Just Looking…or Maybe Not
I was reading the paper online this morning and came across this article about a study that says people in committed relationships, on the whole, quickly look away when they encounter an attractive member of the opposite sex. Apparently, they typically don’t even know they’re doing it; that it’s some sort of automatic response, presumably to “buffer against infidelity.”
So I’m reading this and I’m like “Hey—I do that” and it does feel sort of..automatic. I mean I see men with women, looking at OTHER women all the time and they’re totally cavalier about it and I? Am looking away like I’m some kind of schoolgirl, which I’m SO NOT. But are those guys just uncommitted cads???
Actually, I’ve noticed my husband looking away lots of times and I just figured he was trying to be respectful (or not provoke any kind of painful elbowing to the ribs, as his ex girlfriend was fond of doing to him) by not blatantly gawking at other attractive women in my presence, which I thought, you know, was pretty cool. Me? Naive? Poppycock!
Now that I know about this, perhaps I should test myself and see if I react the same. Might be fun…heh. Or maybe it won’t make any difference at all and I’ll be all “Oh! What lovely shelving this store has!”
I did it. For 6 years.
Because of the ex’s insecurities, him knowing he was nothing too special in the looks department and being an ass to *me* over it. I won’t do it anymore.
I LIKE HOT MEN! and when I see them I’ll no longer act like a magnet has pulled my head the other direction. I see you. But I won’t fuck you. So it’s cool.
:D
Maria’s last blog post..Some Rights Reserved
interesting..i’m in a committed marriage. i have been for almost 11 years…but i check out hot guys all the damn time.
ali’s last blog post..typical
I’m in a committed relationship, but I routinely like to check out cute guys. I like to window shop too, but I don’t ever just run in and throw my wallet on the counter and scream “give it to me!” (you fill in dirty metaphor yourself.”)
I have also been known to point out fat booties and large boobs to my partner. What can I say, we are lookers.
Lucie @ Unconventional Origins’s last blog post..Hair and Anti-Racist Parenting - a Lesson Learned
I’m in a committed relationship, but last night, this absolutely stunning man came thru my line at work - tall, in amazing shape, bright blue eyes and a dazzling smile. The droollicious Australian accent was icing on the gorgeous cake. I will admit to gazing admiringly at him. And possibly fanning myself after he left.
Maybe that study only counts when you’re in the company of your partner.
Major Bedhead’s last blog post..Things I Don’t Get
I probably do it, but I don’t know. I’m not so good at keeping my thoughts to myself when it comes to controlling my face. I’m pretty sure it’s why I’m not in sales.
I probably do it, but I don’t know. I’m not so good at keeping my thoughts to myself when it comes to controlling my face. I’m pretty sure it’s why I’m not in sales.
I probably do it, but I don’t know. I’m not so good at keeping my thoughts to myself when it comes to controlling my face. I’m pretty sure it’s why I’m not in sales.
I probably do it, but I don’t know. I’m not so good at keeping my thoughts to myself when it comes to controlling my face. I’m pretty sure it’s why I’m not in sales.
I’ve always done this, though I actually realized it and have tried to stop. If the guy happens to catch my eye with his, though, suddenly the trees are really interesting. I’ve watched my husband do the same thing. But like Lucie, we point people out to each other sometimes. We’re a good fit for each other.
No way. I’ve been with my husband 15 years and married for almost 12 and we regularly check out good looking people together.
He’ll nudge me to gander at some hot chick and I’ll do the same for him.
Hmmm. Maybe this just means we’re swingers in training.
Somehow I doubt it though.
Redneck Mommy’s last blog post..A Brain is a Terrible Thing to Waste
By this logical extension, there are no committed married men in strip clubs (or the ones that are know the intimate details of the tiling jobs on the floors).
SciFi Dad’s last blog post..Assorted
Seconding RM above… me and the mister have 14 years together and we do the same thing; we point out hawt chicks/dudes to each other.
What’s funny, though, is that Hunky insists that when a guy signs, it instantly makes them hawt-er. When we’re out and about and signing, he says he gets waaaayyyy more glances and elevator looks. (Ya know, the UP aaannnddd DOWN.)
Dory’s last blog post..Can’t Remember Diddly!
Actually being able to do the check or have the check done on me, without feeling like crap, is part of how I knew SB was the right one for me. Plus I really have a hard time not checking out someone who looks like Viggo Mortensen. Just sayin’
Funny. I guess I do that too. Maybe I’m just afraid that I’ll have EC with a hot guy and he’ll be able to tell I totally want to ride his nose. Then, I’m finished.
Hmmm…I think there’s definitely something to this. I always thought I simply lived in an area with very few hotties; maybe they’re there, and I’m just looking away.
Sparrow’s last blog post..Fewer than 36 Hours Left!
come on people. i say who the hell doesn’t honestly check out attractive people of the opposite (or same, i suppose) sex? it’s normal.
When I’m with my wife, I’m very respectful of her feelings, so while I might glance at a woman, I’ll never double take her. And I don’t mean to brag, but my wife is the hottest woman ever so its more than easy to keep the eyes in their pants.
Chris’s last blog post..Awkward Line Behavior
When I’m alone, I look at the hunky boys to my little heart’s content. Of course, no eye contact. When I’m with the hubs, it’s just a glance and then I move on. I’m pretty sure he’s secure in our relationship, but no need to rub anything in his face.
I’m unattached at the moment so look all I want, but when I was married I’m pretty sure I looked away…unless the guy resembled Johnny Depp.
I think its natural to look, my only problem is when it turns into gawking. My loser ex-boyfriend used to blatantly stare at other women’s chests, including my friends! THAT is just rude!
Hannah’s last blog post..Brightest Blue
I’ve got to say it depends on whom I’m with. If I’m with my husband? Yeah, totally not looking. With my kids or by myself? Hell, I’m invisible anyway, so why not look?
patois’s last blog post..Haiku: Fork in the Road
That was good.. I remember couple years back I was walking with the husband on the street, and he said to me “hey, I saw that.” …and I was like “You saw what?” and he was like “You were totally checking that guy out, I saw you do the head to toe look over…”
Too funny, and yeah, we do talk like a couple of Valley Girls even though we’re firmly entrenched in our 40s. How sad.
Karen MEG’s last blog post..Answer Period Part 1
I point out hot girls for my guy to look at and he doesn’t comment if I look at hot guys. As long as we are going home with each other, what harm does it do?
See now, that’s another thing I thought I was the only one who did that. I do it out of respect. I do it to let the hubs know that he is the only one for my eyes.
I’m thinking I should go ahead and scrap that…you only live once, right?
Mia’s last blog post..It’s Time to Fly
Sneak preview for you…http://www.generalhysteria.com/2009/03/marie-antionette
Mia’s last blog post..Is It Bedtime Yet?
I found that if I catch my hubs checking someone out, I just say “Really? My boobs are bigger” and that totally distracts them.
I take it that this means you fully plan to cheat on me because I have seen you damn near break a spinal disc trying to keep your eyes on some HAWT young thing…do the words “WE got money!!!!” mean anything to you? (I think that’s what it was, I’ll have to confirm that with the gals)
Anissa@Hope4Peyton’s last blog post..Peyton rocks the runway…again!
I don’t know if I do that or not - but I know that Jared does. That kind of makes me feel all warm and fuzzy now. :-)
Miss Britt’s last blog post..Dolphin Bubbles at SeaWorld - cool or sad?
Just love your writing and observations. Came to you through Verybadcat. She is a friend and thinks a lot of your writing as well and that directed me here. Just wanted you to know that it is enjoyed.
hey! I do that too! And so does the hubby. Huh!
And mighty good looking lookers you are ;)
You know, I tend to think it does pertain to being in the company of your partner because if nobody ever looked at anyone reasonably attractive beyond a cursory glance, married people would probably never have affairs!
Oh come on…you guys are so gorgeous—you’re a key party just waiting to happen ;)
You could be right about that… I’m thinking the study means that people look away quickly at first but I don’t think it precludes looking back again, particularly at strip clubs!
Well, with a nickname like Hunky, I would fully expect he’s worth a second or third look!
ride his nose…roflmao!
Awww…that’s such a nice thing to say about your wife (and I know it’s true because I’ve met her)
You’re definitely gettin’ some nookie tonight!
Katie! *gasp* How could you?! ;)
You probably look away? Or just LOOK?!
I think you’ll have to force yourself to look…you know, for RESEARCH ;)
Yes, I know the trees and the ceiling tiles and that thing right over yonder very well :)
@The Caffeinatrix, I know this will come as a shock, but I am only human (a hot-blooded Viggo-hungry human).
@The Caffeinatrix, Honestly, I’m not sure which. I recall seeing some fairly hot guys wandering about, so I guess I’m looking?
@The Caffeinatrix, Honestly, I’m not sure which. I recall seeing some fairly hot guys wandering about, so I guess I’m looking?
@The Caffeinatrix, Honestly, I’m not sure which. I recall seeing some fairly hot guys wandering about, so I guess I’m looking?
@The Caffeinatrix, Honestly, I’m not sure which. I recall seeing some fairly hot guys wandering about, so I guess I’m looking?
Precisely.
Wow, what an awesome comment. Thank you :)
Yeah, it IS kind of nice, isn’t it?