ME: So I’m at the airport and I bought Fifty Shades of Grey
ME: What? I was bored and it’s a bestseller. How bad could it be?
FRIEND: It’s a creepy S&M book
ME: I know, I know. This is “viral buzz” working its evil magic on another unsuspecting reader
FRIEND: You’re gonna be all ‘Team Christian’
ME: Do I have a choice? Who else is there?
FRIEND: See? You’re already becoming submissive
ME: I didn’t even start reading it yet (thanks to the chatty stranger next to me)
FRIEND: Apparently Christian Grey’s powers of domination are just that strong
ME: shut your whore mouth! I’m the boss!
FRIEND: Oh yeah, you’re Tony Danza!
ME: I’m NOT Tony Danza. I’m Judith Light but with way better hair.
ME: So wait…why do people hate this book so much?