Oct
15
ME: So I’m at the airport and I bought Fifty Shades of Grey
FRIEND: No!
ME: What? I was bored and it’s a bestseller. How bad could it be?
FRIEND: It’s a creepy S&M book
ME: I know, I know. This is “viral buzz” working its evil magic on another unsuspecting reader
FRIEND: You’re gonna be all ‘Team Christian’
ME: Do I have a choice? Who else is there?
FRIEND: See? You’re already becoming submissive
ME: I didn’t even start reading it yet (thanks to the chatty stranger next to me)
FRIEND: Apparently Christian Grey’s powers of domination are just that strong
ME: shut your whore mouth! I’m the boss!
FRIEND: Oh yeah, you’re Tony Danza!
ME: I’m NOT Tony Danza. I’m Judith Light but with way better hair.
ME: So wait…why do people hate this book so much?
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Apr
30
My kids have had this toy keyboard for EVER and for as long as they’ve had it, I’ve been racking my brains trying to remember what this one song is. Nobody else has any idea what it is either and then one day I had this brainstorm to record it with my phone and put it on the internet because the internet knows all.
So without further ado, I give you “The Song Which May Never Be Identified” and I challenge you to name that tune!
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Jan
26
I love to watch retro commercials and look at old print ads because they consistently amaze (and sometimes amuse) me. See for yourself… Get the whole story »
Nov
08
I found this wrinkled, ripped up envelope, with what appears to be a shopping list for a party, in my front yard. How it got there and who these people are, I have no idea.
But clearly my name is not on the list—which is probably for the best because there appear to be more girls than boys as it is. It’s never fun to be the one of the sad, lonely few NOT making out with a boy *sigh*
ICE…BURR! (Yes, Virginia, ice really IS cold)
Well, I hope nobody got alcohol poisoning via the beer bong… (See also: Things only a mom would say)
Sep
24
The BEST word verification EVER.
