Category: Family & Parenting
Where Mothers Fear to Tread

My son fell off a swingset yesterday. He fell not from the swing itself but from the crossbar that holds the frame together. Factoring in his own height, he fell about five feet and hit his head on the concrete so hard I could hear it. Just thinking about that moment makes my eyes burn. He had climbed up there […]

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My Parenting Book Deal Should Be Coming Any Day Now

I was woken up this morning with a tampon being waved in my face, unwrapped and thankfully, unused. I guess my son took a detour to the bathroom before coming to wake me up and demand “chocktick mook.” Can you decipher that? It’s chocolate milk. Yes, I’ve become one of those moms who gives their kid chocolate milk (Shut up! […]

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Note To Self No. 473

Dear Self, I know you are a very caring mom and when your son comes to you and speaks the words “boo boo”, you never hesitate to immediately give the afflicted area a kiss to make it all better. However, in the future? You should make darned sure he is saying “boo boo” when he presents an index finger to […]

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Where Did I Go Right?

Yesterday, after way too many days in a row at home, I decided the kids and I needed to get out of the house without the huz. Having all four family members up in each other’s grills since before Christmas was giving everyone a bad case of cabin fever.So newly acquired toys and other shiny new distractions be damned, I […]

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I’m Getting Him a Leash

Er…I meant a “child safety harness” — I wouldn’t want to get anyone’s panties in a wad by suggesting my son is something akin to a dog because I used the “L” word. Can you tell I’m feeling a little um…defensive about this topic? Honestly, I don’t understand why child safety harnesses OR leashes are such a freaking hot button […]

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My Very Own Mini Me

We usually keep my daughter’s bedroom door closed and secured with one of those babyproofing thingamajigs that you have to pinch to turn the door knob because my son, cute as he may be, is a wrecking machine. And a very FAST one at that. He can destroy a clean room in about five minutes on a good day. Unfortunately, […]

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Ta Ta for Now!

Tomorrow I take off for BlogHer and I’m pretty excited and a little nervous, too. I hope it’s as much fun as last year. Unfortunately, I’m not at all packed yet but I have done many other important things, like buy shoes! I did get some flats but not the ones I was referencing in my shoe post because by […]

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Notes to Self

Note to Self #1: The next time you think of trying on your pre-preggers jeans to see if you’ve made any progress (because while you have not lost ONE SINGLE POUND, they ARE getting looser) you might want to check the calendar and make sure it’s not the day before your period. It will save you vast amounts of frustration […]

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Some Unsolicited Advice For New Moms

Tonight I noticed someone did a Google image search that brought them to a photo of my son right after he was born which, by the way, really creeped me out. I clicked the link that led me to a post I wrote when my son turned one; a re-telling of his birth. As I read the post, I realized […]

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We’re a Fun Family!

An exchange in my house this evening… Me: *knocking on kitchen window* Daughter: *from another room* What’s that knocking sound? Me: It was me knocking on the window. I was trying to scare off that one tomcat with the big dangling balls. He’s on the porch eating the cat food again. Husband: You just know this is gonna be a […]

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Little Cavemen

On many occasions both before my son was born and when he was a baby, I mused aloud about how twisted it is that we give children, frequently boys, toy guns and other toys weapons to PLAY with. And of course, other mothers have consistently assured me that even when you shield your little boys from violence and guns etc. […]

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Imperfect but Proud

I know I’m not a perfect mom. Far from it, in fact. I yell at my kids sometimes; sometimes more than sometimes. I let them eat cereal and yogurt for dinner the other night. I let them watch plenty o’ TV. I look forward to bedtime with a fervor that is shameful and some days, despite my desire to be […]

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