Should I Be Christmas Shopping or Doomsday Prepping?

Posted by on December 11, 2012

Ugh.

I don’t know what’s wrong got me so down but I have less than zero holiday spirit this season. Usually, I love Christmas and decorate the shit out of my house and bake cookies and do all that other Martha Stewart-y stuff  that I eschew the rest of the year.

But this year, I just can’t muster the required JOY! to make all those things happen and I’m even feeling a wee bit resentful that I have to participate at all.

Exhibit A:

We’re supposed to decorate our tree tonight and I’m all “Can I just lay here on the couch and read my book?”

Exhibit B:

I have told everyone to not get me anything. I don’t want to get (or give, really) any gifts  and in the interest of avoiding  any further exposure to the soul-eating holiday industrial complex,  I’m doing 99% of my shopping online.

Exhibit C:

The sound of Christmas music is  grating on my last nerve. It started in CVS  the second Halloween ended and now I can’t get away from it! I don’t want to hear ANY songs about snowmen or sitting by fires or winter wonderlands. It’s 79 here today and there are mosquitoes outside. IN DECEMBER. Who can get excited about Christmas when they’re wearing flip flops and bug spray?

Exhibit D:

It might sound nuts but the whole 12-21-12 thing has me a little freaked out. Plus it’s hard to get excited about a holiday that leaves me a lot poorer than I started and in return, the ungrateful owner of a bunch of stuff I don’t need, want or have room for (side-eyeing my mother-in-law, who keeps buying me placemats and shawls—Shawls? WTH? It’s not 1975—when I really want things like rain barrels and crossbows and big cans of dehydrated food that will last 10 years.

Okay, maybe I’m exaggerating a bit but really, if anyone ever decided to inquire as to what I would like, I’d ask for some really practical emergency-preparedness gear.

WHAT?!

Stop looking at me like I’ve watched one too many episodes of Doomsday Preppers! We have hurricanes here and being prepared for any kind of disaster or cataclysm is the smart thing to do and will insure that absolutely nothing happens on 12-21 because there’s that universal law where bad things never happen when you expect them and are ready for them.

See? I’m just trying to outsmart the universe. That’s not crazy at all, right?

Anyhoo… if you were planning on getting me a little something for the holidays, I would NOT react like a total ingrate brat if I were to receive a new first aid kit or some water purification tablets…or if you’re feeling extra generous, a solar generator would be awesome :)

•••

So how are you feeling about the holidays this year? Have you given the whole doomsday scenario any consideration or are you  one of those lucky people who aren’t thinking about it at all?

 


14 Comments

  • Michele says:

    My mother-in-law called my husband and asked what I wanted for Christmas. (Danger!Danger!) But he told her I was trying to build emergency supplies (we actually live where the seasons are earthquake, fire, rain, mudslides) on a very small budget. She just sent a bucket of 70 dehydrated meals, and chlorine water purification drops. In 14 years of marriage it is the best present my MIL every got me. And I cannot believe she listened to him (and he listened to me!).

  • Shanna says:

    I asked my husband for a rain barrel and a big box of MREs. After watching what Sandy did to people and how long it took to get help, I decided I never wanted to depend on anyone to save me and my family. You’re not crazy to plan ahead!

  • summer says:

    Do you live in FL? I’m near Jacksonville and I frickin HEAR YOU. I’m so over this shit. And THIS year, because last year I threw down some ridic gauntlet about our handmedown one thousand year old artificial tree and we gave it away, we had to buy a tree. OUUUUCHHH. So no, I do not want anything for Christmas and no, I do not want my kids to get ANY MORE SHIT that I have to step on/over/wade through for the next 12 months until I can convince them that purging it is the only way they will get a visit from Santa.

    BAH.

    We have a hand pump for our wells (we live six families in a row, my family does) so we’re good on water and we’ve got a few MREs and a bunch of dehydrated gluten free meat sub stuff. Each year I do the rubbermaid bin rotation of canned food and shelf stable milk. Plus we have our little backpacks, one per person. No doomsday prepping here though unless you count our safe full of guns.

    MEERRRYYYY CHRISTMAS! LET’S GO BUY SOME STUFF. GAH.

    • IzzyMom says:

      I do not want my kids to get ANY MORE SHIT that I have to step on/over/wade through for the next 12 months until I can convince them that purging it is the only way…

      That statement says it all!

      And I’m envious of your well :)

  • I hear ya. Every year Christmas comes and I brace myself the same way I do when I sneeze.

  • Anissa says:

    I feel ya! When we lived in Fl it seemed impossible to get Christmas-y when it feels like freaking May. Uggg!

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    Duude. I feel you. I’ve been decorating bits at a time trying to get over the fact that I haven’t put candy in our nifty little advent calendar that’s sitting neglected on the wall. I resent walking around the video game-playing kid trying to unearth mounds of decorations I’ve packed away, so I can place them about. It took an hour to put the lights on the tree while everyone puttered about doing what they always do, which is not contribute. Then, I break out the passive-aggressive jabs….Good times.

  • vicky says:

    I said I wanted biker boots but I would go fuckin insane with joy if my husband got me a crossbow. Or even signed me up for archery. I was good back in the day. I’m feeling the need to pick it back up.

  • I am so WITH YOU on all of this. Except maybe the 12/12/12 thing. I didn’t get the whole thing although my kids found it very fascinating!

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