First off, let me say that I’m not a fan of McDonald’s. Other than the Southwestern salad, I find their food largely unappetizing. Now, that doesn’t mean I won’t eat a fry or two because okay…their fries are pretty tasty. But the burgers are weird and have little hard things in them and the nuggets, despite claims to be all […]
Dear Craigslist People, I know you turn to Craigslist to find a bargain (unless you’re one of those jackasses that posts nekkid pix of yourself from your Grandma’s bathroom…the crocheted poodle toilet paper cover is a dead giveaway, just in case you were wondering how I knew you were at your Grandma’s house perving it up in her bathroom. Also, […]
The BEST word verification EVER.
Nine out of ten doctors recommend that if you fall behind while doing NaBloPoMo, post funny pictures… I got a ton of these things via email so I don’t know who to credit for them… To whoever made these, thank you for saving my sorry ass on only the 5th day of NaBloPoMo.
Continuing with the ass theme of the past two weeks… Underwear with butt (and crotch) pads for men… Hot or not? Awesome or awful? Frankly, I’d expect that sort of thing for women—we’re ALL ABOUT the illusion…makeup, fake nails, colored hair, highlights, spray tans, push-up bras, shapewear (remember when that shit was called a girdle?), Botox and yes, Booty Pop […]
Well, the good news is I don’t cancer. The less-good news is I still don’t know what the frig is going on with me, although now that the colon cancer thing is off the table, I’m far less concerned. Honestly, I have very little faith in doctors. Most of the times that I really needed their help (beyond a cold […]
For your WTFing pleasure, I give you… Yeah, it was more visual than essay. That’s because I’m busy fretting about my inability to find non-ugly, non-hurty shoes for the conference that cannot be named because it pisses people off. Also freaking out about the anomaly that used to be my face (I’m breaking out like a 14 year old boy…again).
In other appendage news… Awkward Boners—they’re EVERYWHERE! (hat tip to Danny)
My daughter put this little mirror in front of my face so I jokingly say “Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?” And my son, completely serious, says “What mall? Who’s the fairest OF THE MALL? Get it? Come on…you know that shit is funny. SMILE!
Last Sunday on Mother’s Day, I awoke around noon and was greeted with a fantastic breakfast (that means BACON), fresh coffee, gorgeous pink Gerber daisies (my favorite) and the sweetest little treasures from my children. Accompanying the gifts from my daughter was a card/drawing she made at school that touched my heart—but also made me scratch my head a bit […]
This is funny as hell… If you like Andy Samberg and Seth Rogen, you’ll love it. If you think Andy Samberg and Seth Rogen are the most annoying people on the planet, well, you STILL might like it but in the unlikely event that you hate it? Don’t blame me. I just work here.
At the mall… T: *whining* It’s not fair. Why does he always get to ride in the stroller? Me: Because he’s three and you’re eight. You’re really just too big for the stroller now. T: *indignant* That’s no reason to not let me use it!!!