Funny

I’ve read several posts this past week referencing “the big talk”. You know, the talk about the facts-of-life stuff that most parents are dreading because of the sheer awkwardness of it all. Hell, I still haven’t told my daughter the right names for her female body parts. Well, no. That’s not entirely true. I did...
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Last night, while flipping through catalogs trying to figure out what to do about Christmas gifts for the kids (haven’t done ANYTHING) I start getting upset (hello PMS) and talking to the Huz about all the guilt I’m feeling lately for not being Super Mom or even her distant cousin Mediocre Mom. I continue...
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First there was the doggy door incident where I turned my back on P for a minute to throw some laundry in the machine. I turned around to find him still chattering away in the general proximity of the patio but on the other side of the screen. AS IN OUTSIDE! Yes officer, that is...
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Do they have 12 step programs for people that love Halloween too much? I may need one… The cards we sent… At the pumpkin patch! Also at the pumpkin patch! Our pumpkin! Our haunted house (made from a kit) The candy corn costume made by yours truly! Unfrosted ghost cakes for TQ’s class! One of many new decorations purchased months before Halloween! ˚˚˚˚˚˚˚˚ IMPORTANT HALLOWEEN PUBLIC...
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In an effort to be an engaged and involved parent, as I have generally been throughout my daughter’s life, I attempted to attend my first PTA meeting today. It seems, however, that once again the gods were conspiring against me and I didn’t heed the warning signs: • Torrential rain - Yes, when it’s raining so...
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A conversation with the pediatrician’s nurse yesterday… Nurse: Here are his percentiles (handing me a sheet with my son’s height, weight, head size and corresponding percentiles for his 9 month check up) Me: Are these the percentiles based on a 9 month old? Because he’s over 10 months now. He was sick twice when he was...
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Here at IzzyMom, there’s not much I won’t write about. Within reason, anything is fair game. That said, I’d like to discuss something that is causing me some serious distress lately. I know “crotch couture” has already been touched upon over at Motherhood Uncensored recently but seriously, what IS the deal with body hair...
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I’m a fan of consignment stores. I truly think they are great. Without them, what would we do with all the assloads of baby and kid junk that we’ve acquired that they so quickly outgrow or get tired of? Yes, I know I can give it to the Salvation Army and many times I...
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When my husband and I bought our first house, I kept noticing this weird smell around the toilet in the master bathroom. It was familiar but I couldn’t quite place it. Until one day when I realized the smell was that of sweaty balls. Yes. You read correctly. The toilet had one of those...
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Thursday 1:15 am In case you were wondering what I did all day today, in no particular order… - Read daughter 2,817 books. Okay, it was more like 7. - Briefly considered going to the grocery store. Decided hunger was more palateable - Found daughter slathering herself from head to toe in body glitter gel. Decided there were...
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