I Want a Do-Over

Posted by on January 12, 2009

There’s the moment you can tell someone is gonna hurl all over you and the moment they actually do. In between those two moments is that period where everything happens in superrrrr-slowwwww motionnnnn and you can do nothing but watch as your youngest projectile vomits all over you, your bed AND your favorite flat pillow that’s taken years to get just right.

This isn’t the first time that’s happened. Or the second. You’d think I would have learned by now to DO SOMETHING—or at least get out of the way.

And now he wants to eat cookies and go to the park because he feels SO! MUCH! BETTER!

I want a do-over.


  • How old is he? Because mine is 13 and during the recent stomach flu that swept our house, he hurled all over the place. Not on my stuff, for which I’m exceedingly grateful, but all over his stuff, which still required cleaning and mopping and laundry and, eh!

    So just sayin’ — it doesn’t get that much better ’til they leave and you only have your own hurling to deal with.

  • Jennifer says:


    Let’s see. A cup of tea, the paper, NPR, snoozing labradors at my feet. Nary a barfing child anywhere.
    My morning was lovely, thank you for asking :-)

  • ali says:

    oh. that moment. i fucking HATE that moment.

  • verybadcat says:

    See, that’s by far the scariest part about having kids. All the puke. It’s what holds me back. Well, that and the absolute lack of free time and/or privacy, but really? Mostly the puke.

    My morning was okay. A Monday morning at work. So at least there was coffee that I didn’t have to make…….

  • Chris says:

    They are just pooping and barfing machines aren’t they? And I love how unselfconcious they are. One minute playing with the blocks, next minute barfing, minute after that playing with blocks.

  • PunditMom says:

    Hmmm, don’t know of that was worse than listening to Bush’s news conference with all the delusional self-promotion. OK, yours was worse! :)

  • Brooke says:

    Ha. At least yours gives you some kind of warning that you know it’s coming.

    Christmas Eve, driving home from my parents.. I turned around (while driving – I know, I’m that person) to check on my son and he was fine. Three minutes later, I smelled it. I turned around again.. he had thrown up all over himself and fallen back asleep.

    Did I mention I’m a sympathy puker? Not a good quality for a mom. Worst car ride ever.

  • Sarah says:

    Oh man. I feel your pain on the pillow things. Just when the experts tell me my pillow is old, it is just getting comfortable.

    I hope the rest of the day is less pukey.

  • patois says:

    Been there, done that. Repeatedly. My sympathies go to you, though. Hope the guy got some cookies for his trouble. And what did you get for yours?

  • motherofbun says:

    Oy. My morning was definitely not that exciting.

    And I’m thankful for that. ;-)

  • Mirinda says:

    My morning was spent dealing with a PITA developer breathing down my neck and nit-picking over the job I just completed for him….which I’d take over being puked on ANY day of the week!

    My fear is being puked on in my sleep. Each of my precious kids wakes me up at night, leaning over me snoozing, to alert me to their tummy trouble. Girl, you will never see me move so fast as when I wake to the sounds of sniffling and “mommy, I think I’m going to throw up”!

    And I giggled about the pillow. Though it’s not really funny. That sucks.

  • SciFi Dad says:

    My daughter’s too young for that moment. With her, it’s “Daddy, I don’t feel so…” BLECH. “Noooo!” BLECH “Make it stop, Daddy! MAKE IT STOP!” BLECH. “WAHHH!!” BLECH

    And then I pass out.

  • Cara says:

    I never thought that catching my child’s vomit in my hand would seem like the better option, and yet, that’s just what I did the night before last. Yum.

  • Erin says:

    Ugh! Damn kids and their precarious vomiting! Mine used to projectile vomit at the dinner table with absolutely NO warning. Pleasant, that one.

  • You’ve got to admire the rebound.

    Vomit makes me well… vomit.

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    Hes three and a half and I’m definitely his favorite go-to person when he feels hurlish. My daughter used to wait for my husband to pick her up when she wasn’t feeling well and then vomit down his back.

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    My daughter used to do that.

    “Daddy, pick me up. I don’t feel so…GLOOOOK! SPLAT!”

    Right down his back. Every time. Must be a dad thing, huh?

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    People should be required to take a “Dealing with Vomit” class before breeding because it’s one thing, besides pee and poop, that you can count on having to clean up eventually!

  • The Caffeinatrix says:

    Nobody likes a bragger, you know ;)

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