I’m sorry for the delay in posting the winner of the naked dude on the beach caption contest but I wanted to let the winner know first and find out which prize she would be taking but I haven’t been able to reach her. Hopefully she will come here and see that she’s won!

So without further ado, the winning caption came from Sensible One. Her submission was one of the finalists and received the most reader votes:

Sunscreen…$10, Sunglasses…$40
Cock-Tails on the beach? Priceless

I also made a huge error when listing the finalists because I totally meant to include Canape’s holiday ditty as I and several other commenters thought it was hilarious. I had it on my list and I have no idea how or why I left it off. Let’s just blame mommy brain and leave it at that, k? To make up for my mistake, I’d also like to offer a free sidebar ad to Canape in lieu of listing her as a finalist as I’m sure she would have come in first or second with this gem:

Chet’s nuts roasting on an open beach
Sand in more than just his toes
High tide coming but not soon enough
And folks posed close to the pope’s nose . . .

And for the record, G-man came in second and Aimee of Greeblemonkey came in third. Nice job…Ya’ll funnnnny!!

••••••••

Have a second? Can you go view my groovy Scrapblog? Each view counts as an entry in a contest to win a free Blogher registration. So will you go look? Pleasssssssse! Thanks :)

As I skimmed the headlines this morning, I noticed that Girls Gone Wild chief douchebag, Joe Francis, is being sued again by two young women for releasing a sexually explicit video without their consent.

I know. SO shocking.

But to me, that’s neither here nor there. Francis’ MO of taking video footage of young women in compromising positions for the purpose of making tens of millions of dollars is well known by now. He’s a pig.

A pig with tour buses.

Yes, now in addition to going into clubs and party spots to approach girls whose judgment may be impaired and getting them to flash some T&A or make out or whatever in exchange for a cheap, ugly GGW trucker cap, the crews can now bring them on their bus to “perform” in their roving mobile studio. Supposedly they check all ID’s before they allow girls on the bus and never ever serve alcohol, as has been alleged. *coughBULLSHITcough*

The whole bus premise is completely vile and it’s definitely not in keeping with Francis’ claims that what they do is all very spontaneous and they just happen to be there to capture all those magical moments.

Ugh. I hope he loses every penny he ever made with GGW and fails miserably at mastering new and innovative ways to to safely pick up the soap while he’s incarcerated.

••••••••

There were so many great submissions that I wasn’t able to choose just one winner in the photo caption contest so what I’ve decided to do is let the readers speak. Out of the following captions, please cast your vote in the comments for the one you like best. I’ll tally the votes Friday morning.

In no particular order:

1- More and more naked men are washing up on the beach for no apparent reason.

2 - Amazing — he’s cheeky, cocky and ballsy!

3 - You call those beach balls?

4 - Sunscreen … $10, Sunglasses … $40, Cock-Tails on the beach? Priceless

5 - I said I wanted a pink lemonade, not a pink limousine!

While I have you here, can I ask a favor? Would you please, please, PRETTY PLEASE click this link and view my Scrapblog? That’s it! Just go look at it. Comments are optional.

See, I’m trying to win a free Blogher 07 trip for two (Yes, two! Who shall I take if I win? Maybe YOU!) and each pageview of my Scrapblog counts as an entry in the the sweepstakes so please, if you ever read anything on this blog that you enjoyed, click for me! Gracias, my friends :)

And to those who have already viewed my Scrapblog, thanks! You rock!

Got this photo via email and I have no idea who any of these people are but it makes for a great game of Where’s Waldo. Or Peter. Or Dick. Or John Thomas. MUST STOP! I’m cracking myself up over here.

I challenge you to caption this gem. Whoever makes me pee my pants (not THAT hard to do) will get a free two week ad in my sidebar or a stack of $5 off coupons for Similac Organic DHA/ARA formula. I’m not trying to push formula like some OB nurse on the L&D floor but I have a bunch of these and they expire in December and if you happen to be a formula user, they could come in handy, no?

So go ahead. Slay me :)

Specify in the comments which prize you want or if you don’t want either prize and just want to make me pee my pants. And if you’re really cool and spread the word about this little challenge, let me know so I can link you back:

Awesome Hot Betches Linking to this Post

Jenn of The I’mPerfect Parent

Jerri of A Crack’n Life

Canape of Don’t Take the Repeats

Erika of Plain Jane Mom

Sherry of Chaos Theory

Amy of Assertagirl

Jester of Jestertunes

Despite my own history with adoption secrets, I still find this oddly amusing. But then again, who can resist a good LOL Cat?

Funniest thing I’ve seen all day is this IKEA commercial that they’re not allowed to show here in the states.

Ha! Funny, right? You can see the rest of the IKEA commercials here.

Also, over at Props and Pans we’re giving away an awesome Rocketfish Twister Wireless Laser Notebook Mouse. These things are way cool (I’m using mine RIGHT NOW) and a lucky reader is going to score one. Jet on over there to get the details!

Does it mean I’m immature if I think this game sounds really fun? It’s like Pictionary but…a little different.

I know what you’re thinking.

How can she write about those hideous Bratz dolls*** and how they’re the bain of her existence and then write favorably about this…this PERVERSION of a perfectly good game?

Well…I’m a grown-up so grown-up things are okay for ME.

Anyhoo…I’m seriously considering buying it and making some BlogHer betches (and Hot Karl) play it with me after many cocktails!

C’mon, you know it looks like fun :)

Have you checked out Offsprung yet? It’s a site comprised of parentingish blogs, all of which are off-the-wall funny, smart, provocative or wonderfully irreverent. It’s a great blend; something for everyone. And I designed their logo and banners so it looks supa priddy, too!

˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚

Tomorrow is this hot betch’s birthday. Drop by and wish her a super 37th (even though she doesn’t look a day over thirty!)

Okay, I have to take a break from feeling sorry for myself for having such a cruddy week and try to suppress my gleeful giggles lest I wake my sleeping husband.

Why? Because I’m taking an obscene amount of pleasure in the fact that Paris Hilton is going to jail for 45 whole days. PINCH ME!

Frankly? I’m most looking forward to what I hope will be a nice, peaceful respite from seeing her and her crotch all over the place.

The only thing better than Paris going to jail is Paris and Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild being incarcerated simultaneously!

Ahhh…the world seems brighter and cleaner already.

*contented sigh*

But have you read about the “Women’s Town” Chinese tourist attraction? It’s a town where women rule and men get in trouble for disobedience. No, really… I’m serious.

The new motto of the town will be “women never make mistakes, and men can never refuse women’s requests.”

Hmmm. I wonder if they’ll ever franchise and open one up over here???

The article from Yahoo:

Chinese tourism authorities are seeking investment to build a novel concept attraction — the world’s first “women’s town,” where men get punished for disobedience, an official said Thursday.

The 2.3-square-km Longshuihu village in the Shuangqiao district of Chongqing municipality, also known as “women’s town,” was based on the local traditional concept of “women rule and men obey,” a tourism official told Reuters.

“Traditional women dominate and men have to be obedient in the areas of Sichuan province and Chongqing, and now we are using it as an idea to attract tourists and boost tourism,” the official, surname Li, said by telephone.

The tourism bureau planned to invest between 200 million yuan ($26 million) and 300 million yuan in infrastructure, roads and buildings, Li said.

“We welcome investors from overseas and nationwide to invest in our project,” he added.

The motto of the new town would be “women never make mistakes, and men can never refuse women’s requests,” Chinese media have reported.

When tour groups enter the town, female tourists would play the dominant role when shopping or choosing a place to stay, and a disobedient man would be punished by “kneeling on an uneven board” or washing dishes in restaurant, media reports said.

The project, begun in the end of 2005, was expected to take three to five years to finish.

Is that not the most bizarre thing you’ve read all day? And isn’t it wonderful for the lucky women who get to live there?!

Edited to Add: There seems to be some misunderstanding that I am not aware of or don’t care about the women/human rights issues brought to light by this new venture.

Au contraire, people… Women/human rights are known to be poor in China. That’s a given. The reason I say the women who live in this particular town are lucky is because they do not have to suffer as second class citizens as most women do in China and in countless other places around the world.

As for the men being submissive to women, I think it’s just the way things are there. I don’t believe anyone is forcing them to stay. In any case, the reason this area is being exploited for tourism is because the whole female-dominant scene, as a way of life rather than a source of sexual titillation, is an anomaly as well as a novelty.