Please to be Interventioning Me

Posted by on June 28, 2010

First off, let me say that I’m not a fan of McDonald’s. Other than the Southwestern salad, I find their food largely unappetizing. Now, that doesn’t mean I won’t eat a fry or two because okay…their fries are pretty tasty. But the burgers are weird and have little hard things in them and the nuggets, despite claims to be all breast meat, have the occasional weird rubbery thing in them AND, I read somewhere (and this  MAY be an urban legend) that, were you to put one in a sealed glass container, their burgers look exactly the same a year later, as in NOT DECOMPOSING.

So yeah..ungoodness all around—and we haven’t even discussed the Happy Meals for little kids promoting PG-13 movies thing or the obesity thing or the not-humanely-raised eggs issue.

Okay, so now I’ve painted a pretty accurate picture of how I feel about the golden arches. Not exactly “lovin’ it”.

But then they went and did something totally diabolical.

MORE diabolical, I mean.

They introduced the Frappé.

It comes in mocha and caramel.

And I hate myself for saying this but THEY. ARE. GOOD.

And cheap.

And easy to get.

Not unlike a visit to your conveniently located neighborhood crack house.

I don’t know how many calories are in them and I don’t want to know. I just want my fricken daily Frappé.

It’s cold, creamy coffee goodness soothing the helltastic summer heat…

It’s caffeine, however meager, coursing through my veins and perking up my wilting, heat-stricken spirits…

Like any good junkie, I have a love/hate relationship with my dealer.

I hate them until I need a fix and then, despite all attempts at resistance, I find myself taking a different route so I can hit the drive thru.

And like any good junkie, I feel guilty and ashamed when it’s all gone and make promises to quit.

I NEED an intervention. PLEASE!

Right after I finish this giant mocha Frappé—you know—last hurrahs and such…


  • I remember getting something like that from Gloria Jean’s back in the 1990′s. It’s a milkshake masquerading as coffee. If you want to break your habit, look up the calorie count. I’m guessing it’s shockingly high. That’s one good thing about Starbucks; it’s expensive enough to make you think twice.

    Good luck breaking your habit!

    • IzzyMom says:

      Um yes…at 450 calories and 20 grams of fat, I think I’m done with the Frappé, thanks to another commenter who posted the Nutrition Facts for me. BUT GAHHHHHHHHHH—I still want one!!!

  • Damn you for telling me this. ;)

    • IzzyMom says:

      OMG! Just read the commment after yours. It will cure you of any interest you may have had in a Frappé

  • Yevgeniya says:

    Are you ready for the facts? I certainly won’t have another one.

    (Nutrition Facts – 12 ounces (small) – Mocha – 450 calories, 20 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 50 milligrams of cholesterol, 125 milligrams of sodium, 62 grams of carbohydrates, 4 grams of fiber, 56 grams of sugar, 7 grams of protein, 15% vitamin A, 20% calcium and 2% iron. Caramel – 450 calories, 20 grams of fat, 13 grams of saturated fat, 1 gram of trans fat, 55 milligrams of cholesterol, 120 milligrams of sodium, 62 grams of carbohydrates, 3 grams of fiber, 57 grams of sugar, 6 grams of protein, 15% vitamin A, 20% calcium and 2% iron.)

    Courtesy of

    • IzzyMom says:

      I think you just took care of any cravings I might have for another Frappe because DEARMOTHEROFGOD, it’s REALLY FATTENING and totally BAD for you.

      Thank you. If you were here I’d hug you and maybe hump your leg a bit.

      • Yevgeniya says:

        You are welcome! I don’t have a good self-control myself, but the fact that one drink is a full meal and not a good one at that makes me think very hard about buying one.

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    I love a midnight Irish cream at 150 calories per OUNCE. I’d be better off with a frappe.

  • zanymad says:

    OMG…that is just WRONG!! And that’s a SMALL…imagine what a large would do to you…DAMN IT! This is not surprising though…I mean, have you seen the fat content of a cheeseburger? Or the chicken nuggets (if you can call them that). I’m very curious about the burger patty myth. I think I’ll have my 12 year old use that for a school science fair project.
    .-= zanymad’s last blog post…Please HelpNewbie in Need =-.

  • patois says:

    If I’m going to drink all those calories, it had better have alcohol in it.
    .-= patois’s last blog post…Me in all My Glory =-.

  • Mama Fly says:

    I developed a similar addiction about a year ago – to a Tim Horton’s Iced Cappucino – several hundred calories made up largely of 18% Cream. OMG. I then proceeded to gain about 15 pounds in that year, and have had to go cold turkey!

  • kuba says:

    based on how much they cost, I’m thinking the fact that I never liked coffee or cigarettes has probably saved me shitloads of money…. however, if they ever come up with McBeer, I’m in trouble…..
    .-= kuba’s last blog post…Pete Townshend – Sears Centre- Hoffman Estates IL March 5- 2007 =-.

  • JenGid says:

    So thanks to this post I drove through McD’s this morning and ordered the medium. Then I came here tell you how awesome it was. Then I read the comments and subsequently the nutrition facts. Did I mention that I had the medium?? It was so freaking good, and now I have to refrain. I need the Men In Black to flashy light me.

    • IzzyMom says:

      Oh man…I’m laughing and feeling bad at the same time. I’m sorry the ecstasy was so short-lived but if you makes you feel any better, I’m in the same boat.

  • Cindy says:

    I think I’ll have my 12 year old use that for a school science fair project. thanx for posting.
    .-= Cindy’s last blog post…BeQuick Welcomes Our Newest Developer =-.

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