Grandma Came. And Left.

Posted by on June 18, 2009

Well…my baby is now officially four years old. He keeps saying he’s five (but I hope that never happens. I want him to stay just like he is forever *sniff*)

And wonder of wonders…I managed, somehow, to get my house clean and almost all the laundry washed and folded (but not all put away because apparently, when ALL our clothes are clean, we have too damn much to fit it our drawers. The solution? Don’t do laundry as often! Wait…no…I mean CLEAN OUT our drawers and put the stuff we no longer wear in the yard sale pile(s).

Anyway, my stepmother came, as promised, but didn’t even spend the night. Part of me was relieved because, honestly, I don’t enjoy house guests all that much, but the other part of me was kind of mad. We don’t see you for over two years and you can’t spend one damn night?

I was also irritated because I put a LOT of time and energy into cleaning the bedrooms since she would, presumably, be sleeping in one of them. Of course I’m happy that the rooms are now clean but if you only knew how much pressure I put on myself to get all this stuff done…only to find it was actually unnecessary. I even bought vodka (not the cheap stuff either) and organic orange juice for her. Hmmph.

The party was small and thankfully so because when you have two four year olds, two eight year olds and one very loud and curious (read: into effing EVERYTHING) two year old running around in a small house, all sugared up from cake, bickering over toys and balloons, hootin and hollerin’ and generally causing serious mayhem… Well, suffice it to say, any more kids might have made my head explode, as well as the heads of every adult in attendance (my husband, two other parents and two grandmothers).

The cake was awesome, if I do say so (homemade with some help from Bettty Crocker, with truly homemade chocolate icing), the food was okay (pasta, breadsticks and pizza from Pizza Hut because we are KLASSY) and the whole thing lasted about two and a half hours (just long enough).

When it was over and the kids went to bed, I promptly plopped my ass on the couch, with full intentions of watching True Blood but instead fell asleep for nine solid hours. Staying up til 4:30am the night before, cleaning (and writing for The Green Mom Review) just about killed me yesterday so I was totally okay with sleeping contentedly on the couch all night. I was, however, very grouchy this morning and pretty much snarled at everyone until I had coffee.

Shortly thereafter I had a little jungle adventure when I had to look for my cat. He’s a formerly feral kitten who kind of adopted my male cat, and thus our family, too. We got him fixed and now he’s this small, chubby, sweet little thing with a big old overbite.

Anyway, I noticed the night before last that I hadn’t seen him in over 24 hours. I had a feeling he was next door in this insane rainforest of a backyard. The girl is a renter and is never  EVER home so I put on jeans, sneakers and a long sleeved shirt (it’s like 90 degrees and 100% humidity, mind you) and climbed the wooden fence. As suspected, he was back there but he didn’t look right.

I climbed and scooted and crawled around and under all kinds of crazy stuff to get to him and he kept scuttling away. Spider webs of mammoth proportions were everywhere and about a thousand mosquitoes were swarming around my face (apparently they’re attracted to carbon dioxide) and the little bastard wouldn’t let me get closer than about 2 feet. I even tried to bribe him with food but he scuttled away and over the back fence. I KNOW he’s sick or something but I can’t help him if I can’t catch his wily ass.

The bright side? The house is wicked clean for the first time in ages and we won’t be here tomorrow to mess it up. WIN.


  • Virginia says:

    Nice Kitters…..good luck with that! Bring that cat back a big old fish from Seaworld. Our turnup cat just likes to back into my face while I am sleeping so I see the center of her bagel there in my face and she wraps that tail around my neck. Nothing like opening your eyes and seeing that and feeling like you are choking! I am jealous of your house right now!

  • ElGuappa says:

    Hiya! Thanks for visiting my blog recently, and leaving a comment (always great). Your blog is fantastic. I love the caption ‘where it’s always amateur night’…I am tempted to say that about my life sometimes, lol, as we all are I’m sure. Cleaning! I’m the same way. I’m so busy trying to keep the noggin screwed on tight, cleaning usually gets dropped. Drop by anytime. Have a great day! E

  • Miss Britt says:

    You cleaned AND went chasing after your cat in a dirty forest?

    Color me impressed.
    .-= Miss Britt’s last blog post…The Wedding Incident =-.

  • I hate when I clean my guest room and then the guest doesn’t sleep over. My guest room is in serious state of disarray right now. I hope now one pulls this on me anytime soon. I’ll be livid. haha.
    .-= Amanda of Shamelessly Sassy’s last blog post…Son of a Preacher Man =-.

    • IzzyMom says:

      I think potential house guests should make their intentions clear before they come so we KNOW if we really need to clean the guest room or not. Think of all the things we could be doing instead of cleaning—blogging, twittering, blogging, twittering…

  • Jenny Talia says:

    Why do we always clean BEFORE parties??
    I know it’s a waste of time, yet I still do it too
    Hope yours stays clean for at least a few days!!

  • beachmom says:

    congratulations on both surviving AND now enjoying your clean house!! and yes, I agree about elmo and sesame street for a 4 year old, maybe one dancin’ elmo just for the giggles, but mine were certainly done with the ‘magic’ of sesame street by 4!!
    .-= beachmom’s last blog post…weigh in wednesday =-.

  • This is why my guest room is really my craft room-it is okay if its a bit, okay really messy. Its a creative space. At least you have a really clean house for a bit.
    .-= Domestic Extraordinaire’s last blog post…Sixteen things =-.

  • I never do a mega clean unless company is coming, which is thankfully rare. And my 4yo would have not enjoyed Elmo toys – give him Bakugan, batman or transformers any day (or whatever is the flavor of the week for the 7yo – gotta be just like big bro you know!) Hope kitty is ok!

  • It is precisely because of my hatred of cleaning that I avoid entertaining at all costs. Now, I can throw a blog party sure – that requires no cleaning whatsoever – and no cooking or dishes. That is my kind of entertaining!

    So sorry she didn’t stick around to fully enjoy the cleanliness. But really – then you would have had to wash the bedding. So WIN again for you!
    .-= Janice (5 Minutes for Mom)’s last blog post…5 Minutes for Books: Summer Bridge Activities =-.

  • Patrice says:

    You’re the winner. Even though you took the effort of cleaning the bedroom but she did not stayed even for a night. So, less hassle on your part.

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