Category: Jackassery
Frenemies and Other Lame Things

Well, the world didn’t end on 12-21-2012, which is good. But then again, we have the Korean krazypants, Kim Jong Un, making threats and pointing his nukes at everyone so maybe I shouldn’t get too happy just yet, huh? Right now, I should really be writing out my thoughts and feelings in the form of a letter (that I won’t […]

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Should I Be Christmas Shopping or Doomsday Prepping?

Ugh. I don’t know what’s wrong got me so down but I have less than zero holiday spirit this season. Usually, I love Christmas and decorate the shit out of my house and bake cookies and do all that other Martha Stewart-y stuff  that I eschew the rest of the year. But this year, I just can’t muster the required […]

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Selling a Car is SO MUCH FUN

OMG…last night these people came to look at a car we’re selling and they TOOK MY KEYS with them. I realized it this morning when I couldn’t find them so I call the guy and I’m like “Hi, you came to look at our car last night. Do you have my keys?” and he’s like “Yes, I have them” Um…OKAY. […]

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Why Buy the Cow When You Can Get the Opinions for Free?

This is a paraphrased and slightly embellished version of a conversation I recently had with a phone survey person. ••• Phone Solicitor: Hi, I’m calling from Company XYZ. This is a survey. We’d like your opinions on (insert product, service or industry here) and it will take about 10-15 minutes. If you’re… Me: You want me to take a TEN […]

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What the Real Mad Men Were Up To…
That's What Wives Are For!

I love to watch retro commercials and look at old print ads because they consistently amaze (and sometimes amuse) me. See for yourself…

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Shame on YOU, Target

Obviously, criticizing this ad would have been more relevant before Halloween (and YES,  I may have been the last person in North America to see it) but regardless, I think it was really crappy and mean-spirited of Target to: a) make kids feel bad about homemade costumes b) make moms who take their time, energy and creativity to craft a […]

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The BP Oil Spill is Your Problem, Too

You know what happens when news coverage of a shocking topic is on 24-7 for months? People become numb to it. They get tired of hearing about it. They feel powerless. Any outrage they may have felt is replaced by resignation. I know this because it’s how I feel about the “war on terror.” But that’s been going on for […]

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Dear Craigslist People

Dear Craigslist People, I know you turn to Craigslist to find a bargain (unless you’re one of those jackasses that posts nekkid pix of yourself from your Grandma’s bathroom…the crocheted poodle toilet paper cover is a dead giveaway, just in case you were wondering how I knew you were at your Grandma’s house perving it up in her bathroom. Also, […]

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What Kind of an Idiot Thinks This is Okay?

Ahhh…it’s that time of year again. Time for witches and ghosts and goblins and of course, the trashy, slutty costumes for little girls that make my blood boil. But…I’ve railed about those plenty in the past. Everyone who gets mail probably already knows of a certain national party store chain that carries an assortment of inappropriate costumes for elementary aged […]

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Me vs. The Giant Corporation

I have two kids and in the three years that we’ve had On-Demand movies with our Verizon fiber optic cable, it’s made me incredibly lazy in that I have no need to drive to Blockbuster and rent movies anymore. I just flip to the On-Demand menu and find whatever it is we want to watch. This is great when it’s […]

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Thanks for Nothing, Big Corporate Robber Barons

Okay, I finally got up the nerve to make the appointment for Asscam 09 (tomorrow & I’m terrified) only to find out that since it’s a diagnostic asscam instead of a screening asscam, it’s going to cost me a $300 copay because, inexplicably, it’s considered an outpatient SURGERY. Seriously? The woman from the insurance company says it’s because they invade […]

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Mean Girls Suck

Every summer my daughter goes to day camp. She absolutely loves it and looks forward to it all year long. This year, the camp has started having theme days which are kind of like spirit days at school. Recently, the theme was superheroes and princesses and N was pretty psyched about it. As princess and superhero day approached, however, I […]

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