Dear Craigslist People
Dear Craigslist People,
I know you turn to Craigslist to find a bargain (unless you’re one of those jackasses that posts nekkid pix of yourself from your Grandma’s bathroom…the crocheted poodle toilet paper cover is a dead giveaway, just in case you were wondering how I knew you were at your Grandma’s house perving it up in her bathroom. Also, FYI, pictures taken in your nasty ass bedroom with the Whitesnake poster on the wall OR a Spongebob blanky anywhere in sight? NOT HOT )
Anyway, I know you folks want to save a few bucks so you look around on Craigslist but seriously, you need to KNOW a few things…
If I’m selling 60 pieces of name-brand girls clothing, all in excellent condition and I’m only asking $20, which, for the math-impaired, is 33¢ an item, I’m NOT taking pictures of every single item and I’m NOT going to answer stupid questions about every item and I’m NOT going to sell it to you for five fucking dollars—especially when I know your sorry cheap ass is probably going to turn around and sell it on eBay anyway. Which is fine. I fucking hate eBay so better you than me. But I’d give it to Goodwill before I’d let you have it for that—go buy it from them. I mean really…have you NO shame? I’d be embarrassed to ask people to give me a SEVENTY FIVE PERCENT price break…
The same goes for the Little Tikes Craftsmen Tool Bench. Dude…it’s in mint condition and I’m asking twenty dollars for it. Do NOT send me an email asking if I’ll take five for it. Is there anything in my listing that says this is “Let’s Make a Really Shitty (for me) Deal?” If you seriously can’t afford more than five bucks, maybe you should SELL YOUR COMPUTER (I’ll give you five bucks for it) and get rid of your internet service instead of lowballing people on Craigslist all day long.
And finally, for all you assholes that bug the living crap out of me and beg me to not sell my stuff to someone else and then don’t show up… I wish you a scorching case of genital herpes with a nice sprinkling of genital warts. I mean you clearly have a phone, since you called me 17 times to make sure I hadn’t sold the item(s) you so desperately wanted. How about picking up said phone and letting me know you won’t be coming? I might even be nice and understanding and NOT wish you a lifetime of oozing blisters and weird bumpy things on your nether regions. But if you offer me five dollars? All bets are off.
As ever,
Iz
Amen.
Cheap ass jackholes.
marty’s last blog post…Necessary cuddling
people can be such dill-holes!
neena’s last blog post…sweet charlotte
So you’re saying you WON’T take $5?
I’ll take my pennies elsewhere.
;)
Angie [A Whole Lot of Nothing]’s last blog post…It’d be awesome if this actually happened, but God doesn’t like failures, so I’m not going to make it a “must do”
HA HA HA! I am cracking up. Especially at the computer comment.
heather…’s last blog post…Found
I have tried to sell some furniture on Craigslist and it’s a total crapshoot. I’ll get a gazillion emails and most will sound so creepy that there is NO WAY IN HELL I’m giving any of them my address.
Exactly why I don’t do Craigslist. It’s worth the $20 NOT to have to deal with the crazies.
Amy@UWM’s last blog post…Just Couldn’t Help Myself
Well, I *was* going to donate the money I made from all this crap to charity and teach my kids a little something about giving up stuff they really don’t need to help others but it’s turning out to be a huge pain in the ass. Clearly no good deed goes unpunished…
Okay, Elphaba.
I donated money once from Craigslist sales, and while I’m glad I did so, the selling part WAS such a huge pain in the ass. What surprised me was what people actually bought! A ten year-old juicer for $40! You can probably buy a new one for that. Some people’s trash…
However, I’ve found some good deals, too. We just bought a desk for my daughter for a good deal. The guy went down $5, but I thought that was okay to ask for :)
Melanie at Parenting Ink’s last blog post…The Best of Intentions
Oh Christ, I feel your pain. I’ve dealt with those idiots before. Now I just put in my listings not to bother making any offers. The price is the price. Seems to help weed out the asswipes.
People are so rude, aren’t they. I often put things on freecycle, which is for giving away stuff for free. And people often seem to think that because it’s free, courtesy is not required. To not turn up, or give any word that they’re not coming after I’ve said that they could come and get it is just rude.
pixielation’s last blog post…Throw another prawn on the barbie, willya?
OMG…don’t EVEN get me started about Freecycle!
IzzyMom’s last blog post…Dear Craigslist People
We sold a washer/dryer on Craigslist recently and the guys that came to pick it up kept looking around our garage and asking if we had anything else to sell…and they started up my husband’s motorcycle without asking. I watched from the window the whole time and was a nervous wreck…I said no more Craigslist for me.
Oh, Craigslist. How could something so awesome be so annoying? Not to mention dangerous. Now all I think of when I think of Craigslist is the guy in Boston who murdered girls he met through their ads. Not that I would place ads like that. But if I did, I would pose in my grandma’s bathroom wrapped in a Sponge Bob towel. Guys like that, don’t they?
Kami Lewis Levin’s last blog post…Nixon
In a spongebob towel…rofl Thanks for the laugh :)
IzzyMom’s last blog post…Dear Craigslist People
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, CraigsList is a pain in the ass. But where else can I make…wait…$3 an hour? Shit.
patois’s last blog post…LOFL
you could’ve just as easily titled this “Dear Yardsale people”….. I lost faith in humanity when I had a box of candlestick holders priced at 50 cents (for the entire box!!) and someone came up and asked me if I’d take .25………
kuba’s last blog post…Bruce Springsteen @ 1st Mariner Arena Baltimore MD Nov 20, 2009
OMG YES…the yard sale people, the Freecycle people and the Craigslist people are, like, the SAME horrible people.
I’ve actually found some good deals on Craigslist, but I’m afraid to sell or give away anything because I’m paranoid that someone just wants to kill me or my kids.
The personals are hilarious.
Girl, you are hilarious! And, SO spot on.
Jennifer’s last blog post…On your third birthday…
Oh, do I ever hear you. I just had a big old pile of almost brand new Gymboree clothes that I was selling there for $15 (about 30 pieces) and someone had the nerve to write me (I have 4 good photos posted) and tell me that if I thought I was ever going to “unload” them (as if they were stolen goods or counterfeit money or something) I’d have to add more photos and drop my price.
It felt awfully good to write back and let them know that I had 25 emails before them and sold them already.
Molly’s last blog post…Day Nine of the 500 Pound Declutter- Undoing Christmas
OK. Fine.
I’ll give you $15 for the Little Tikes Craftsmen Tool Bench but that is my FINAL offer. ;)
Good stuff here. Will definitely be useful for me so I will have to sign up and see what I can get to help me. Thank for this.
saksham’s last blog post…HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone !!!
You always come up with great stuff I just love your site you are very talented I’ll recommend your site to my friends and family members great job very appreciated..keep it up..
Saksham’s last blog post…HAPPY NEW YEAR to everyone !!!
You are so right. I could never sell clothes on there because i would bitch slap the woman who came to pick them up and inspect each item before handing over the cash. I do not have the patience.
SO True! Love it.
Shannon’s last blog post…spearmint baby | winter wardrobe must-haves
That is so funny!! :) Loved this post.