Category: Jackassery
Hatelists: Everyone Should Make One

Don’t you sometimes just want to write a list of all the things/people you hate, piss you off or just plain annoy you? I do. But then I’m all “Oh, but that’s so negative. I don’t want to be THAT person…all I HATE THIS and I HATE THAT!” And then I hate myself for being so wimpy and spineless because […]

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Facebook Friend Request FAIL

Why do people turn into such buttheads when they become famous? Someone I knew fairly well years ago went on to become a big fish in his particular pond and on more than one occasion, I have been standing within feet of him, within HEY-I-TOTALLY-KNOW-YOU distance and not a single word of acknowledgment from him. Of course, I must seem […]

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Can We Play Security Checkpoint Again, Mommy?

Just in case your family can’t get enough of the good times had at American airports these days, PlayMobil has two new toys that will allow your kids to relive those super fun airport security searches whenever they want. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the most ridiculous toys of the year thus far… Playmobil Security Checkpoint (ages 4-7) and […]

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You Shouldn’t Taunt Crazy People

Oh. Mygod. I have to blog about this demented, idiotic woman that I encountered today, if only to be vindicated by the very smart and attractive people of the internet. I’ll try to keep it brief (although it bears repeating that brevity has never been my strong suit.) Okay, so I’m driving down a neighborhood street and on the opposite […]

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Have We Learned Nothing from Britney?

Um yeah, it’s me…weighing in on the already somewhat yawnworthy topic of Miley Cyrus’ photos in Vanity Fair because the world really NEEDS one more opinion on the matter. Simply put, I think the photos were inappropriate for a fifteen year old girl. Really, the one with her dad kind of made my skin crawl. They really looked more like […]

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The Free Ride is Over, Mama

In a recent discussion with my mother-in-law, I lamented over the fact that her late husband told us he’d set up a pre-paid college plan for my daughter but as it happens, he didn’t. It’s put us way behind in saving for college. And yes, I’m kind of irritated. Now as in-laws go, I could have done worse and for […]

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Instant Karma

Do you believe in karma? I do. But until tonight I’m not sure I would have said I believe in INSTANT karma. See, I have this neighbor with a pool and this morning as I was sitting out on the back porch enjoying some coffee and reading a magazine while I had the whole, peaceful house to myself, I started […]

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I Want Something Better

(I’m going to try to keep this from getting too lengthy but if you’re a regular here, you probably know that’s near impossible for me so I’ll just apologize in advance for any long-windedness.) The topic at hand today is Bratz dolls. Well, no. It really isn’t Bratz dolls so much. It’s more about how our society has become so […]

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Just What Your First Grader Needs… A Padded Bra

Get your barf bags ready, people. The braintrust that brought the world Bratz dollz are at it again… Bratz Twin Babyz Lingerie Dollz Phoebe “Sugar” is described as “sweet and mild” and dressed in a fluffy pink jacket with pink and black underwear, while Roxxi “Spice” is described at ‘wild and spicy” and has an open fake leather jacket and […]

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Let My Kid be a Kid, Dammit!

While I’m pretty easygoing about a lot of things, anyone who has read my blog for a while knows I have a few, uh, issues that consistently raise my hackles. One of them is how the world has no regard for the fact that I am raising a CHILD. A child that I want to REMAIN a child for a […]

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How to Make My Head Explode

A conversation with the pediatrician’s nurse yesterday… Nurse: Here are his percentiles (handing me a sheet with my son’s height, weight, head size and corresponding percentiles for his 9 month check up) Me: Are these the percentiles based on a 9 month old? Because he’s over 10 months now. He was sick twice when he was 9 months so we’re […]

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A Tale of Two Balls

When my husband and I bought our first house, I kept noticing this weird smell around the toilet in the master bathroom. It was familiar but I couldn’t quite place it. Until one day when I realized the smell was that of sweaty balls. Yes. You read correctly. The toilet had one of those plasticky toilet seats and we had […]

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