Braindump

Posted by on June 3, 2010

The feeling. It’s subtle but it’s there…quietly threatening.

The only way to describe it is to say that I’m starting to feel disconnected from everything around me…again. I hear you, I see you, I talk to you—but it’s like there’s glass between us; between me and the world. It’s like a…precursor to depression; not as bad as the real thing but not so great either.

It could just be hormonal mood swings that will be gone as quickly as they came.

I hope.

I’ve been weaning myself off Wellbutrin realllllly slowly and it’s working out okay. I just hate being beholden to medication. I know if you need it you should take it but there’s this nagging voice in the back of my head that always reminds me that this is my BRAIN we’re tinkering with and that being on any brain-tinkering drugs long term might be bad for you and really, who’s going to tell you that? The drug makers? Pffffftttt. RIGHT.

So anyway, what I think I really need right now is to TALK, with actual spoken words (as opposed to emails and IM’s) to someone who isn’t my husband or children. I’ve been isolating myself….burying myself in new projects and hiding from the world. That can’t be healthy *sigh*

/braindump


20 Comments

  • magpie says:

    I know that feeling – I force myself out of the house to meetings and things just to make sure and talk to people other than family and my work peeps.

    • IzzyMom says:

      It’s weird because I know that would help (I think) but I just can’t seem to muster the enthusiasm and motivation it would require. Does that make sense?
      .-= IzzyMom’s last blog post…Braindump =-.

  • Stop isolating and call me (who is also isolating herself and… well… I like company.)
    .-= katie | motherbumper’s last blog post…A Trip To The Zoo & Cranium Goo =-.

  • carolyn says:

    I sure am sorry you are feeling like this. I have been there and survived, but it was a bad time when I was in it. I will keep positive thoughts for you.

  • patois says:

    Funny how you sometimes find yourself reading a post that you could have written yourself.

    Here’s hoping you’ve already called Katie.
    .-= patois’s last blog post…Teaching is a Gift =-.

    • IzzyMom says:

      So many people have said the same thing. Is it the time of year? Something in the water? Gah…I don’t know but I hope you see your way to feeling better soon, soon, soon {{{hugs}}
      .-= IzzyMom’s last blog post…Braindump =-.

  • mel says:

    What is L-Tyrosine (amino acid)? I have an under active thyroid and I swear my levothyroxin is not working, but my doctor won’t up it. Depression isn’t helping either. Write here. We will listen.
    .-= mel’s last blog post…I’ll be on my boat. =-.

    • IzzyMom says:

      Thanks Mel :)

      L-Tyrosine is an amino acid that is a key component of dopamine (not enough can cause horrid anxiety, depression etc) and also affects your thyroid. If you don’t have enough of it or your body doesn’t use it efficiently or correctly or whatever, sometime taking a supplement can be helpful.
      .-= IzzyMom’s last blog post…Braindump =-.

  • Chele says:

    Wow. I could have written that. It’s what I’ve been TRYING to write for over a month, what I’ve been trying to explain to my husband for even longer.

    I hope and pray that you get out, make contact, do something. And, no, grocery shopping doesn’t count.

    <3<3
    .-= Chele’s last blog post…The coming of summer =-.

  • mom101 says:

    Take time off from the blog, unplug the email, get out in the world – whatever you have to do.

    And my phone lines are always open.
    .-= mom101′s last blog post…Confession =-.

  • mamatulip says:

    God, I wish we lived closer. Like in the same damn country.

    Call me anytime. :)

  • Lotta says:

    Be careful baby! I went off Wellbutrin and honestly thought everything was fine for a couple of months. Suuure I was more emotional but that was ok, because the good stuff felt better too. Then…the sads hit me big time and brought with my old bad habits of anxiety and obsessing.

    So happy to be back on the Wellbutrin, though I am on less now. Think about maybe just halving your dosage for awhile?
    .-= Lotta’s last blog post…Puke, Popsicles & Pamphlets =-.

    • IzzyMom says:

      Oh crap…maybe that’s what I’m dealing with right now. I’ve been tapering off slowly for quite a while now and now I’m not taking it at all. I have this overwhelming urge to refill my scrip but I’ve been fighting it. Thanks hon xo
      .-= IzzyMom’s last blog post…Braindump =-.

  • Kami says:

    Girl, I know that feeling. I went off my Zoloft, off my levoxyl (all under my doctor’s supervision), felt ok, then got an IUD and am now mad as hell all the time for no apparent reason. I cry watching commercials that feature children. But then, sometimes, I’m fine. My husband is like, “what’s wrong with you?” pretty much all the time. Dude, find a therapist or a friend who listens really well and dump all over them. That’s my plan, anyway. Starting Friday.
    .-= Kami’s last blog post…I Want to Party Like It’s 1999, But I Was 23, Single & Childless Back Then =-.

  • MayoPie says:

    Wow. I just completely isolated myself and I know exactly how you feel. I even quit one of my more exposed writing jobs and cancelled Blogher. Well, Blogher’s still happening, I think. They’re probably going to still have it if I don’t go. I’m not sure, I haven’t told them yet. Do you think they would cancel it? I should probably tell them.
    .-= MayoPie’s last blog post…Why Yes, Katie, We’re Open For Business =-.

  • But, if warm, share and starts rolling around.

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