About once or twice a year, I find myself writing about my how quickly my babies are growing up. I know it’s a well-worn path in the mommy blogosphere but I find myself there once again and I simply cannot suppress the urge to put my melancholy into words.
My daughter is eight now. Eight. When I was a kid, I knew girls that were getting boobs at nine. Boobs. Breasts. Puberty. Nine.
I often find myself wondering how much longer it will be before she rejects me altogether and retreats into her secret tween world where moms are hopelessly lame and most unwelcome. I shudder and feel slightly sick thinking about it.
Last night, my husband and I were musing at how she has really blossomed this year; really come into her own, so to speak. Even her Brownie troop leader noticed it at the first post-summer meeting. Theoretically, this is a good thing and yet, sitting on the porch, I actually cried about her growing up and becoming this, this…person. It’s silly, I know.
She’s something of an enigma to me, my daughter. She’s similar to me in so many ways and yet so different. Sometimes I wonder if this is, simply put, the way of the mother-daughter relationship.
Interestingly enough, however, I find that as she matures, there is much more for us to share. Last weekend we watched “The Devil Wears Prada” together. The weekend before that we watched “Little Women.” I was secretly thrilled that she was interested enough to sit down and watch with me. It gave me hope that maybe we aren’t so different after all.
In any case, I’m working on trying to keep her close to me, to build a bridge between us that will withstand pubertal mood swings, teenage tantrums and any other unforeseen curveballs.
It’s not as easy as it sounds. Breaking old habits and trying to incorporate new, more effective ways of relating to my kids takes a certain amount of discipline, which I don’t naturally possess. I just hope I can keep it up. This growing-up thing is agonizing to me, at times. Dealing with a sullen, distant pre-teen child in the near future would probably send me over the edge…
On the same topic, I’ve been reading a book called “Hold on to Your Kids: Why Parents Need to Matter More Than Peers.” Peers aren’t yet an issue for us but I’m reading it because it was recommended to me by Cristina, my partner over at Green Mom Finds. This book has helped me to understand the nature of children in ways I never did before and it suddenly all seems so obvious. *smacks head* I won’t bore you with the details but I highly, HIGHLY recommend it.
Have you noticed I’ve been away from the computer a lot the past week or two? Not much blogging happening and almost no twittering… It’s AMAZING how much stuff you can actually get done when you pretend blogs don’t exist — like finish the other three books in the Twilight saga AND start reading the partial draft for book five.
Is there something wrong with me (like severe arrested development) that though I’m a grown woman, I STILL enjoy “young adult” fiction?