30 Days of Truth – Something I Hate About Myself

Posted by on October 26, 2010

I know some people that couldn’t come up with ONE thing they hate about themselves. I, on the other hand, have a list as long as my arm.

Oh, how I wish I could be one of those people.

And I think that statement pretty much sums it all up. I hate that I’ve spent my whole life wishing I was someone else. I hate that there are so many things I wish I could change about myself.

Actually, I’m not sure what I hate more…the wishing I could just accept myself or the things I wish I could change. Maybe it all just falls under the same umbrella…

I hate that I’m an introvert. I hate that I’m not boisterous and outgoing. I hate that I’m always lost in my thoughts. I hate that I’m sensitive and care too much. I hate that I have to get to know someone on a one-to-one basis before I can be truly comfortable with them. I hate that I don’t enjoy the spotlight. I hate that I don’t like throwing parties. I hate that I don’t extend myself to people because I naturally assume they don’t care to know me. I hate that I don’t know how to let myself shine.

But more than anything, I hate that I can’t be anything but who I am, that I can’t change any of these things, that they are hardwired into me and always will be.

It’s been foreverrrrr since I’ve done a meme.

To be honest (heh) I think I *may* have even gone through a phase after my first year of blogging where I thought I was too cool for a meme, that they were for newbies and people who were unable to come up with their own content.

Well, I stand corrected. I’m SO not a newbie ;p

This meme, 30 Days of Truth, for whatever reason, really makes me want to play along—something about giving yourself permission to be completely honest is very compelling.

So…I may not do every one on the list but I’m going to try.

The 30 days are listed below should you want to be uncool along with me :)

Day 01 Something you hate about yourself.
Day 02 Something you love about yourself.
Day 03 Something you have to forgive yourself for.
Day 04 Something you have to forgive someone for.
Day 05 Something you hope to do in your life.
Day 06 Something you hope you never have to do.
Day 07 Someone who has made your life worth living for.
Day 08 Someone who made your life hell, or treated you like shit.
Day 09 Someone you didn’t want to let go, but just drifted.
Day 10 Someone you need to let go, or wish you didn’t know.
Day 11  Something people seem to compliment you the most on.
Day 12  Something you never get compliments on.
Day 13  A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days. (write a letter.)
Day 14 A hero that has let you down. (letter)
Day 15 Something or someone you couldn’t live without, because you’ve tried living without it.
Day 16 Someone or something you definitely could live without.
Day 17  A book you’ve read that changed your views on something.
Day 18 Your views on gay marriage.
Day 19 What do you think of religion? Or what do you think of politics?
Day 20 Your views on drugs and alcohol.
Day 21  (scenario) Your best friend is in a car accident and you two got into a fight an hour before. What do you do?
Day 22 Something you wish you hadn’t done in your life.
Day 23 Something you wish you had done in your life.
Day 24 Make a playlist to someone, and explain why you chose all the songs. (Just post the titles and artists and letter)
Day 25 The reason you believe you’re still alive today.
Day 26 Have you ever thought about giving up on life? If so, when and why?
Day 27 What’s the best thing going for you right now?
Day 28 What if you were pregnant or got someone pregnant, what would you do?
Day 29 Something you hope to change about yourself. And why.
Day 30 A letter to yourself, tell yourself EVERYTHING you love about yourself


20 Comments

  • briya says:

    But guess what? I LIKE you for who are. Flaws (real and imagined) and all.

    • IzzyMom says:

      You know, it really touches my stupid, oversensitive heart that you said that. But part of being who I am also means that I brush off every kindness and think that people just say nice things to make me feel better because I’m obviously pathetic. Nonetheless, I thank you, Briya {{hugs}}

  • Trav1sty says:

    Being someone else wouldn’t make you happy. It’s the illusion of something different, better. It’s the whole grass is greener paradigm.

    That being said, I agree with Briya. We <3 you just the way you are.

  • Those things may be hardwired into you, but we can change things about ourselves and become more comfortable, and therefore happier, with who we are.

    I’m not an introvert, but I’m not comfortable at networking events either where the point is to get to know people you don’t know. Yesterday I went to a business one, which was pretty important in the scheme of my career, and for the first time stayed, mingled, introduced myself to people even though I don’t normally mingle that well. I had a great time. So even though I feel like I’m a lousy networker, when I push myself out of my comfort zone I find that I’m probably wrong about that.

    I think you’re pretty cool and I’ve never even met you. So!

    • IzzyMom says:

      I’m actually not bad at meeting strangers—I can be “on” for a while and really work it if I need to but it absolutely exhausts me (true sign of an introvert!) and I start to get itchy to leave (unless I’m drinking, in which case, I will charm your pants off and end up doing something semi-stupid before it’s all over)

  • Mavis Hayes says:

    Many of us feel the same way. Yet it is our choice to remain feeling like that or doing something about it so we don’t have to feel that way over and over again. Nonetheless, people around us especially our family loves us for who we are. We are precious ones in their sight. Just first love yourself and after that you’ll feel loved :) Big hugs for you!♥

    • IzzyMom says:

      I think the only thing I can change, in my case, is how I feel about these things. The rest is just part of my DNA. But I’m always working on it! Thanks for your kind, supportive words :)

  • Congrats on undertaking the task of 30 days of truth. Sometimes one day of truth is more than I can handle! Ha. Since I’m a newbie, I haven’t done any memes yet. This one intrigued me from the get-go & I’ve enjoyed reading everyone’s different takes on each day. Yours practically mirrors what I would say. It shocks me that you have that many things you don’t like about yourself because from the outside looking in at you, you look SO TOGETHER & sure of yourself and like you could handle most things with ease. I am even jealous that you have mastered the illusion of making it appear that way to others! Lol ;-) I often feel like people can see all my insecurities and flaws.

    This meme is a great way of pulling back the curtain and giving others a peek into the real you. I can’t wait to read the rest of your revelations!

    • IzzyMom says:

      Well, they’re all just parts of the one big thing I hate, really. I’m just very detail-oriented lol

      I actually can handle myself in pretty much any situation but you know, on the inside I’m worried about how I’m being perceived, are my flaws and insecurities showing? etc etc etc. Same as you!

  • Jack says:

    I hate that it is so very easy for me to come up with a list of things. But I have to admit that some of the things that I hate are things I have come to accept.

    So what I really want to figure out is whether I am accepting something that I can change/improve (settling) or if it is something that cannot be helped.

    • IzzyMom says:

      I think that’s one of those unanswerable questions because it seems like if you really hated something and you could change it, you would. But OTOH, some things really just are a part of us to the core—like me being an introvert—and we can only change how we feel about it. I think the important thing is not confusing acceptance with resignation.

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    You. Stop. That. :)

  • “I hate that I’m an introvert. I hate that I’m not boisterous and outgoing. I hate that I’m always lost in my thoughts. I hate that I’m sensitive and care too much. I hate that I have to get to know someone on a one-to-one basis before I can be truly comfortable with them. I hate that I don’t enjoy the spotlight. I hate that I don’t like throwing parties. I hate that I don’t extend myself to people because I naturally assume they don’t care to know me. I hate that I don’t know how to let myself shine.”

    I could have written that! Especially the bit about assuming people don’t want to know me.

    It’s a tough thing to overcome when it’s so much self-talk. I can force myself to do things, but feel like a fake while I am.

    I like this meme and I think I may do it.

    • linda marie says:

      I just found this blog, because for the last few years I have been denying to myself, I am a wife and a mom. I did all the travel, amazing list of things, worked in cool jobs in great countries. I just didnt want to give up believing I was the same person. But yesterday I relized because I resisted my life so much I was actually making myself miserable. I’m not in my mid-twenties running after my next adventure, I’m at home running after my lil son and that in itself is a new adventure. I am determined now to be here in this life, which is actaully really great when I think of it and thats what led me to your blog, which is great by the way. I just wanted to say, i’m exactly like the quote above, hate hosting parties and am an extreme introvert, actually borderline hermit. I think most of it because I want to be remebered for how great my life was, but I’m not dead, and now I have this life. Oh sorry for the long post.

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