A long time ago, I recall seeing wigs for babies and being all What? The Hell. But in all fairness, at least BabyToupee.com recognizes that their wigs fall into the patently ridiculous/OMFG category.
But lo, there’s a new kid on the wig block and they’ve made it their mission to insure no bald-ish baby girls are ever mistaken for boys, thanks to their Baby Bangs. Scariest part? It’s not a joke.
Sure, your daughter will never be mistaken for a boy again when sporting her Baby Bangs but DAMN THEY’RE UGLY!
Something tells me these will be a BIG hit with the beauty pageant moms who seem to function under the premise that natural, un-bedazzled little girls cannot be considered beautiful.
But wait! It gets better because in addition to beribboned baby wigs, there are also… Get ready for it…
HIGH HEELED BABY BOOTIES.
No, I’m not shitting you. Yes, I’m completely serious. And while I think the baby wigs are dumb and rather unattractive, they cannot even begin to touch the Heelarious shoes. Freaky factoid? They’re apparently a pretty hot seller. But WHO buys this shit? Even as a gag, who would actually put those stupid things on their baby???
Is it possible I’ve gone through a wormhole and ended up in some bizarre parallel universe where people DON’T think babies in wigs and high heels is creepy as hell?
My oracle tells me you can soon look forward to baby spray tans and tiny little Lee Press-On nails for the diaper set. Add a wig and some heels and see how SEXAY your baby can be!
Dontcha wish your baby was HOTT like mine…dontcha wish your baby was a freak like mine?
I suspect I’ll get at least one or two comments from people saying “Baby Bangs and Heelarious heels r soooo cute! Ur just jelus u dint think of it first and u jus hate pageant moms cuz ur baby isnt pretty”