Streams of Consciousness

Posted by on January 30, 2009

On my old blog, I would hate myself for doing a post like this; all meandering-ish, directionless—BUT ON THIS BLOG? I will do whatever dumb, ill-conceived thing I want! It’s a whole new game and I? Am a GAMECHANGER!

Am I the only one who is already sick of that stupid word?

Also sick of?  Social networking guru, webpreneur and mompreneur. These should be stricken from the LEXICON.

Wait, I like lexicon. It’s a cool word. (We shall not, however, discuss my abuse and occasional bastardization of the words “awesome”)

As you may or may not have noticed, I haven’t blogged a damn thing in over a week, it’s been a real humdinger (and I’m apparently an 87 yr old man). Naturally, this leads to guilt, which is SO absurd because really, who is making me feel guilty about not writing? The blog police? All my legions of fans? Heh. It’s actually rather  arrogant and self-important of me, don’t you think?

Tuesday was my husband’s 40th birthday. We were supposed to throw a big party this weekend but I’ll tell you a little secret… *stage whispers* I really don’t want to have a party. That means we would have to fix our “you have to flush it four times in a very special way” low-flow toilet which will cost a small fortune, so we just…haven’t. That’s  kind of a dealbreaker if you’re gonna have a ton of potentially drunk people at your house, right? I mean there’s no way a drunk person could flush the toilet four  times in a very special way…  And frankly, I don’t need to be judged on my toilet issues.

Also, I would have to clean extensively. I think I’ve already established in previous posts that I will do no such thing —especially since I’d have to clean it all AGAIN the next day. And? I never have fun at parties I’m hosting. NEVER.

I’m thinking since the Superbowl is this weekend, we’ll probably have a get-together out someplace that has a properly functioning toilet. Or two. This will probably happen after BlissDom which is next weekend. (Yes, despite the fact that I am neither blissful nor domestic, I’m going. Please find me and introduce yourself. I don’t bite but I might lick you if you smell really good. Whaaa? Is that a problem?)

So anyway, thinking that I would be expending tons of money and time on a party for the huz, I didn’t go ALL OUT for the huz’s birthday but it was nice… I made a kick-ass dinner (rare around here), baked an awesome triple chocolate cake and got him a few nifty things…one of which is this t-shirt. It’s so him.

I also got us him a French Press. Why didn’t anyone ever tell me how much BETTER coffee tastes when you make it in one those? Really, internet…I thought we were sympatico, that you would never keep such important things from me. You disappoint me *sigh*

* The awesomelicious Youtube vid I embedded was getting all glitchety so I had to take it down. Your loss ;)


44 Comments

  • Here’s a deal. Every time you hear/read me use the world “truly”, you can just punch me in the ear and every time you say or type “awesome” I’ll rip out a handful of your hair. Deal?

    Seriously? We have 5 days until we board planes..I got excitement oozing from my pores…which means I’ll be all zitty and ugly for the actual event, but who cares?

    Anissa@hope4peyton’s last blog post..Links for 2009-01-29 [Digg]

  • Chris says:

    “Low flow” is a buzzword I could do without. Low Flow means “Chris Pissed” and I don’t mean that in a No. 1 kind of way.

    Chris’s last blog post..Safety First

  • SciFi Dad says:

    Sometimes I fart while I’m peeing and it makes a big mess.

    SciFi Dad’s last blog post..Knowing Best

  • Sparrow says:

    Oooh! Please do a post about Blissdom after you attend! I’m fascinated (and poor, so not attending).

    Sparrow’s last blog post..Things I Heartily Endorse

  • Kelley says:

    Meh at the french press woman. I have my own personal BARISSTA!

    How ever you spell that damn word…

    He is out buying me chocolate, but when he gets back I am getting him to make you a double shot skinny latte. Cause he rocks the double shot skinny latte.

    And I will drink it in your honour.

    Oh and we totally had one of those special flush toilets. Only got fixed when we sold our house. I kind miss it, in a sadomasochistic way.

    Kelley’s last blog post..I suck. With bullets.

  • Honestly? I could do without most of the “mom-” words. “Mom” is not a prefix.

    “Lexicon” is rad, and “awesome” is still awesome.

  • Neil says:

    Wait a minute — is that video of your husband twirling his new French Press?

    Neil’s last blog post..Why Do You Continue Blogging?

  • I was truly worried about you. But you’re back, so that’s awesome. Seriously, truly awesome.

    (Just slap me. 4th grade humor is so hard to resist.)

    Speaking of toilet issues . . . did I ever tell you that after our house fire, our toilet sat on our porch for FIVE MONTHS while our contractor toyed with us? That’s some serious (oops) low-flow, sister.

  • Mr. Mom says:

    Low flow toilets are the shits. How can they possibly save the environment by saving water when you have to flush them four times? Go buy an antique toilet that has about a five gallon tank. You know the kind that you can flush a bowling ball chained to a fireplace log. Then if a drunk craps an Indian war club, no worries.

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    I am so laughing at “Indian war club” right now. It’s almost funnier than “bowl winder”, which is currently one of my favorite terms. I know. I’m four.

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    I am so laughing at “Indian war club” right now. It’s almost funnier than “bowl winder”, which is currently one of my favorite terms. I know. I’m four.

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    I am so laughing at “Indian war club” right now. It’s almost funnier than “bowl winder”, which is currently one of my favorite terms. I know. I’m four.

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    I am so laughing at “Indian war club” right now. It’s almost funnier than “bowl winder”, which is currently one of my favorite terms. I know. I’m four.

  • Sparrow says:

    I would totally not throw a party if I had a wonky toilet.

    Actually, our master bath’s toilet just got an odd leak around the seal, and I am *so relieved* that this happened AFTER we hosted about 40 people here for my son’s birthday two weeks ago. Had the leak appeared before the party, well…I’d rather not think about that.

    Sparrow’s last blog post..Score! And Hair Talk

  • Kuba says:

    I have you beat on the whole “not having a party because you don’t want to clean” thing…. I am currently the laughingstock of my female friends because I let slip that one of the reasons I’m not dating anyone right now is because I’d have to clean the damn house up, something I’m just not feeling like doing…… there is NO limit to my laziness in that area…. still laughing at “Indian War Club”…. and since someone else brought it up, I feel I can mention that I went into the bathroom at work a couple of weeks ago, and, Holy God, there was such a large “deposit” left in one of the toilets, it wasn’t even funny……I was thinking “WTF??? why would someone not flush that??”, so I flushed it, and the answer became very obvious….. it was so big, it would not go down, didn’t even MOVE, just laid there straddling the hole…..ugh….. my apologies if someone is offended by the above story, but I’m still traumatized by the size of that thing….. whoever birthed it should have given it a name….

  • Sarah says:

    My hubs brought home a french press a few months back and I appreciate how much smaller it is than the big ol’ coffeemaker.

    Sarah’s last blog post..The Ladyrather Diary

  • Happy Bday to your hubby.

    Drunk people can’t even flush once.

  • nicopolitan says:

    A new reader and getting quickly addicted! :)

    I work in an industry where buzzwords litter the sidewalks, so I very much empathize with your intro on this post.

    Note on the French Press: Keep it tidy! Coffee will remain incredible tasting as long as the French Press is clean. This applies to most coffee makers I suppose, but the taste difference is very noticeable with a French Press.

    nicopolitan’s last blog post..Some Rights Reserved

  • heels says:

    We’ve had only a French Press for about 2 years now. We have the Bodum Columbia 8-cup because we kept smashing the glass kind. The stainless makes it the best coffee maker EVER.

  • Jennifer says:

    I’m a tea drinker, so I don’t have a ton of coffee experience. But I will say that the best coffee I’ve ever had was brewed in a French Press.

    Now you need a cozy to keep the coffee warm.

    http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=20021352

    I have nothing to add to the low-flow toilet vs. poo conversation.

  • roo says:

    Just explain to your party guests that your toilet is
    a french press.

    You can’t believe how much better your shit smells
    with one of those things…

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    Our low-flow is ancient… One can only hope technology has improved in the past 20 yrs because I’m one flush away from taking a hammer to the damn thing so we HAVE to get a new one.

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    Nobody likes a bragger, Kelley. *seething with jealousy*

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    You left a toilet on that gorgeous porch of yours? Seriously shameful! Truly not awesome!

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    I know, I know…But see, while you’re flushing it four times, the first three are just to build pressure. No water comes until the last grateful flush. I can still claim to be green and not be a total liar!

    Indian war club? ROFL That’s a new one on me!

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    I know, right? I could easily make an exhaustive list of stupid mom buzzwords that should be stricken from ye olde lexicon…

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    Bowlwinder is an all-time favorite but it saddens me that there are so few situations in life where you can use it with impunity—especially since some people don’t get it and then you have to explain it. Talk about awkward…

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    Would that be streams of semi-consciousness?

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    @The Caffeinatrix, However, there’s always: “I just got back from the ladies room and you wouldn’t believe the bowl winder someone left behind.” It kind of explains itself. Perhaps it can even serve as a social gauge. Whoever doesn’t laugh won’t be invited next time.

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    @The Caffeinatrix, However, there’s always: “I just got back from the ladies room and you wouldn’t believe the bowl winder someone left behind.” It kind of explains itself. Perhaps it can even serve as a social gauge. Whoever doesn’t laugh won’t be invited next time.

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    @The Caffeinatrix, However, there’s always: “I just got back from the ladies room and you wouldn’t believe the bowl winder someone left behind.” It kind of explains itself. Perhaps it can even serve as a social gauge. Whoever doesn’t laugh won’t be invited next time.

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    @The Caffeinatrix, However, there’s always: “I just got back from the ladies room and you wouldn’t believe the bowl winder someone left behind.” It kind of explains itself. Perhaps it can even serve as a social gauge. Whoever doesn’t laugh won’t be invited next time.

  • Caffeinatrix says:

    Now, would they not be invited back because they’re kind of dumb, they don’t share your sense of humor or because they probably left the bowlwinder and thus, did not find it funny?

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    @Caffeinatrix, I’ll go with D) All of the above.

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    @Caffeinatrix, I’ll go with D) All of the above.

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    @Caffeinatrix, I’ll go with D) All of the above.

  • Apryl's Antics says:

    @Caffeinatrix, I’ll go with D) All of the above.

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    Nobody is happier than me to get that godawful hunk of nasty plastic off my counter!

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    whoever birthed it should have given it a name….

    lololololol…funniest thing I’ve heard all day.

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    Thank you and you know what? You’re right. How many times have you been to a club and every toilet in the women’s bathroom is completely filled toilet paper, among other things?

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    Thanks for the tip. I’ve thought of you twice in the last 24 hours while washing out the French Press!

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    I’ve had my eye on that stainless steel one. When we make the jump from an 8 cup (which is really like 3 cups of coffee) to a 12, I want the SS one.

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    rofl…if only that were true!

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    I had no idea such a thing even existed. They’re so cute.

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