocolate milk (Shut up! […]

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Scenes from a Mall

In previous odes to jeans on this blog, I’ve totally spouted off on the unattractiveness of the low-rise jean. I went on and on about how they make your butt look bad and that if you’re not a toothpick or a supermodel but rather an ordinary woman with some actual flesh on her hips, you’ve probably been sporting the dreaded […]

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