Life, the Universe and Everything

Posted by on May 22, 2010

life_the_universe_everything2I recently removed myself from a situation that was making me really unhappy. Actually, it was making me more than unhappy. I was stressed all the time; I felt distrustful of the people I was involved with and constantly felt enveloped in negativity.

I had originally entered this situation at a friend’s request. It seemed like it would be fun and at first it was. But after a while, things changed and I realize now that I stayed in this situation out of a sense of loyalty and duty far longer than I should have, even though I was totally miserable.

I had begun thinking of getting out of this situation but wasn’t sure how to go about it. Then one day, the opportunity to peacefully but honestly speak my mind and make my exit presented itself. I took the opportunity and have never regretted it. In fact, I’m amazed at how much happier and more positive my life is since leaving.

I’m a firm believer, though I seem to have forgotten it for a while, that the universe knows exactly what you need and will show you the way when the time is right.

It took me a while to realize how unhappy I was and for the longest time, it never occurred to me that I. Could. Just. Leave. I was so busy trying to do my part, meet my responsibilities and deflect the negativity that I forgot that I had the power to change the situation by removing myself from it. Once the universe showed me the way out, I took it and did it with dignity, self-respect and a good amount of restraint.

I’m not going to lie and say that I wasn’t bitter about certain things. I was. But I’ve worked hard at taking the high road and taking my ego out of the equation and that has helped tremendously. Sometimes it’s difficult to resist the urge to say or do something nasty and petty. Sure, it would make me feel better in the moment but in the end, it’s totally ego-driven and ultimately, it would hurt me more than anyone else.

I’m a sympathetic person most of the time but I’m not an overly empathetic person. I really do have to work on it every single day but by putting myself in other people’s shoes, the hurtful, thoughtless and rude things they do bother me a lot less. That’s not to say I don’t feel annoyed or irritated or insulted at times. I do. Frequently. I’m human. But being able to look at something from THEIR perspective and cutting them some slack because maybe they’re having a bad day, or they chose the wrong words or simply didn’t think before they acted makes me a happier person. I have to work at it because really, it’s a lot easier to carry around resentment and hold on to it, as if that will somehow make the other person sorry or make them pay for what they did to me—but it doesn’t. It just makes me dwell on it more and attract more negative energy into my life.

To be clear, I’m not a model citizen by any means and I don’t fancy myself to be any more enlightened than anyone else but in my opinion, what they say about forgiveness is true. It’s a gift you give YOURSELF. It’s not letting the other person get away with something bad that they did to you. It’s giving yourself the gift of letting it go and moving on. No, it’s not always easy and yes, there are some people in my life I still haven’t forgiven or even attempted to make amends with, mainly because I’m just not ready. That’s something I will carry around with me until I make it right and it is a burden.

As I said, I forgot all these things for a while—I was just too caught up in my situation to see clearly—but I’m making the effort to re-acquaint myself with these beliefs because they work for me.  Trying to live and make choices and act without my ego calling the shots is really hard sometimes, but when I do it, I consistently see positive results.

One notable change is how people act towards me when I’m operating in such a manner—they are simply nicer, kinder and more helpful. It’s the weirdest thing but I swear it’s true. The only conclusion I can come to is that I am giving off a more positive energy and people, even total strangers, respond to it. Maybe I smile more. Maybe I have a happy vibe. I really don’t know. All I do know is that when I’m not weighed down by my ego, life is just better and easier and the universe seems to respond to my needs far more.

Example? The other day I was worrying about money. I know worry is a useless emotion but things have been really tight lately and I was feeling really strapped financially. I tried some positive affirmations about abundance and prosperity and thanked the universe for all our blessings, of which there are many. Two days later, a former client from over a year ago came to me and proposed a situation that would give me some needed financial relief. I was happy and grateful. But when the money came into my account, it was double what we had discussed. My client wanted to do expand his original request and had gone ahead and paid me for it, which I was not expecting. The universe was listening and brought me exactly what I needed and had asked for.

Please know, when I say universe, that’s my catch-all term for all things divine. It can be God or Goddess or the divine creator or the Flying Spaghetti Monster, if you wish. Names are irrelevant. It all comes from the same place.

And why am I prattling on about all this? Because I hope it can help someone else. And really, it’s never a bad thing to put more positivity into the world—it all comes back to you eventually :)

*I never actually read The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy OR Life, the Universe and Everything but the title of the latter is so befitting this post, I had to reference it. I’m a book poseur. *shameface*


16 Comments

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    You really should read the “The Hitchikers Guide to the Galaxy”. I know you would like it. I just quoted Douglas Adams the other day: “Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss.” It’s a lot like what you’re saying here. Making a conscious decision to be a better person without expecting a reward for it ends up bringing the rewards to you. It’s tricky, but it works. Great post. And, you’d only be a poseur if you hadn’t admitted not reading the book :)

  • roo says:

    I think the universe may have guided me to your post today. I’m feeling not a little strapped, and it’s easy to become bitter about it. Your way seems a lot better.

    • IzzyMom says:

      Seriously, ask the universe for what you need. It’s not selfish or self-serving, as much religious dogma would have you believe. You may not get it right away but you will get it when the time is right. I swear I’m not talking out of my ass here!

  • Ah….so many wise words to live by! I too, struggle with the daily grind of positive affirmation. Even though I have continuously been shown how such thought processes’ are to the ultimate benefit of me and my family. Still. It’s dang hard! I can be a feisty spitfire at times. There are days when a person (or even a group of persons), can just plain piss you off. Perhaps you had next to no sleep or are run ragged trying to get a trillion things done and have a less-than-ethereal-reaction.

    Lessons from the kabbalah have really aided me in wading through the sheiza life/people can throw and not feeding into such negative energies. (By reacting.) I TRY to pick and choose my battles wisely and spend my time on the positive.

    Such inspiration comes from others, like you – who believe in the power of the positive! I’m off to check my bank account…
    .-= Selena Burgess’s last blog post…Random Tangent =-.

    • IzzyMom says:

      Give it a try. Why shouldn’t you get what you need? That’s what I don’t like about most organized religions. They make you feel like asking for something for yourself is somehow wrong, to which I say NONSENSE!

  • Kami says:

    I believe that everything happens for a reason. Maybe you were supposed to stay in the situation that was making you unhappy for as long as you did. Maybe if you’d pulled out earlier, you would have missed the importance of empathy. I’m terrible at empathy. I try. I work on it. I don’t want to be so self centered that stepping into other peoples shoes is impossible. But I also think too much empathy can be enabling. I see enabling going on all over the place. Parents enabling their kids, teachers enabling their students, doctors enabling their patients. It makes me crazy. Things are hard sometimes. Empathy can be productive. It can be solution-oriented. It doesn’t have to provide crutches or excuses. I’m in a weird mood. Sorry if this sounds harsh.
    .-= Kami’s last blog post…Acid Trips Have Nothing on the Trippyness of Being a Working Mom =-.

    • IzzyMom says:

      I don’t think that’s harsh at all and I totally agree about empathy being enabling at times. It’s a fine line between being able to put yourself in another’s shoes and just plain making excuses for them. I find it most helpful in diffusing anger and resentment. I can sit and brew on something that I will never act on anyway or I can try to look objectively at someone’s assy behavior, feel sorry for them that they are so miserable that they feel the need to be assy and move on. Honestly, it’s more for me than them.

  • mel says:

    I needed to read this post. thanks. I recently started to speak out to the universe. It’s hard for me because I don’t really have any specific belief and feel weird doing it, but now I will speak out to the Flying Spaghetti Monster. It will be the highlight of my day. really.
    .-= mel’s last blog post…I’ll be on my boat. =-.

  • carma says:

    I’m in a similar situation – feeling stuck — only I’m the one guilting myself into staying there and being stuck. I swear I will hold onto something I hate doing for years rather than upset someone and leave. Of course, this time it is my job so I’ll need to give it some extra thought before bailing. I know exactly what you mean about the “being stuck” feeling to cause one to become bitter and mired in negativity. That’s exactly what I am going through right now. My husband has told me over and over I should just leave but somehow I can’t bring myself to do it!! (oh yeah, the money – as little as it is may also be a factor ;-) ) I’m guessing this was a volunteer situation you were referring to (not to be nosey)…
    .-= carma’s last blog post…Somebody Needs to Shut His Big Yapper! =-.

  • Debbie says:

    I don’t have any sage stuff to add. Just glad I had the chance to read your words today. And glad to know you’re here, being you+awesome, is all. Plus that whole thing about being ready to forgive and then doing it? So true. Hits me RIGHT HEAH. *socks self in gut*

    xoxoxoxo
    .-= Debbie’s last blog post…pictures make up for lost time, right? =-.

  • JohnBach says:

    this is also nice info, thanks!

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