Jun
06
5 yr old: Mommeeeee? Will you wipe my butt? I can’t wipe it like you do
Me: Why is that?
5 yr old: Because I might get poop on my hand
Me: *stifled giggle* Dude. That’s what soap and water are for
5 yr old: *indignant* Noooo…that’s for when your hands are dirty
Me: Um…I think having poop on your hands totally qualifies as “dirty”
5 yr old: Nuh uhhh
Me: Uh huhhh
5 yr old: NOOOO! Dirty is when you have dirt on your hands!
Me: So you don’t think you need to wash your hands with soap and water when they have poop on them?
5 yr old: YES I DO!
………..
HAAAA! See what I did there?
I should have been a trial lawyer.
Or a Jedi.
YES. I KNOW HE’S FIVE.
Whatever. It totally counts.
May
09
Every year on Mother’s Day, I struggle a little bit. I’m not sad or depressed but I have mixed feelings about this day.
After giving it some thought, I concluded that those feelings haven’t changed at all since I wrote about Mother’s Day 5 years ago so instead of trying to re-invent the proverbial wheel, I’ve pasted it in below. Get the whole story »
May
01
A couple days ago I took my son, daughter and my daughter’s friend to the movies. We went to a theater in our historic district which bears an uncanny resemblance to Bourbon St in New Orleans. There are bars, restaurants, nightclubs and shops all up and down 7th Ave, the main drag. I think the only thing missing are the booby bars every 100 yards.
During the day it’s pretty tame with mostly tourists and business people walking around, so as I searched for a parking spot on 7th Ave, I didn’t even stop to consider that my ten year old can now read or that 7th Ave isn’t the most kid-friendly spot in town.
While we were stopped at a light, I heard her say to her friend “Look! Look! Look at that sign.” Me being the nosy parent that I am, I turned to see what she was looking at. I saw nothing unusual so I asked her what she was talking about. She pointed to the window of popular gay club that was too far back for me to see.
“What? What does it say?”
Get the whole story »
Feb
24
Yesterday, after school, I took my daughter to a new dentist…a grown-up dentist. Apparently our insurance thinks when kids turn 10, pediatric dentists are a specialty they shouldn’t have to pay for anymore.
This office was weird. It was so…mature feeling. And having just been at my son’s pediatric dentist last week, the differences were glaring—no toys in the waiting room. No kids shows playing on a TV. No balloons or goody boxes.
The waiting room was finely appointed in a way not suited for kids, the magazines were definitely of the non-kid-friendly variety (I’m looking at YOU, Cosmopolitan and Sports Illustrated Annual Boobies and Swimsuits Issue) and it was quiet. So very quiet. Get the whole story »
Dec
02
After I picked the kids up from school, I made a stop at a charity thrift store to drop off some donations. Being that close to the doors of a thrift store, where all sorts of treasures lurk, I fought the urge to go inside but my fetish for Danish modern enamelware and the possibility that some might be in there waiting for me was more than I could resist—I fetched the children and headed for the door.
As we were approaching the door, a guy cleaning the glass outside also moved towards the entrance and stood alongside the opposite door, as if he were waiting to go in behind us. I thought nothing of it.
As I was stepping inside, I felt something wet hit my left eye and simultaneously go in my mouth. Get the whole story »
Nov
13
Ugh…today is a hard day and it’s only 10:45am.
It started last night with the huz and I talking about our ten year old daughter who is starting to ask questions about Santa Claus. Of course we want to be honest with her but 1) she asked when our five yr old was around, so we really couldn’t and 2) once you spill the beans about Santa, the whole house of cards will come tumbling down—Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny—all that magic will evaporate in an instant. I’m not ready for that.
And today, my daughter has her last cheer event of the season. They cheer at games until October and then they do competitions for a while and then the season is over. I’ve been a very involved cheer mom and so it was hard to put her in a car this morning with her team, knowing I won’t have any contact with her until after 7pm tonight. At the last competition, cheerleaders and parents weren’t totally separated all day but at this one we are and I hate it. I didn’t even get to hug her goodbye this morning. She was in the car doing something and then BAM…they were leaving. I told her I loved her and she’s like “Okay, bye mama” OUCH. Get the whole story »
An Open Letter to Google
Dear Friends at Google,
Why don’t you start a video sharing site just like YouTube…except for kids? So much of what’s on YouTube is way inappropriate for children (and that would be putting it mildly) and yet there it is, co-mingled with things that are fine for children.
I know you probably think it’s a parent’s job to keep their kids from watching inappropriate things on your esteemed video sharing site, and you wouldn’t be incorrect, but it’s just not as easy as it sounds. Get the whole story »