This is a paraphrased and slightly embellished version of a conversation I recently had with a phone survey person. ••• Phone Solicitor: Hi, I’m calling from Company XYZ. This is a survey. We’d like your opinions on (insert product, service or industry here) and it will take about 10-15 minutes. If you’re… Me: You want [...]
Monthly Archives: May 2011
May 19
Is It Just Me?
Now, I don’t know what this says about me that I see ANUS MILE instead of A NU SMILE but I can tell you this much—I don’t have an anus fixation. In fact, I seriously can’t stand when someone says they’re “anal” when they really mean anal retentive…
May 13
Josh
You know…sometimes you just want to write about stupid shit and you really wish you could because you don’t want to think about your friend Josh, who just spent six weeks in a psychiatric hospital after the men in the white coats came and took him away because he lost his mind doing bath salts. [...]
May 10
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Potluck Favorites
I’m one of those people who likes the idea of cooking more than I like the actual execution of it, which is to say…I do it somewhat begrudgingly. My husband, who I suspect is just happy to have something to eat, insists that I’m actually not a bad cook and everything I cook is awesome. [...]
May 09
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Motherless Day Redux
Every year on Mother’s Day, I struggle a little bit. I’m not sad or depressed but I have mixed feelings about this day. After giving it some thought, I concluded that those feelings haven’t changed at all since I wrote about Mother’s Day 5 years ago so instead of trying to re-invent the proverbial wheel, [...]
May 01
S-E-X
A couple days ago I took my son, daughter and my daughter’s friend to the movies. We went to a theater in our historic district which bears an uncanny resemblance to Bourbon St in New Orleans. There are bars, restaurants, nightclubs and shops all up and down 7th Ave, the main drag. I think the [...]
