Mad Linky Love with a Side of Assvice on Fearless Friday!

First of all, as part of their virtual baby shower extravaganza, I have some some advice (and assvice) for TB, Liz and Christina, three lovely ladies that are expecting babies in the very near future.

First the assvice…

Don’t try to be quiet for the baby. Let them fall asleep in the middle of your household noise so they get used to it.

I heard that little gem so many times but in my experience, it’s nonsense and just depends on the baby. Some can sleep through a hurricane and others will wake at a pin dropping. Time will definitely tell you which kind of sleeper your baby will be. Roll with it!

Read more »

These Boots Were Made for Kissing!

My step-aunt came to visit on Saturday and she brought these adorable pink cowboy boots for TQ, who, after kissing them, announced that she loves her boots so much she’s going to marry them. It’s fun to see her so excited and it kind of makes me want to go out and buy myself a pair of totally frivolous and impractical shoes SO BEAUTIFUL that I would be compelled to kiss them, too! What kind of shoes would inspire you to kiss them?

And speaking of which…how could I forget this video? If you haven’t seen “Shoes” by now, you’re long overdue and I absolutely promise you’ll laugh or maybe even snort a beverage out your nose. (A hat tip to those goddesses of pop culture over at MamaPop for bringing it to my attention)

˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚

Don’t forget about the Support a Mom contest over at the Mom Trap. Write a post about a pregnant mom or mom-to-be that you know who needs a little support or TLC and she might win some nice goodies and/or services (spa day or housecleaning) all thanks to you!

Is it Your Turn to Bring the Dessert?

Then you HAVE to try this…if you’re willing to veer away from plain old pumpkin pie and wallow in some major gastronomic SIN this Thanksgiving!

Seriously, I made this last Thanksgiving and Oh. My. God.

Crust
3/4 cup graham cracker crumbs
3 tablespoons light brown sugar
5 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1-1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

(I used a pre-made 10 in. graham cracker crust. It was much easier but you will have a little batter left over if you do it that way)

Swirl
3 ounces bittersweet chocolate, chopped (I used Ghirardelli’s bittersweet chips but any kind is fine)
1/3 cup heavy (whipping) cream

Filling
Two 8-ounce packages natural cream cheese, at room temperature
2/3 cup sugar
1/2 cup canned pumpkin (not pumpkin pie filling)
1/4 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon ground ginger
1/8 teaspoon ground cloves
1/4 cup heavy (whipping) cream
5 eggs
(I altered the recipe and added 1 oz. of the Ghiradelli chips to the list of filling ingredients)

Crust: Preheat the oven to 275 F. Combine the crust ingredients and press into the bottom of a buttered 9-inch cake pan with 2-inch sides.

To make the swirl: In the top of a double boiler over gently simmering water, melt the chocolate with the cream. Stir until smooth, then set aside, keeping it warm.

To make the filling: Cream the cream cheese and sugar at medium speed in the bowl of an electric mixer, scraping the bowl frequently and beating until smooth. Add the pumpkin, spices and cream, beating until smooth. Beat in the eggs one at a time, beating well between each addition.

Pour filling over the crust OR pour half if you like chocolate and follow the step right below this one.

(This part is my addition. You can skip it if you like less chocolate)–> Evenly spread the 1 oz. of chips throughout and then continue pouring the batter over the chips until pie shell or pan is full

Drizzle a spiral pattern with the melted chocolate on top of the filling and swirl it gently through the batter with the point of a knife. Do not stir.

Place the cheesecake pan in a larger baking pan and pour 1/2 inch of boiling water into the outer baking pan. < --- (I still did this step even though I used a pre-made pie shell)

Bake in the center of the oven for 1 hour, or until the center is firm and not soupy. (I still did this step even though I used a pre-made pie shell)

Cool at room temperature, then chill at least 2 hours.

To serve, (I served it from the pie tin so I didn't do this step. Skip unless you're serving it as a cake) dip the bottom of the pan in very hot water for 1 minute. Invert onto a sheet of stiff cardboard or a plate. Remove the pan and place a serving plate on the bottom of the cheesecake. Holding both the top and bottom plates (or cardboard), flip the cheesecake back over and remove the plate or cardboard from the top.

˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚

Thanks to everyone who answered my “Dr. Mom” page and shared your insights. I’ve been doing this for 6 years but I had NO idea you could feel like you’re walking on the moon from a fever!

Fortunately, the kids seem to be all better by Friday night/Saturday morning, after two VERY long weekdays. Late Thursday night, right after I went in to check her fever, TQ came running out of her to show me that her top left tooth had fallen out, which is great because her last loose tooth had to be “helped” along. It was hanging by a thread of gum tissue for about a week and it was grossing me out so I finally pulled it and it was awful! I do NOT recommend…

The Cranky, Grumpy, Irritable, No Good Day

Um…you know how when you take antibiotics, there’s always this warning about your birth control pill possibly becoming less effective? I think that happened to me.

No! No pregnancy scares or anything like that!

Please. You’d actually have to have sex for something like that to happen.

Since I’ve been back on the pill, I’ve felt pretty level in terms of moodiness and being bitchy, fatigue etc.

But today…OMG…I’ve been super aggro and grouchy and I feel horrid. Very bad. Think PMS on steroids.

I think it’s because I’ve been taking antibiotics for a sinus thing and they are interfering with my BCP’s. I was in serious bitch mode today, as you will see in the story below.

˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚

I hope everyone had a fun Halloween! TQ had a blast trick or treating with Wendy’s daughter, Girlie, but P was kind of cranky and ended the evening with full-on howling and crying in the car. Come to find out…his shoe was hurting his toe. Poor little guy…

Today he absconded with yet another remote for our other DVR. He’s already lost one and I strongly suspect he put that one in the trash can, insuring we will never, ever find it since that bag is long gone. But after he took off with our one remaining remote today and I turned the house upside down trying to find it, I only succeeded in finding the battery cover. *sigh* So…I had to get another one because the DVR, which also functions as a cable box, is useless without a remote.

After a fruitless trip to our local Circuit City, where I’m fairly certain you have to have a negative IQ to secure employment, I decided to hike it all the across the city to a Verizon Plus store to procure a replacement Motorola remote. The nice lady on the phone from Verizon (my phone & cable company) assured me they would have them so after I got TQ from school, the threeof us drove in gridlocked traffic only to be told by “Dino” that they don’t have them there.

As mentioned, I was pretty irritable already and this news didn’t help my mood. I politely asked “Dino” to find out where in fricken creation I have to go to get a replacement remote. He begrudgingly got on the phone with somebody from Verizon and with a very blatant eyeroll said, “I dunno. She says someone told her she could get them here.”

To clarify that I didn’t get this info from the homeless guy on the corner but rather from a Verizon representative, I interjected:

“I was told by the Verizon business office…” and he put his hand up at me and starts SHUSHING ME!

Because I had my kids with me and ONLY because of them, I decide to forgo this battle and start to walk away towards a waiting area sofa and he says:

“Yeah…you go over there”

THE HELL??? WAS I JUST DISMISSED???

Me: *whipping around* “WHAT did you just say to me???”

Dino: “Blah blah blah blah…blah blah blah I’m a rude asshole with man boobs and an ugly shirt blah blah blah”

Me: “What is your name?”

Dino: “Dino” said in a most smarmy tone which is even more irritating when coupled with his smugly face. Oh, and his jiggly little man-boobs. Ugh. Jerk.

I was still seething as I gathered the kids and went over to the guy on the other side of the store, who very kindly offered me the manager’s business card so I could complain about Dino, who apparently has a habit of mistreating customers. I know. It’s so hard to believe…

Anyway, this fabulous guy, Mike, ordered me two new remotes and LOANED ME one of their demos to use until mine arrive. How COOL is that??

Blood pressure drops about thirty points. Faith in human nature is restored. I thank Mike profusely for his kindness and sneer at Dino as I exit the store, making extra sure that he sees the loaner remote AND business card in my hand.

Hahhhhhh beyotch! Take that!

Good triumphs over evil and I don’t kill anyone despite my sincere desire to do so! *happy sigh*

Happy Halloween!

Do they have 12 step programs for people that love Halloween too much?

I may need one…

The cards we sent…

At the pumpkin patch!

Also at the pumpkin patch!

Our pumpkin!

Our haunted house (made from a kit)

The candy corn costume made by yours truly!

Unfrosted ghost cakes for TQ’s class!

One of many new decorations purchased
months before Halloween!

˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚

Don’t assume the telephone calls are coming from another house.

When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see if it’s really dead.

Don’t go into the basement to check the power when the lights go out.

If your children speak to you in Latin, Sanskrit, or any other language which they should not know, shoot them immediately. Although this seems harsh, it will save you a lot of grief in the long run. Note that it will take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak with somebody else’s voice.

As a general rule, don’t solve puzzles that open a portal to Hell.

If you wake up from a particularly horrific dream and find yourself still alive, you probably aren’t awake yet.

Always believe the kid. Even if the kid has lied before, even if you think that the kid has been watching too much TV — believe the kid.

If you’re searching for something which caused a loud noise and find out that it’s just the cat, don’t stand there sighing with relief - GET OUT!

If appliances start operating by themselves, don’t check for short circuits; JUST GET OUT!

The weirdo is always the one who saw this coming.

Do not take anything from the dead.

Don’t fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you’re really sure you know what you’re doing.

If trees, TVs, or other objects try to consume your children, save as many as you can and then get out of the area.

Never, ever, make fun of the “odd” kid.

Don’t go camping.

If at any time the house or place you’re staying in asks you to get out - DON’T argue.

If you’re running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at least twice; more if you are of the female persuasion and/or wearing high heels.

If you turn and look back, and you don’t see the maniac/spirit/demon/creature chasing you, stop and run immediately back the way you came because the maniac/spirit/demon/ creature is now in front of you.

Listen to the dying person. They have the best ideas.

If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behavior such as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness, etc., kill them immediately.

If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, and you think it strange because you were sure you had a full tank, shoot yourself. You are going to die anyway, and will most likely be eaten.

Never speak to clowns in sewers.

Castles are not normally found in the American Midwest. Be wary.

Beware of strangers bearing strange tools; for example: chainsaws, staple guns, hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, lawnmowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, laser pistols, Alludium Q-36 explosive space modulators, or any devices made from deceased companions. Also, be wary of anyone driving a combine.

Happy Halloween!