Funny

Yesterday we were watching Rick Steves’ Europe. As you’ve probably already deduced, it’s a travel show about Europe. And in Europe there are lots and lots of museums that Rick Steves likes to visit and of course, edumacate us on the works of art contained therein: 8 Year old daughter: What’s so great about...
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Things I Learned This Weekend — this weekend being the weekend of my son’s 3rd birthday party… I should note that the poor little tyke had been screwed out a proper birthday celebration for the previous two years thanks to the all-important family reunion beach thing, put on by the huz’s clan, that we’ve attended...
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I was woken up this morning with a tampon being waved in my face, unwrapped and thankfully, unused. I guess my son took a detour to the bathroom before coming to wake me up and demand “chocktick mook.” Can you decipher that? It’s chocolate milk. Yes, I’ve become one of those moms who gives...
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In a recent discussion with my mother-in-law, I lamented over the fact that her late husband told us he’d set up a pre-paid college plan for my daughter but as it happens, he didn’t. It’s put us way behind in saving for college. And yes, I’m kind of irritated. Now as in-laws go, I could...
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Dear Self, I know you are a very caring mom and when your son comes to you and speaks the words “boo boo”, you never hesitate to immediately give the afflicted area a kiss to make it all better. However, in the future? You should make darned sure he is saying “boo boo” when he...
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Prepare yourself for the weirdest, freakiest babies you’ve ever seen. Note their expressionless faces, their soulless eyes. Note their uncanny ability to sing like old pros while still unable to speak intelligibly. This is the devil’s handiwork, I tell you. We’re still asking why—WHYYYYY did our eyes have to see this? Okay, okay, I confess....
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We usually keep my daughter’s bedroom door closed and secured with one of those babyproofing thingamajigs that you have to pinch to turn the door knob because my son, cute as he may be, is a wrecking machine. And a very FAST one at that. He can destroy a clean room in about five...
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An exchange in my house this evening… Me: *knocking on kitchen window* Daughter: *from another room* What’s that knocking sound? Me: It was me knocking on the window. I was trying to scare off that one tomcat with the big dangling balls. He’s on the porch eating the cat food again. Husband: You just know this is gonna...
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I don’t know what it is but a trip to the public library never fails to produce some story or anecdote and our most recent visit was no exception. I had taken P, now 21 months old, to story time at our local branch library. At first he wasn’t really into it, much preferring to...
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Or did I just make you laugh too hard? Ba dum dum! The mantra on the Labor and Delivery Postnatal floor of the hospital where I had my only vaginal delivery was “Do your Kegels!” I heard it several times a day from every single nurse and from my midwives at every postpartum checkup. Well…somewhere along...
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