A girl wandered off, and nothing happened. She went off exploring and all the adults around her freaked out. I’m not saying that parents shouldn’t know where their kids are on a crowded beach, but I am saying that maybe feeling scared about an imaginary “bad guy” doesn’t justify not giving a child the freedom to explore a little bit.

I know people who practiced the free range parenting style back when I was in elementary school. Most of them quickly changed their ways when a group of FOUR kids (10 year olds) who were walking to school together were all kidnapped and strangled.

I don’t think it’s necessary to teach a child independence by having them walk to school or go places by themselves. I have friends who are products of free range parenting while my mom found a happy medium between free range parenting and helicopter parenting. My friends are intelligent and very funny, but they are incredibly irresponsible. They all spend their money as if money grows on trees. They don’t take their education seriously and although they don’t think for a second that mommy and daddy will bail them out, they rely on everyone else to help them when they get into trouble.

My mom never let me go anywhere by myself unless I was on a school trip until I finished high school. In college, we do talk on the phone everyday (we’re very close), but I manage my own life. She’s there if I need advice, but she doesn’t micromanage my life. She doesn’t call my professors to check if I did my homework or attend class. I manage my money well and don’t depend on my parents or friends to bail me out.

I think they key to parenting is letting your kids know that you care about them and are there for you if you need them. Teach your kids to see you as a resource for advice. Teach them responsibility and decision-making skills by gradually teaching them about how to deal with people, planning for the future and the consequences for their actions.

Sure, for the most part if you let your 9 year old play in the park at night alone, chances are nothing will happen. But if they get kidnapped or seriously hurt, that’s when the parents start freaking out. It only takes one time for something to happen. This isn’t to say that parents need to be joined at the hip with their kids, but rather keep them at a distance where you can see them. Before they become a teenager, have them take some self-defense classes so that if they want to go out with their friends or date, they will at least be prepared if something were to happen.

For what it’s worth, the chances of a child becoming among the missing, kidnapped by a stranger, are nearly half that of being struck by lightning.

Once at Target when she was 2 and they had to announce a “Code Red” which means that all the doors go on lockdown (did you know they do this?) and once for 15 minutes on our street when the neighbor girl thought it would be fun to visit strangers.

The most terrifying experiences of my life.

I’m so glad your story ended well!
Lena’s last blog post…Flying and Parenting: Both Defy Logic (I Declare That the Theme Of This Post)