Archive for the ‘Happiness’ Category:
Meet Our New Green Baby
Until I decided to have children, I have to admit that environmental or “green” issues were a rather vague concept.
Sure, I was willing to support cleaner air and water. I mean, who wouldn’t? However, with the advent of my beloved internet that I adore so much that I wish I could kiss it, my eyes were soon opened to some really unsavory facts.
For example, I remember first reading that dairy cows were being implanted with devices that would constantly dose them with synthetic growth hormones (rBST, rBGH) made by chemical behemoth Monsanto.
As if that weren’t gross enough, I also read that scientists were linking that same hormone to female early onset puberty in S. America where the implants were totally unregulated and heavily used in both dairy cows and beef cows, too, to fatten them up faster.
Monsanto? Implants? Synthetic hormones? Seven year olds with boobs and pubic hair? WTF??? How is that even legal?
It was then that I started to realize that our government doesn’t necessarily act in the best interest of the people or the planet and corporate interests seem to have an awful lot of leeway when it comes to keeping products safe and industrial practices environmentally sound.
The bottom line? The government seems to care almost exclusively about the economy and corporations care about profits. I realized you have to approach these issues from that standpoint so I committed to buying green, eco-friendly and organic whenever possible.
A green mom was born! I bought my first half gallon of organic milk when I was newly pregnant and I’ve never looked back. I’m committed to raising my children with the healthiest food I can buy (within our budgetary constraints), removing as many toxins and chemicals from our household as we reasonably can and trying to make environmentally positive choices in everything we do.
All of this to tell you, my very smart and attractive readers, that myself and my fantabulous partner Cristina are today launching a new website called Green Mom Finds.
It’s both a resource site as well as a place to get new ideas every day for safer and more earth-friendly alternatives to the products that your family needs and uses.
We’ll be having some great green giveaways, as well as tracking other green contests around the web and scoring you some discounts to lots of eco and people friendly goodies.
We’ll also be highlighting other green moms around the web and serving up simple tips to help you and your family go green or get greener!
We’re really proud of the site and we hope you’ll enjoy it, too. This is the part where I try to flatter you into putting one of out pretty little buttons on your site because you are so cool and awesomely awesome.
And if that doesn’t work, I’m not averse to a little begging. My pride isn’t that important. So if you like what we’ve done and you want to lend us your support, pleeeeeeze put our button in your sidebar. We’ll be your best green friends :)
(If you’ve made it this far, thanks for being ever-so-patient and letting me prattle on about our new baby. You rock!)
Where Did I Go Right?
Yesterday, after way too many days in a row at home, I decided the kids and I needed to get out of the house without the huz. Having all four family members up in each other’s grills since before Christmas was giving everyone a bad case of cabin fever.So newly acquired toys and other shiny new distractions be damned, I gathered up the kids and off we went to the library. After accruing $12 in overdue fines last time, I’d learned my lesson and was intent on getting everything back by the due date. I mean TWELVE BUCKS! Do you know what I could have bought with twelve dollars? Okay. Not much. But still…you feel really stupid when you have to write the freaking library a twelve dollar check.
When we arrived at the library and exited the car, I noted a big plastic KFC bag filled with assorted fast food garbage spilling out of it and some other stray garbage from McDonalds littering the empty parking space next to us.
As I was getting P out of his carseat, I remarked to my daughter something along the lines of “God…people can be such pigs. Why can’t they just throw their junk in a trash can somewhere?”
I proceeded to get my books out of the car when my daughter said something that floored me:
“Mommy, I know this isn’t my stuff but I’m going to pick it all up and throw it away”
Holyshizzle!!!! I was so proud of her I could have cried. I mean this is a child who completely grosses out when I have her empty the bathroom trash can. She is repulsed by anything like that and yet she opts to pick up this nasty, disgusting fast food garbage that some douche left in a parking lot.
So we both pick pick up the trash which, I might add, is covered with ants. Both of her hands are full I’ve got trash in one hand and I’m holding P’s hand with the other while carrying about 10 lbs of books in bag on my shoulder. We gingerly carry it all to the trash can by the entrance to the library and dispose of it. Then we make a mad dash for the bathroom and wash our hands with LOTS of soap.
I know it doesn’t sound like a big deal but to me? This is evidence that I’ve done something right. Yay me! Yay her!
And TQ, darling? Just so you know how proud you’ve made me with your good deed — I’ve almost completely forgotten that you fibbed to me again the other day or that you had to have a time out at the park for being a turd to your friends. Love you, baby. Rock on with your good bad self :)
God Save the Queen (of Spain) — From Ever Driving in Florida Again
So last night I had a hot date.
No, really. I did
With the Erin (aka the Queen of Spain). She’s here in my neck of the Devil’s Buttcrack with her kids, avoiding the smoke from SoCal’s unfortunate fires. And by my luck, she’s only staying about 45 minutes north of me (unless she ignores my carefully crafted driving directions via Google maps and ends up at the wrong mall, ahem, in which case, it will take a whole lot longer ;)
We met at a mall near my house because, well, I don’t get out much unless you count the little Thai place that we order takeout from every week so I really didn’t know where we should meet for dinner.
We settled on P.F. Changs (I think they have those everywhere, don’t they? It’s like an Asian Bennigan’s minus all the crap on the walls) and after we figured out she was at a completely different mall and then almost went over a very long bridge toward the beaches, she found her way to me and comes rollin’ up in a really nice ride that made my momvan look positively square. Well, MORE square, that is…
So anyway, we were promptly seated in a nice raised booth, above the noisy din of the masses (because she IS the Queen, after all) and we proceeded to talk NONSTOP, pausing only to order cocktails, eat some dinner and indulge in some kind of chocolate and raspberry sin on a plate.
We CLOSED the freakin’ place down and then we sat outside under a giant horse for a while longer until we looked at the time. It was after midnight and she had a post deadline to meet so we said our goodbyes and she headed on her long drive home.
So this morning I get an email and it seems the road I told her take to get on the expressway was closed and she got re-routed all over creation in yet another driving debacle (hence the title of this post) and yet? She still got home and wrote her post before her deadline. Amazing, she is…
Now, I’ve met Erin before and I read her blog and of course, I’ve always liked her and admired her moxie (who else would have the balls to form the Tit Brigade?) but now?
I’m in lurrrrrve. She’s so smart and down to earth and cool and on top of it all, very kind and compassionate so I’ve decided that if we ever end up relocating to California, as my husband insists we will, I’m moving right next door to Erin.
Thanks for a great time, your highness.
Stop back later for the pix. I can’t find the cord to download them from the camera and some husbandly intervention may be required.
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A not-so-happy happy pill withdrawal update… I’m doing better taking half (50mg) of a Zoloft a day but I’m still a little nauseated, achy and tired. It seems to come and go throughout the day but at least now I feel semi-human again. Thanks to everyone for your well wishes and advice. ’tis all greatly appreciated :)
No Kid, Huh?
Before I had kids, well, actually way before I was THINKING about having kids, I thought I didn’t want any. It wasn’t because I had a fully-mapped out “life plan” or big goals in which children would have been an impediment. Definitely not that. Burning ambition has never been my strong suit…
I just didn’t have that maternal yen back then. And it wasn’t that I hated children. I simply had no feelings about them one way or the other and seeing as I didn’t ever envision myself being married, it stands to reason that I never spent any time envisioning myself as somebody’s mother, either.
I felt I was destined for bigger things, though I had no idea what those things would be. Of course, looking back on that, I have to laugh. What on earth was I thinking? And smoking?
The biggest irony of all, however, is that I ended up exactly where I never thought I’d be and frankly, becoming a mother, even with all it’s drudgery and sacrifice, is still the best and biggest and most important thing I’ve ever done.
Some people will nod their heads in agreement. Others will scratch their heads because they don’t quite understand. And others still will gag in disgust because they hate breeders, particularly self-congratulatory ones like myself, and they hate children. Not dispassion for us or even dislike for us but hate. They hate me and they think my kids shouldn’t exist.
Now I can understand people not wanting to have children and I don’t think it makes you a bad person to not want to be a parent. I know people who have decided not to have kids and they’re nice, normal, well-adjusted people so far as I can tell and I have no issues whatsoever with their decisions.
I do, however, take issue with those who have a more…extreme point of view; people who feel nobody should have children.
Corinne Maier’s book No Kid: Forty Reasons For Not Having Children is exemplary of this kind of extreme thinking. Maier herself admits the book is “50% provocation and 50% a serious book…”
Maier wrote the book because she has moments in which she bitterly regrets having kids and also as a response to France’s “cult of motherhood”, fueled by generous state subsidies and incentives to have children, which were intended reverse a decline in its birth rate.
Says Maier. “In France, people go on too much about the glory of motherhood and you’re not allowed to talk about all the problems having kids causes…” The Glory? HELLO? Mommy/parent bloggers have already pulled back that particular curtain, thankyouverymuch.
I’m the first to admit that motherhood is hardly glorious. It’s a lot of work. Duh. We all know that. What I don’t dig are some of her ridiculous statements about a child-free France:
“Just imagine. There’d be fewer of us around so rents would be cheaper, it would be easier to get a job and there’d be fewer traffic jams.”
Just who does Maier expect to change her diapers when she’s a miserable ninety year old? I have a newsflash for you, lady… No new babies being born = a city full of old people with nobody to care for them.
Now, I’m sure her statements are somewhat tongue-in-cheek and primarily intended to provoke and rile up oversensitive mommy-types like myself and I can accept that. Ann Coulter does that crap all the time but SOME of the COMMENTS in reference to an article about Maier’s book are kind of sad and disturbing (and very poorly written).
Here are some of th comments, verbatim, with my own (biased) responses following in italics:
Corinne is fantastic! Having children is a form of environmental pollution. We need less people consuming unconsciously the blood and life of this planet. — Andya , Coulson, UK
It’s too bad your mother didn’t share your philosophy, Andya. But hey…since you think the world needs less people, perhaps you’d like to sacrifice yourself in the name of of your convictions?
•••Overpopulation creates pollution (think about that , Mr A. Gore, having 4 (!) children). My wife and I are also childfree and loving every minute of it! Let’s abolish child benefit and the world will be a nicer and cleaner place. — john, ghent, Belgium
Dude, I know. I can’t believe they gave Al Gore the Nobel Peace Prize. I mean he has FOUR children. OMG! But seriously, John, who has done MORE to stop Global Warming? You and your happily child-free spouse or Al Gore?
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I never wanted a child but because of a highly correctable mistake we ended up having one. The result for me was something that I never experienced before…total collapse and depression. Real depression. I became a stay-at-home dad, moving away from my home town of Toronto where I had a wonderful job and a marvelous group of friends, to Ottawa, a provincial, conservative and unfriendly town where I know no one. Furthermore, the child that I care for is loud, confrontational and has “special needs” as he has Asperger’s Syndrome, a flavour-of-the-month problem that supposedly denies the kid any social elan, which is certainly evident in this kid. Now I am poor, looking for low wage jobs and I am lonely and depressed. AND I HATE IT! Ms Maier’s book cannot correct the stupid error, but it it so refreshing to know that I am not alone. After reading the responses on this page, I really know that I am not alone. Thank you, Ms Maier. You are a true friend. — John, Ottawa, Canada
I’m very sorry to hear that you are suffering from depression but you know, there ARE treatments for that. Perhaps a visit to your doctor is in order, no? And by the way, Asperger’s is NOT a “flavour of the month problem.” Are you really that ignorant? He is your child, your flesh and blood. How can you be so cruel? In my not very humble opinion, you give creedence to the idea that some people shouldn’t procreate and it sounds like your son would actually be better off without you (and your negativity) in his life.
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I agree completely with Corinne. I have a 3 yrs old boy myself and seperated from his father. I’d give a lot of money to turn back the clock. It sounds cruel but it is the truth! But if you say that openly to anyvbody in your social circle, your a bad mother or even a bad person… — Caroline, Barcelona
Perhaps this will sound cruel as well, but why don’t you give your son up for adoption? You don’t want him but I can assure you somebody out there does and he would be much better off with them rather than having a mother who wishes he were never born.
•••Less truly is more. haha! — molly, akron, ohio, us
Ahahaha, Molly! You’re sooo clever ;)
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Well, when we don’t multiply as a society, then our oh so pleasant society will cease to exist in 1-2 generations. And the other societies, you know, the less pleasant ones but with so many children, will claim the space with the remaining inhabitants. It’s that simple. — Esme, Prague, CZ
Finally, a voice of reason.
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Presumably the proudly childless will be expecting the offspring of the fertile to do all the work when they’re retired, man the hospitals, give them their medicine. Imagine if the work generation went on a tax strike. Why should their taxes go to pay for the welfare of those who didn’t want them to be born? — Guy, London, UK
Well said, Guy!
I’ve been reading this fascinating book called “The Nurture Assumption” and in it the author spends some time discussing how differently people parent today in the modern, urbanized world as compared to “traditional” societies (think villages and tribes etc). Even in just my lifetime, parenting has changed quite a bit.
For example, my parents never sought to entertain or stimulate me and didn’t even play with me all that much and that was NORMAL. And my parents certainly didn’t worship me or worry about boosting my self-esteem and college marketability every waking minute of the day. And that was NORMAL, too.
This is all to say that I know some parents (Not ME, of course. Heh) are kind of nuts and do some insane things that make them really easy to hate (Mandarin classes for toddlers anyone?) but wishing children away is not the solution.
Have you seen the movie “Children of Men?” hile I totally get that it’s a work of fiction, it paints a very, very grim picture.
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For those of you who aren’t all anti-parents, anti-kids, I have some interesting news about a cool new mommyblogging anthology coming out next year. I’ll have a little something published in it, along with pieces by a TON of awesome bloggers that make me swoon when I think of the good company I’ll be keeping between those pages!
It’s called The Best Little Mommyblogging Anthology Ever and our fellow author and editor, Rita of Surrender, Dorothy, has worked tirelessly on this project for over a year. I am humbled by her abilities and mad skillz and just so thrilled to be included. Please pop by Rita’s place and check out the long list of contributors and maybe give her a ‘lil high five action because she truly deserves it!
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And finally, the caption contest winner will be announced in my next post! Stay tuned.
Happy*
*This post is certified 100% drama, sad stuff and worry-free!
Making me happy:
• Fall. Yesterday was the first day that it seemed like fall (we barely have seasons in FL). The air felt different and the sun seemed a little less brutal and it’s been breezy and I’m in heaven. This is my most very favorite time of the year. For most people, spring is the season they associate with new beginnings but for me it’s always been fall. I feel carefree and cavalier and anything seems possible! (Of course, Florida being Satan’s Buttcrack, it’s likely it will get hot again before we have days like this every day).
• This book. Read the whole article if you have a couple minutes. While I’m not super-conservative in my own life, I kind of am with my kids (anyone who has read some of my rants about hoochie clothes and hoochie dolls and hoochie dolls with hoochie clothes knows this already) so when I read that the author talks about girls and young women rebelling against our culture’s constant sexualization of our gender, I feel happy.
• The state of my marriage. Things between my husband and myself are better than they’ve been in a long time. Do I still have moments of insecurity and doubt about us because of what he did? Indeed, I do. But I talk to him about it instead of acting out, which helps a lot.
Do I still feel scared that he will do it again or do something else to hurt me? Yes…but not often. Is he treating me the way I deserve to be treated; the way I’ve wanted to be treated for so long? Yes!
• The kindness and compassion of everyone who left comments on the post Of Guilt and Grief. You’re an amazing bunch of people. Oh, and all the people who supported me and didn’t give me any crap about wanting to leash my child, you rock, too :)
Thank you to Vicky for giving me a Perfect Post Award for Of Guilt and Grief. I’m honored and humbled :)
