The One Where I Inadvertently Insult Monster Truck Fans
Lookie…it’s one of those blog thingies! I used to have a pretty successful one a long time ago… Oh HAI!! This IS my blog. Hah. I forget sometimes that I actually still have one. I should try writing in it now and then.
Tonight my daughter and I had a girls night out. We decided to go to the movies instead of going OUT out ’cause she’s really over the whole bar scene.
So ANYWAY… When we first got into the crowded theater, I looked around and thought I spied two seats together up high so we walked up there. Well, fuckity fuck…there were NO seats right next to each other AT ALL. We were going to walk back down and get some of those seats awesome seats like three feet from the screen when I heard someone whispering loudly. I looked and this guy was gesturing to the seat next to him as he got up and moved him and his kid down, thus creating two empty seats for us.
I’m always floored by such little acts of kindness. I mean, really, most people would have down um…NOTHING. I considered showing my gratitude by sitting on his lap and making out with him but, you know, we had our kids there and I’m all about the family values and whatnot.
We saw The Tooth Fairy and I have to be honest, it really didn’t suck like I thought it would. Of course, I was unduly influenced beforehand by a bunch of reviews that gave it, like, two stars. But it was cute and The Rock is adorable—inasmuch as a gigantic, musclebound man with a slightly pointy head can be adorable.
It was chock full of hijinx and shenanigans and feelgoodyness and a few life lessons thrown in for good measure (don’t piss all over other people’s dreams!!!). Oh, and some hockey, which is one of the few sports I can actually stand to watch and mainly served to remind me that I CAN’T WAIT FOR THE WINTER OLYMPICS!!!
So after the movie, I profusely thanked the dad who made room for us and then the guy on the other side of us tried to chat me up about how he really wanted to see this OTHER movie but since he had his 4 year old with him he had to see The Tooth Fairy and well, you know, it wasn’t so bad but the next chance he gets he’s so seeing the movie with the black guy whose name he can’t remember but you know, it’s definitely gonna be an AMAZING flick and I should see it, too—except the title of it is STILL escaping him… And right about then my nine year old date starts poking me and loudly telling me she’s ready to go. Thank God for perceptive little girls…
So while we were having a girls movie night, my husband and son were at one of those monster truck things at the stadium. A friend of ours had some extra tickets that he bought LAST YEAR (because that’s when you get the REALLY GOOD SEATS apparently) so he took them along with him and his kids.
Honestly, I always thought those things were for, like, the easily amused and/or white trash people (don’t give me that stinkeye…only recently I had not one but TWO non-working refrigerators sitting outside my house so I’m ALLOWED to use terms like ‘white trash’ with impunity) but my friend with the extra tickets isn’t white trash and neither is Mayopie, who also recently attended a monster truck event.
I was wrong. Monster truck events are clearly the domain of a wide range of folks, including but not limited to middle class parents and their spawn. I apologize for misjudging said events as magnets for rednecks, toothless people and those with lower IQ’s. Please don’t hurt me.
Well, my husband and son got home around 11pm and they both fell promptly asleep. My son I can totally understand—it’s hours past his bedtime. My husband’s sleepiness, however, is most likely attributable to vile, horribly overpriced, pee colored American beer *shudder*
Tomorrow is the Superbowl and just to show you how serious I am about avoiding televised sports (except for the Winter Olympics which totally effing RULE), I have no earthly idea who’s even IN the Superbowl this year. WIN!
I feel that way about boxing. And, until recently, Monster truck thingies. But then my husband made it known that HE likes boxing and we’re going TO a monster truck thingie next weekend, sooo….
Then again, I have never claimed to NOT be a bit trashy…
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Ha…me either! Refrigerators, remember? TWO OF THEM.
I went to a Monster Truck event once about two years ago. I was actually kind of disappointed that it wasn’t more aggro. It was in an indoor arena and the trucks just didn’t have enough room to do much more than rev their engines and occasionally do one trick. Kind of boring. I want to go to one that’s outside where they can really go nuts and I can scream shit like, “YEEHAW!”
However, there was an extended tribute to the American flag before the event started and we had to pay tribute to the “men and women who fight in Iraq for our right to have monster trucks.” I’m not even joking.
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Well, I’ve *always* thought the right to have monster trucks was just as important as, like, freedom and shit.
I cannot wait to fangirl over Apolo Ohno, er, I mean enjoy the winter Olympics.
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ME EITHER! Fangirls unite!!!!
In fairness, I was invited at the last minute. We went for my girlfriend’s 12 year old son. There was a man and his 2 sons sitting in front of me. They were spraypainted green and black. The dad was wearing a green tophat that was about 18 inches tall. They were all wearing autographed “Gravedigger” t-shirts. The 17 year old boys were standing on their seats and screaming every time a gas pedal was pressed. We spent the first half moving from seat to seat, only to eventually be forced back to our original seats. I got drunk. That was the best part.
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Dude. YOU were my shining example that monster trucks are NOT just for toothless redneck types. That’s, like, a compliment. The fact that you got drunk there? Deep fried in win, my friend.
I’ll just never forget the time that the Tampa Bay Performing Art Center had to delay the opening night of “Les Miserables” because of traffic due to a Monster Truck and Tractor Pull. It speaks volumes. And don’t let my brother fool you. He is totally white trash.
Your face.
MayoPie’s last blog post…Search term update: Die Outsider Ponyboy
I recently worked the Monster Truck in Detroit. Let me tell you that your perception fits the majority of the people there, LOL. Not all of course, but most!
I was surprised at how many little boys were there, I mean little. We were laughing that the dads brought them along to get there wife’s to agree to letting them go, lol.
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I think that’s totally true. Although, my son was dying to go. I was like “HE’S FOUR…how does he even KNOW about Monster Jam?”
Fancy!!! Love it.
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博主高手，学习了！