Gawd Mom, That’s SO Dumb

Posted by on May 7, 2010

When I was about eleven, a dog inadvertently came into my life. It was one of those things where a kid got a dog from God Knows Where and brought it home and their mom was all NO WAY! And then that kid had to find a home for the dog and asked another kid, who asked another kid (that would be me) who, in turn, begged her mom to keep the dog and quite possibly threw in some emotional blackmail to seal the deal.

And that? Is how I got the dog—a small, snaggle-toothed, white fluffball of unknown origins who was aptly named (wait for it)…Fluffy!

Fluffy was the only dog we ever had that liked me better than my mom but she was a wily, spunky little thing and one day when I let her out into the backyard, she squeezed her way through the small gap where fence meets gate and she was gone.

When I realized Fluffy had outsmarted our high tech security (read: chain link fencing) and breached the backyard, I was, of course, distraught. My friend and I combed our suburban neighborhood calling for her, “FLUFFEEEEEEEE! FLUFFEEEEEEEE!” but she was nowhere to be found.

I called my mom at work, something I did much too often, and reported to her, with great distress in my voice, that I couldn’t find the dog.

And she told me?  To call the police department and ask if anyone had reported finding a dog.

PFFFTTTTT!

I gasped! I sputtered!

I was all “Moooo-oooom, that’s SO dumb! Nobody calls the police to report finding a dog! GAWWWWWD!!!” Because when you’re eleven, you know EVERYTHING.

I’m not sure what I expected her to do from 25 minutes away, at her job, but I remember feeling irritated that my #1 problem solver’s only suggestion was calling the fuzz.

Annoyed, I got off the phone and after brewing on it, decided I would call the police department (probably just to prove that my mom clearly didn’t love me because if she did, she wouldn’t have given me stupidest, most unhelpful idea EVER and would have dropped whatever she was doing to come home and make everything okay).

Annnnnd, as luck would have it…

Someone DID file a police report about finding a small white dog the day before, about a half mile from my house.

I called the people and a nice lady told me they had found Fluffy soaking wet and shivering under a tree, in the rain, and took her home.

Long story short, I got my 20 yr old sister to drive me over there to pick up Fluffy, who had clearly been well-cared for by her kindly benefactor.

She yelped and cried with excitement when she saw me…and then very promptly peed and pooped on the woman’s kitchen floor.

I cleaned up the mess, thanked the lady profusely for taking care of Fluffy and we headed home.

Later, I told my mother, mumbling no doubt, that we’d found the dog after calling the police department. She must have bitten her tongue pretty hard to keep from saying “I told you so…”

I don’t think I ever apologized to my mom for insinuating that she was a total idiot and I’m also pretty sure I never thanked her for helping me find Fluffy.

I’m sorry, Mom. And thank you.


18 Comments

  • Libby says:

    My Mom used to say that once I turned 18 she liked me again. Now that I have a daughter I fear I will soon find out what she meant…
    .-= Libby’s last blog post…It’s Not What You Think =-.

    • IzzyMom says:

      My daughter is almost ten and I’m already seeing glimpses of my tween self in her attitude. I probably deserve it after being so miserable to my mother who, sadly, did not live to see me move past that awful stage.

  • kuba says:

    nice story, something we can all relate to, I think…. it’s funny the contradiction how as kids we’d ask our parents for the answer to whatever problem we were having because we KNEW they knew everything, and yet when they gave us the answer, it would sound ridiculous because suddenly WE knew better than they did….. my mom’s been gone a few years now, but it’s thinking of similar stories like this about her that always brings a smile to my face….
    .-= kuba’s last blog post…The Wedding Babes and moi….. =-.

    • IzzyMom says:

      This is just one of many stories where I doubted my long-suffering mom’s wisdom. As she looks down at us from wherever she is, I’m sure it amuses her to no end that my daughter is well on her way to treating me as someone of limited intelligence.

  • pixielation says:

    That’s so sweet! I love the fact that you’ve thought to thank your mum now!

    I do remember being that know it all 11 year old too. I probably still am!

    I remember a time I was cutting rectangles out of a larger piece of a card, and my mother sagely pointed out that if I’d turned my original template 90 degrees I’d have got 4 rectangles out instead of 2 and a lot of leftover card. I denied that was true, despite the truth of being being painfully self evident! If only she’d pointed that out BEFORE I started cutting!
    .-= pixielation’s last blog post…How to train your husband =-.

  • Selena says:

    I suppose if we all were walks in the park as teens rather than the know-it-all divas we (I?) were, then there would not be much interesting to write about!

    I love how you wrapped up the post as an thankful ode to your mother. It’s beauty in the words of one who puts it all out there, that tends to shine back ten-fold.
    .-= Selena’s last blog post…On My Way To Etsy! =-.

    • IzzyMom says:

      Know-it-all divas…lol That sums it up pretty well. I’m sure my mom would have a good laugh if she could see my daughter covertly rolling her eyes at me (she thinks I don’t see her *snort*) and saying “Mooooo-ooom!”

  • I’m not sure if you meant it that way, but that was a brilliant Happy Mother’s Day post :)
    .-= Shauna (Fido & Wino blog)’s last blog post…Happy Mother’s Day! =-.

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    Apparently, my brain started to deteriorate when my daughter hit 8. I figure by the time she turns 12 I’ll need a feeding tube and lessons in breathing.

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    Also, I miss “Baby Love A Grunt” and your mom.

  • patois says:

    Quite possibly the BEST mother’s day post I’ve ever read.
    .-= patois’s last blog post…11 Years Old and Already Kissing =-.

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    I’ve tried to reply twice! :( No aqui!

  • Kami says:

    When I was 11, I knew everything too. Now that I’m 34, I’m thinking that maybe my mom does know a little something after all. But man, did I give her a run for her money.
    .-= Kami’s last blog post…A Mighty Mommy Moment =-.

  • roo says:

    I’m glad you found your dog, even if it meant swallowing a little pride in the process.

    Sounds like your dog was good at disappearing– probably how you came to have him in the first place…

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