Did Motherhood Steal Your Mojo?

Posted by on February 20, 2009

There are lots of ways to spice up your sex life but I’m pretty sure that the video below is not the tool upon which you should be basing your strategy…unless you find that laughter is an aphrodisiac—in which case, grab the object of your affection and watch it together. Hell, you may even learn something in between snickers and snorts…

The Video Guide to Successful Seduction

Best line: “In Detroit, you need a dollar, a 12 pack of beer, a gram of coke and a whip”  I wonder if that’s still true? Heh.

Sadly, trying to spice up one’s marriage after the rigors of birthing and raising little people was not covered at all in this “guide” which is too bad because as I recall, being newly maternal was akin to someone dropping an atom bomb on my physical self-esteem.

Did motherhood steal your mojo? Did you ever get it back? Discuss!


14 Comments

  • Anonymous says:

    Did motherhood steal my mojo? Hell yes it did. I look back at the woman I was before kids and I hardly recognize myself. And my sex life is so predictable and robotic that you could set your clock by it. Basically, I don’t feel like I can be a sexual person and be a mom at the same time and I feel sorry for my husband.

  • Maria says:

    I don’t even remember what mojo felt like.

  • heels says:

    I have not been nearly as interested in sex since having children, but I feel that it’s more an issue of fatigue and hormone-change-induced libido-waning than feeling that I can’t be a mother and a sexual person all in one package. I do have to say, though, that, when we do have sex now, I am MUCH more comfortable telling my husband what I do and do NOT like. It’s as if becoming a mother empowered me to take back the control of my body (as it’s one of the few things I feel I CAN control now!) when it comes to sex. I should be in control of what is done to me, right? I will not just be a cum-dumpster! (Not that my husband EVER treated me that way, I just sort of started feeling that way about sex…) I think it’s a good thing- less frequent but better-quality sex.

  • Sarah says:

    I would say my mojo came back bigtime AFTER kids. My hormones were so screwed up before kids (took me three yearss to get preggie) that pregnancy seemed to balance them out. My cycle is normal and I love it.

    Now, it is just the normal kid-raising induced tiredness that gets in the way.

    What helps? Sleep. Buying clothes that fit and not wearing sweatpants or anything like that everyday. Except when you work out. Working out is a huge mojo booster. Seriously, a good pair of jeans and a nice top can go a long way. Regular trips the beauty salon help too. In other words, spend some time and money on you!

  • Nadine says:

    I feel so much stronger since I’m a mom. Overall I’m feeling better, in every aspect of my life. So yes, sexual too.

  • kittenpie says:

    It’s the tired and the no time that has killed it for me. I figure once the new Bun is a bit older we might have a shot at getting some of that back, because once Pumpkinpie was a bit older and had a regular bedtime and schedule, it wasn’t so bad. For me, it’s not feeling like I shouldn’t be sexual, it’s just not having time and energy. The other thing that can make it hard to get in the mood is the perpetual to do list running in thehead of a mother, of course. It’s hard to put that down and start something.

  • Emily says:

    I did feel less sexy when I became a mom. When we would go out places, I couldn’t help but notice all the women that were not sporting a muffin top of loose postpartum skin, leaky boobs and raccoon eyes, that had their nails done and clothing trendier than anything in my closet, including the maternity stuff I was still wearing 6 months after giving birth.

    Part of me knew it was unrealistic to compare myself to them but it was still a big self-esteem killer and that did nothing to help my flagging libido or self image.

    Now that my baby is a little older and I’ve lost some of the weight, I feel a lot better but not great. I do kind of feel like “I’m someone’s mom now— watching porn or buying sex toys is totally not a mom thing to do” and I don’t know how to get past this.

    The only thing that has really helped is reading blogs and knowing I’m not alone and that having a baby is hard on most women so thank you for posting about this. (I hope it’s okay to post under a fake name and email because this is all really embarrasing to talk about)

  • BigSea says:

    Oh HELL yes. My 3 month old is a total night owl so time alone is next to impossible. Not to mention that I’m the heaviest I’ve ever been and could ever hope to be. And that I just feel, well, gross most of the time except for immediately after a shower.

    Motherhood has definitely stolen my mojo. But I’ll get it back. I know I will.

  • LAH says:

    Becoming a mother didn’t change my sex life at all!!! I couldn’t (and didn’t) wait for those 6 weeks to pass after childbirth before reconnecting with my husband. Maybe it had to do with my age? I was 19 when my first was born (I was 18 when we married). Our children are grown now (23 and 21), and we have always been and are still extremely active. Of course I’m only 42 now, so still quite young!

  • fiona says:

    Laugh out loud funny! Ha… haaaaaaa! Oh yeah, it’s all about eye contact.

    Mojo on the mend… sorta

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  • Nolan Vasque says:

    Greetings from Denmark. This is a cool site. I’m wondering if you have any advice on staying out of the friend zone with women? Honestly I’m sick of girls telling me they just want to be friends. Maybe I’m being too nice?

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