Category Archives: Commentary

Oct 01 14 comments
Blog, Commentary

Katy Does Sesame: Yet Another Opinion

So, as you’ve probably heard by now…Katy Perry taped a segment for Sesame Street, people complained and they scrapped it—all over the internet, people sounded off on the story.

I watched the clip on BlogHer.com while reading a post called “Katy Perry Cut From Sesame Street For Turning Moms On.” In said clip, Perry is wearing a strapless dress and yes, she shows a little cleavage but honestly, it’s hardly pornographic and she doesn’t do anything I would consider suggestive while singing a G-rated version of her song “Hot & Cold.”

But somehow, I’m still disturbed to see Perry on Sesame Street. I really wasn’t sure why although I can assure you that it’s NOT because she is turning me on, as suggested by the post on BlogHer.com.

After giving it some thought, I finally figured it out—

Perry invaded what I regard as a safe space; a place where kids can tune in and, unlike in the real world, there’s nothing inappropriate waiting to jump out and chip away at their innocence. Nobody gets beat up. Nobody gets shot. Nobody gets murdered. And nothing is sexualized.

There are very few places like that in the television realm but of those that exist, Sesame Street is pretty much the pinnacle and having her on there kind of spoils that for me.

The fact is, I can barely watch regular television with my kids around—if it isn’t the content of the actual show I’m watching, it’s the previews, trailers and ads for other shows that send me leaping for the remote— but I’m not going to launch into a big lecture about that. I think any reasonable, rational, responsible adult can agree that most of what’s on TV, regardless of the time of day, is not fit for young kids. Period.

And yes, I’ve acknowledged that Perry’s performance on Sesame Street was largely benign. BUT…there’s just something disturbing about having a woman who does this in her videos turn up on Sesame Street. Those two worlds should never collide. Ever.

My kids will grow up someday and then they can, if they so desire, watch a woman simulate ejaculation via whipped cream cans attached to her breasts while mimicking double-fisted oral sex, as much as they want.

But RIGHT NOW, one of my many important jobs is to let them have a childhood, to keep them from growing up too fast and according to Chris Rock, keep my daughter off the pole.

Having someone like Katy Perry invade my safe space interferes with that job—I don’t need someone who cannot even BEGIN to conceive of how hard it is to raise kids in today’s world getting in my way and making it any harder.

The verdict: Sesame Street used poor judgment in the first place but at least they had enough sense to rectify their misstep. To all the people that roll their eyes and say “You’d see more skin at the beach” you’re missing the point entirely.

Jul 05 16 comments
Blog, Commentary, Jackassery

The BP Oil Spill is Your Problem, Too

You know what happens when news coverage of a shocking topic is on 24-7 for months? People become numb to it. They get tired of hearing about it. They feel powerless. Any outrage they may have felt is replaced by resignation.

I know this because it’s how I feel about the “war on terror.” But that’s been going on for almost 10 years. I think indifference is to be expected after that long as there is only so much emotional browbeating people can take every single night on the news. That indifference is, IMO, a form of self-preservation because who can maintain a consistent sense of active outrage for ten years? Most people just can’t.

But the Gulf Oil Spill Disaster (yes, I capitalized it—it deserves to be capitalized) is merely months old and yes, even I have reached my saturation point on many occasions where I just had to retreat and stop thinking about it.

That said, I can, to some degree, understand the indifference I encounter on, say, Twitter when we tweet horrific things about #oilspill but it hurts my heart to see how many people are COMPLETELY detached from what’s going on out there.

This disaster is NOT going away anytime soon and the effects are not going to be limited to MY backyard. The entire world will eventually be affected by this so even if you think this is not your problem because you live in the middle of the country where there are no beaches or fishing industry or stunningly beautiful marine life, you are wrong—it is hurting people YOU know. It is hurting YOUR breathing air. It is hurting YOUR food supply. It is hurting YOUR country.

Again, I understand how easy it is to allow yourself to detach from the intensity of this situation. I really do. I’m guilty of it myself at times but I have to ask…WHERE IS THE COLLECTIVE OUTRAGE? Why are we not standing together AS A NATION and demanding the cover-ups and cost-cutting and responsbility-shirking and victim-blaming STOP? Because THOSE THINGS *ARE* GOING ON.

That’s not to say people aren’t doing anything. There have been a ton of people doing things to try and help but honestly, insofar as I can tell, nothing is going to truly get any better until we demand that our governmental agencies, BP and the media cut the crap—helping BP to cover this up serves nobody’s interests except theirs.

People are getting sick, wildlife is dying, poison “dispersants” are being dumped into OUR water, trained and qualified volunteers are not being allowed to help, respirators are being denied, insurance and loss claims are not being acknowledged and NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE.

Well—and this is where I get nasty—I’m sorry that you’re tired of hearing about this and I’m sorry it’s not as entertaining as, say, The Bachelorette but if you want reality programming…THIS IS IT, PEOPLE. Get off your couch potato asses and write a letter, make a phone call, tweet something, call your representatives, sign a f*cking petition, write a blog post expressing your disgust and outrage—assuming you can muster any up—but please, for the love of your flat screen television, don’t ignore it.

DO SOMETHING—because at some point, this will be YOUR problem, too.

And if you do nothing, you really are letting the “terrorists” (read: BP) win because OUR indifference and complacency is what they’re banking on.

/rant

If you want to hear a first-person civilian account of what BP has been up to for the past two months or so, watch these videos. Kindra Arnesen, a Louisiana resident and wife to a Gulf shrimp fisherman, was invited inside the BP machine and apparently they forgot to censor themselves in her presence because she saw and heard things that will shock you.  These were already covered by some major media outlets already last month but they speak volumes about where BP really stands on all of this and if you haven’t seen them, you need to.

The first video discusses worst case scenarios in the Gulf regarding hurricanes, acid rain etc. and it’s heavy stuff. The second video is Kindra Arnesen discussing her time as an insider at BP.  As noted, what she saw and heard is jaw dropping. PLEASE WATCH BOTH!

These are not ranty, conspiracy nut videos appearing on some left-wing fringe group’s site (as Fox News would have you believe). The web site on which they appear is just a convenient place to send you to see both videos. These have been covered by the mainstream media already (in June 2010). This is the real deal.

–

We have to do something but like everyone else, I feel largely helpless in the face of such unfathomable tragedy. One thing I DO know? The people living right on affected waterways in places like Louisiana are getting sick from breathing the benzene—and dispersants, I assume. They need to be moved away from there.

Donations to the Gulf Coast Oil Spill Fund will go, primarily, to help the fishermen and residents of the most affected parishes in Louisiana—Plaquemines, St. Bernard, lower Jefferson, Terrebonne, and Lafourche. Please make a donation—if 1 million people gave $10 each, it would do a world of good in helping the sickened residents and those who have lost their livelihoods to rebuild their lives.

If you know of any other reputable charities to help oil spill victims, please let me know.

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Just a few of the MANY petitions out there, if you care to sign…

Allow Media Access to Oil Spill Clean-Up

Hold Big Oil Accountable to Paying Full Price

Tell EPA: Take Away BP’s Billions in Federal Contracts

I could post links all day and not even come close to being done so I’ll stop here and get this up. Feel free to share must-see links to news, video, blog posts, petitions etc in the comments.

And I apologize for being so harsh up there. I’m frustrated. I hope you understand.

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If you would please TWEET, STUMBLE and DIGG this post, I would be eternally grateful!

Jul 01 9 comments
Blog, Commentary

Snippy Thoughts: Baby Edition

In chronological order…

Baby Bump - For the EFFINGLOVEOFGOD, it’s not a BUMP. It’s a baby and a belly and just…JUST STOP SAYING IT. Because it bothers me. A lot.

Push Presents – Um, newsflash—the BABY is the reward! But on the off chance that your new baby isn’t enough of a bonus for you, the long-term reward comes in about 25 years or so, when it becomes apparent, I HOPE, that instead of a soulless sociopath, you’ve raised a decent human being!

Boob Juice – If you know me at all, you know I’m a total supporter of breastfeeding and BF rights etc but seriously, calling it boob juice just makes my toes curl. I beg you…please stop impeding my ability to wear shoes.

Huggies Faux Denim Diapers - Okay, I admit they’re kind of cute in their own silly way but they beg the question… were you planning on taking your baby out in just a diaper? No pants or bloomers? No diaper cover? Because that’s the only way anyone is going to see the faux denim diapers and I have a thing about babies going around in their diapers. I mean, do YOU go around in nothing but your underwear? And then poop in them?

Your Baby Can Read! – Okay, first of all, those kids in the commercial are not babies. Second of all, stop being show-offs, people. The rest of us who had to  raise our kids without Your Baby Can Read already feel bad enough that our kids are just, you know, REGULAR smart, as opposed to WEIRD CHILD PRODIGY smart.

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Latest Post: BULLETIN: The BP Oil Spill is Your Problem, Too

Jun 25 9 comments
Blog, Commentary, Family & Parenting

Besties or Groupsies?

bestfriendsShould Adults Be Tinkering with Kids’ Friendships?

I just read an interesting post today on Blogher about kids and best friends. In a nutshell, some don’t think it’s healthy for kids to have strong friendships with one person or, I suppose, a limited number of people and that adults (teachers, camp counselors etc) should intervene (by separating them) and encourage more group interaction.

On one hand, I understand this. My daughter, who is almost ten, has always had a small coterie of BFF’s (depends on the week which one is THE BESTEST) but these friendships are very important to her and can be rather intense at times, especially as they start to get older.  I always encourage her to make multiple friends in her classes each year because you know, putting all your eggs in one basket can lead to disappointment in a numerous ways, but alas, she doesn’t listen. She’d rather have a lesser amount of really good friends than a stable of “meh” friends. While I totally get this, I still can’t help but occasionally encourage her to be more group-oriented. It just seems more sensible, even though, at heart, I know it’s not her thing.

She and I are are, in many ways, cut from the same cloth. I, too, prefer a few really good friends to a group of “meh” friends. I like knowing that my besties are trustworthy and we are always there for each other, rain or shine. You just can’t say that about a group of people that you haven’t totally bonded with over tears and confidences and private jokes that don’t make sense to anyone else. My dearest friends make me feel secure and loved and we always have each other’s backs. You just can’t get that from a larger group, especially not a group of females (no offense to my gender but seriously, groups of women are just… *shudder* Do I really have to explain?) My nearly lifelong BFF and I have been through all kinds of stuff together, good and bad, and trust me, no group of people could ever trump 32 years of one-on-one friendship.

That said, I’m not so sure that forcing kids, especially girls, away from their closest friends, and into group-oriented situations, is such a good idea. Not everyone is cut out for that and some people just don’t dig groups and the resulting group dynamics *raises hand* And regardless of whether you hire a “friendship coach” (yes, you read correctly) introverts (and/or those who simply prefer quality over quantity) will never become extroverts and nor should they have to—because really, how much would the world suck if we were all exactly the same?

Ultimately, we can advise them, we can guide them and we can try to get kids to have more than one BEST friendship but I think that’s where it needs to stop.

I say let kids choose how they want to roll—a few close friends or a ton of acquaintances—they’re going to gravitate to their comfort zone and we should respect that. I know if I was forced to do the big group thing on a daily basis with a bunch of women (and believe me, I have—groups of men are far preferable) I would ultimately be miserable and I would hate to think that, in the name of “helping” we end up making kids miserable, too.

Apr 09 24 comments
Blog, Character Flaws, Commentary, Personal

The Truth MAY Set Me Free. Or It Might Just Make People Hate My Guts.

Can you even imagine being 100% honest ALL THE TIME?

It’s been reported that 93% of Americans surveyed admit to lying on a regular basis.

And yes, I lie, too.

I lie about why I’m late picking my kids up from school; or why I haven’t returned phone calls from someone I really don’t want to talk to; or what I think of a friend’s unflattering new haircut; or why I’ve not gotten my cat’s shots updated in two years—I’VE BEEN REALLY SELF-ABSORBED BUSY, DAMMIT!

DON’T JUDGE (you know you do it, too)

Now picture yourself NEVER telling any lies at all—no white lies; no half truths; no sparing someone’s feelings; no little fibs to make yourself look better—or less bad.

This is the premise behind Radical Honesty. No lies. Ever.

Most of the time, we don’t lie to deceive others so much as we do it out of fear that we will lose something…be it love or respect or status or control or any number of other things we simply DON’T want to lose.

Of course, sometimes we DO lie specifically to deceive but it still, oftentimes, comes back to preserving or stopping the loss something important to us.

So. Could you stop lying, say, right now?

Every time I think about pursuing a life of Radical Honesty, I respond like a junkie—it’s going to be hard. And unpleasant. I’ll quit tomorrow.

I know for me, one of the hardest things about Radical Honesty would involve being honest about letting people know how I feel about something they have done or said that has upset me, or offended me or just plain pissed me off.

Women are socialized to be nice, to not rock the boat too much and to generally strive for harmony; being liked by others is most important.

Those things do not mesh well with being radically honest and thus, women tend to not let others know what they’re really thinking or feeling.

Instead we act angry or behave passive-aggressively but when the person with whom we are upset asks us if there is a problem and we often respond with faux innocence and perhaps a little shock.

“What? Nooooo! I’m not mad at you” except they really are and frequently, everyone else knows why EXCEPT  the person they are upset with.

This is a generalization and of course, every situation will vary to a certain degree but this is classic female social behavior. Instead of confronting the source of our ire, we claim everything is fine while we seethe, brew and talk about the situation with everyone BUT that person.

Why? Because we are not raised to be honest. We’re raised to be nice. We’re not comfortable saying “Hey, I resent that” or “I think you’re wrong” or “You hurt my feelings” or any other expression that isn’t “nice” because being “not nice” = being potentially “not liked”.

I know there times, nearly every day of my life, that I’d like to call someone on something that they’ve done or said but I don’t. I don’t want to provoke anyone. I don’t want them to do what I would fully expect them to do which is listen to what I have to say and then go and tell everyone I’m a bitch and organize some kind of ridiculous campaign against me because I’ve broken the cardinal rule of being female and was honest instead of nice. It happened in 7th grade when I was honest about something and insofar as I can tell, things haven’t changed much. We women still act a lot like 7th graders.

But ohhh if we COULD be honest without fear of loss or retribution… Imagine how freeing it would be to say what you feel and mean what you say. Yes, people’s feelings will sometimes be hurt. And sometimes people will be shocked or angry but honestly, I think I’d rather deal with the truth and all that comes with it, then deal with the landmines and bullshit that come with untruths any day. Can someone REALLY fault someone else for being truthful?

I wouldn’t go so far as to say men are more honest than women but I do think men are much more free to be honest with each other and if bad feelings result, it’s usually resolved quickly and they move on.

Does this mean men never lie? No, of course not. *coughtigerwoodscough* *coughgeorgewbushcough* But they’re not socialized to choose harmony over honesty and I do envy that.

So…I’m still pondering Radical Honesty as a way of life—but something tells me I would have to preface EVERY conversation with a reminder that I’m no longer pulling any punches because the idea of hurting someone’s feelings is extremely disturbing to me and I would want them to understand before I say anything that it’s not my intention, but rather a potential side effect of the NEW! ME!

What do you think? Is Radical Honesty something you would every consider?

Anyone up for a Radical Honesty challenge?

—

This article was the inspiration for this post and I’m considering buying this book. Or at least checking it  out from the library. And in the interest of honesty, that’s an Amazon affiliate link.

NOTE: I will NOT be attending any Radical Honesty seminars or what have you, because, honestly, I hate stuff like that.

Mar 08 31 comments
Blog, Commentary

Really, Like, Deep Thoughts on Marriage…

I recently wrote this post over at Aiming Low today about the things men do that will cause them to NOT get sex and while I was writing it, it got me thinking about marriage.

I got married in my mid-twenties. We were madly in love and you know..it was all going to be sunshine and rainbows and good times.

Of course, the honeymoon doesn’t last forever and neither did the sunshine and rainbows but overall, it hasn’t been a bad ride. However, I’ve always wondered what exactly it is that makes that initial WOW factor fade, for most couples, shortly after settling into marriage.

If you ask a scientist, they’ll tell you it’s all chemical.

If you ask a sex therapist or marriage counselor, they’ll tell you that the novelty of romance can’t last without a lot of work.

I do agree with both of those but if you ask me, it’s the way WE ALL regard marriage that is the biggest buzzkill of all.

I mean think about it…

A man gets married and he has to have a bachelor party to mourn his impending nuptials and the fact that, theoretically, he won’t be having sex with any other women ever again. Way to support your friend in one of the biggest decisions he will ever make, guys! THANKS.

Then there are the euphemisms… Men stop calling us their girlfriends or anything even remotely cute or fun and start referring to us as “the wife.” It’s a total cliché and I HATE IT.

I am not “the wife.” And Christ on a crutch….I’m sure as hell not “the old ball and chain” If a man thinks that about the woman HE chose to marry then WHY did he marry her?

And then there are the ways that married people make marriage appear really lame and uncool and give endless amounts of fodder to sitcom writers…

The stuff-naming… Holy mother of all things good and decent—please, married people, do NOT give cutesy names to your stuff. This really DOES make marriage look like the stupidest institution ever.

Dude, they got married and suddenly all their stuff has these dumb names. WTH? <– What your single friends are saying behind your back.

I know people that have named their cars, their boat trailer and probably the husband’s  penis, as well. I’m asking nicely that you not do this. Really. Just don’t.

Another one that I don’t like because is on message boards, blogs and forums, women refer to their husband as their DH. I think it means their Dear Husband. Or Darling Husband. Whatever. It’s goofy and dorky and just adds another layer of stupidness to the way society thinks of married people…like we go around referring to each other as DH’s and DW’s. Ugh. DONOTLIKE.

When my husband refers to me to his friends, he usually says “my girl” i.e. “No, my girl hates sushi…how about Thai or Indian instead?”

And for this? I am eternally grateful.

In return, I refrain from saying things like “My hubby” which always reminds me of Chubby Hubby ice cream and has to be the most horrible husband reference ever invented.

And? Totally NOT conducive to thinking of your man as that hot number you married X years ago. He’s now HUBBY. Yickkkkkkk.

Now, to be clear, I’m no expert on marriage and maybe, BEYOND ALL REASON, you find all that stuff super hot and romantical.

If you do, GREAT!  Please disregard this post and go on with your bad self. I promise not make fun of you for saying “hubby” or naming your stuff…

Oh, who am I  kidding?

I probably will.

Dec 11 27 comments
Blog, Incessant Whining, Jackassery, LOL

Dear Craigslist People

Dear Craigslist People,

I know you turn to Craigslist to find a bargain (unless you’re one of those jackasses that posts nekkid pix of yourself from your Grandma’s bathroom…the crocheted poodle toilet paper cover is a dead giveaway, just in case you were wondering how I knew you were at your Grandma’s house perving it up in her bathroom. Also, FYI, pictures taken in your nasty bedroom with the Whitesnake poster on the wall OR a Spongebob blanky anywhere in sight? NOT HOT )

Anyway, I know you folks want to save a few bucks so you look around on Craigslist but seriously, you need to KNOW a few things…

If I’m selling 60 pieces of name-brand girls clothing, all in excellent condition and I’m only asking $20, which, for the math-impaired, is 33¢ an item, I’m NOT taking pictures of every single item and I’m NOT going to answer stupid questions about every item and I’m NOT going to sell it to you for five freaking dollars—especially when I know your cheap, sorry ass is probably going to turn around and sell it on eBay anyway. Which is fine. I hate eBay so better you than me. But I’d give it to Goodwill before I’d let you have it for that—go buy it from them. I mean really…have you NO shame? I’d be embarrassed to ask people to give me a SEVENTY FIVE PERCENT price break…

The same goes for the Little Tikes Craftsmen Tool Bench. Dude…it’s in mint condition and I’m asking twenty dollars for it. Do NOT send me an email asking if I’ll take five for it.  Is there anything in my listing that says this is “Let’s Make a Really Bad (for me) Deal?” If you seriously can’t afford more than five bucks, maybe you should SELL YOUR COMPUTER (I’ll give you five bucks for it) and get rid of your internet service instead of lowballing people on Craigslist all day long.

And finally, for all you asswipes that bug the living crap out of me and beg me to not sell my stuff to someone else and then don’t show up… I wish you a scorching case of herpes with a nice sprinkling of genital warts. I mean you clearly have a phone, since you called me 17 times to make sure I hadn’t sold the item(s) you so desperately wanted. How about picking up said phone and letting me know you won’t be coming? I might even be nice and understanding and NOT wish you a lifetime of oozing blisters and weird bumpy things on your nether regions. But if you offer me five dollars? All bets are off.

As ever,
IzzyMom