Yes, They Make Your Butt Look Big
Continuing with the ass theme of the past two weeks…
Underwear with butt (and crotch) pads for men… Hot or not? Awesome or awful?
Frankly, I’d expect that sort of thing for women—we’re ALL ABOUT the illusion…makeup, fake nails, colored hair, highlights, spray tans, push-up bras, shapewear (remember when that shit was called a girdle?), Botox and yes, Booty Pop underwear so we can all look like Kim Kardashian. Nothing surprising about any of that.
But why would any man don underwear with butt (or crotch) pads? I don’t get it… I know popular culture has elevated the female gravity-defying ass to new heights, right up there with oddly round gravity-defying breasts and a -5% BMI but I had no idea men were concerned that their gluteus maximus might only be a gluteus minimus.
And how about when it’s time to strip down and your partner realizes your big booty was comprised of little more than foam?
That might that be a little…em-barr-ASS-ing. Heh.
So am I making a big ass deal out of nothing? (Sorry…I couldn’t resist)
Honestly, I *might* consider wearing padded underwear for some special occasion where my butt might be scrutinized. Of course I can think of NO such occasion off the top of my head but I reserve the right… Otherwise. no effing way because in addition to feeling ridiculous, it’s WAY too hot here and an assrash would be guaranteed.
Would any of you, male or female, wear underwear with butt pads?
Is that dude on the right packing up front, too? I’m suspicious…
Yep..they make crotch pads, too. Good eye there, Amy ;)
WhHhHahahahahah.
Maria’s last blog post…nine months old
Wait does this mean we can buy these crotch pad and pretend to have a package? That might make for an interesting experiment…
This doesn’t surprise me too much though, the male ego was bound to extend to the body eventually. A news magazine did a story on “mirdles”, the male girdle recently and my husband had to totally pretend he wasn’t interested.
Meredith’s last blog post…Take Us Back In Time Tuesday - 8/25/09
lololol…how DOES one feign disinterest in a mirdle?
I’m going to venture a guess that these are marketed to a particular segment of the male population and prefers the company of men and likes those men to have nice, round butts. In fact I know that to be true.
But no, I wouldn’t wear a women’s version of those… I have enough junk in my trunk. I don’t need that kind of help!
Jill’s last blog post…Of vampires and pink-haired punks. Tales of beauty.
I just don’t get the big round butt thing. I knew a guy in elementary school that had the biggest, roundest, highest ass I’ve ever seen on a male. His notable ass aside, he was pretty much a grade-grubbing tattletale (which means he’s probably a billionaire now). Anyway, I think he turned me off big butts for life.
I wish I could say I was surprised by this, but I’ve long known that men were just as worried about their image - back junk or front junk; though they typically suffered in silence. As for whether or not I would wear undies with butt padding, I can answer that with a decided NO. I have enough of my own junk in my trunk, I don’t need any help with it.
Caitlin’s last blog post…Continued "Conversation" (Wherein I use lots of CAPS)
NFW would I wear one of those….. I agree with the person above who suspects that it’s aimed at a certain “niche” market that you might find at the “Blue Oyster” bar from those Police Academy movies…. besides, that extra “help” would be lost on me, since I tend to wear everything over-sized and baggy anyway……
kuba’s last blog post…Paul McCartney @ FedEx Field, Landover MD, August 1, 2009
…and what a weird ass shape those are too! could you just imagine giving your guy a grope and having to feel that?! (shudder)
Gross. Fake girls — got it. Fake boys — don’t want it!
Scotch Straight Up’s last blog post…Daily Dose
Luckily, or unluckily depending on your take, I have my own padding. Nothing extra required. I’m not surprised by this, though. Looking at some of the beefcakes at the gym, I can imagine them trying to inflate their, ahem, assets.
Cara’s last blog post…Booga Booga Revisited
The woman’s ad made me laugh - seems people are slow to realize that you can’t weigh 90 pounds, have no boobs AND have a big booty! If ya got the booty, you generally have the boobies and some extra meat!
Jessica’s last blog post…The Elephant in the Room - Race Relations in America
If it sucked in the tummy, lessened the thighs and boosted the butt. hell yes ;-)
If my husband were wearing it.. I’d kick him in his padded tush ;-0 LOL.
gotta love it.
No, thank you. I’m more interested in the ass-minimizing panties. But I can definitely understand why some dudes would want the crotch-pads. But it would be slightly difficult to explain when he gets past third base, no?
I would think that wearing these would make a man a “huge dick,” or a “complete ass,” in more ways than one.
I can’t believe they actually have “mirdles”. The hubs and I were just joking about doing a spoof video about them in response to that Kimora shaper thingie. So mirdles actually exist? Ha. Not that I would have ever been motivated to make an actual spoof video. Too lazy.
What about one night stands? I can just see all of these people in the bathrooms removing their prosthetics for 20 minutes and then walking out butt-less, boob-less, and ahem, understated.
If a bigger butt put things more in proportion (meaning if I would somehow quit looking like I’m 6 months pregnant even though I had my last baby 13 months ago) then yes. The odds of that happening are slim.
C @ Kid Things’s last blog post…Weekly Winners Vol. 5: Zoo Edition
What, you thought my ass was naturally that big?
Sadly, I will never in life have a need for butt pads.
However, if they come out with butt underwire, I’ll be all over that.
Miss Britt’s last blog post…The Happy Freak
LOL! What man is actually going to wear those? I can see women wearing body-modification items, but men? I just don’t see it happening!
Maybe it’s a gay thing, they are all about the perfect butt. You know how fussy those queens can be:)) Of course I speak as the sister of a fussy gay man fighting middle age. He would probably buy a fake ass.
JJR’s last blog post…Shedding Facebook
That is beyond creeeeeeeeeeeeepy.
It’s hard to believe that any man would want butt pads. That’s just gross. I’ll have to show these to my husband and see what he thinks. Ha!
Its time for men to get their asses in shape! Wopeee!
I’ll speak for my self, a nice high butt on a man is he’s sexiest feature.
Sometimes I wanna touch their butts when nice. LOL, but I don’t.
MsJuicyBooty.com–
Its not a sex site men, so don’t waste your time. Peace out!
This is awful, i would understand if women would wear something like this. But men? You’ve got to be kidding me.
my bottom is flat i need somthing to make bigger in short time. thank you