Have You Met My Son?

Posted by on August 17, 2008

My son, my baby, turned three in June. And like every parent has said at least once, where has the time gone? When I started this blog he was not quite six months old.

I don’t write about my kids a whole lot, at least not in depth, for various reasons and because of that, you probably don’t know much about my son, whom I normally refer to as P (He really needs a better alias).

Well, as you may have guessed, he’s undeniably cute. Women everywhere fawn all over the cuteness. And his hair. It brings all the ladies to the yard.

He’s also an endless source of amusement for me. He recently went through this period where if you said or did something he didn’t like he’d go “Dooooon’t. Doooooo. Daaaat!” with big breaths in between each word, which always made me laugh.

Now he says “You ‘noyin me!” if you say or do something he’s not down with. (He learned it from his sister, who learned it from her friend, which kind of annoys ME) I know, it probably doesn’t sound that funny — unless you can see and hear him actually say it, in which case it’s freaking hilarious.

But if I laugh when he’s being serious, he gets all indignant and says “Dat NOT FUNNY, Mama!” which he learned from me because I’ve said “It’s not funny” to him many times for laughing while I’m trying to explain why he shouldn’t turn the oven on or pull the cat’s tail or some other potentially dangerous misdeed.

However, he’s got this impish quality that makes it nearly impossible to get truly upset at him — but if you you do he says “You MEAN me, Mommy! You make me SAD!”

Mean? Sad? Oy. Even though I know his charges are absurd, it’s still like a knife to the heart…

Today, I moved my bread machine from the kitchen counter to the floor without a second thought. I needed the space. What could possibly happen?

“Mommeeeeee!!! My brother is peeing in the bread machine!!!” yelled my daughter. (She often refers to him as “my brother” like I don’t know who he is)

I run into the kitchen and there he is with his little butt squeezed into the bread machine. Peeing. With a huge grin on his face. I could do nothing but laugh. Then I lifted him out and saw that by some miracle, the pee was only in the baking pan, which is, thankfully, removable and washable.

We have a childproof latch thing on out refrigerator. It’s not a lock but you have to be able to reach it to push the button and undo it. We put it on because when P was younger, he was forever getting into it and bringing me weird things like a bottle of ketchup or a bag of carrots.

When he started bringing me things in glass, I conceded to the latch, which served us well until he finally broke it recently by pulling on the door with all his weight.

Today he brought me a package of feta cheese, insisting I open it and give him some. Later, he got out a container of sour cream and proceeded to eat it with his fingers. Later it was a vegetarian corn dog. And finally, some yogurt. No wonder the kid is never hungry at dinnertime…

Almost every night, I read him a story and then he asks me to sleep in his room. For eight minutes. “Sleep Mama. Sleep my room eight minutes” and then he wraps himself all around me like an octopus or he curls up into a little ball and fits right into the empty space formed by my own curled up body so we’re like two nested C’s.

To quote Forrest Gump, we’re like peas and carrots, P and me. He’s pretty much my constant companion and I’m his. If, when we’re out, someone he doesn’t know starts talking to him and giving him a lot of unwanted attention, he will put his hands on my cheeks and pull me towards him for a kiss. It’s obviously a security thing but it still melts my heart every time.

He can be a handful sometimes but he’s also funny, affectionate and incredibly sweet. I can hardly remember our lives before he came along; it’s like he’s always been here. And I wish so much I could just freeze him at three because tantrums and all, I love this age.

So…I’m going to be really sad when he starts school this Monday. He’ll go from 8-2pm every day, attending a speech-centered preschool program at our local elementary school. He talks and he can mostly get his point across but sometimes we just can’t understand him so this will be really good for him. But still. EVERY. DAY. I know some people are jumping for joy when they’re kids start school but I’m not there yet.

I met his teacher and she seems nice and his class only has six kids in it so he’ll get a lot of attention and I will volunteer as much as I can but I’m still really going to miss my baby…now an official preschooler *sigh*


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  • I am awake and lonely and bored and heavy and syrupy. It was nice to meet your son.

  • motherbumper says:

    P will now forever be in my heart because peeing in small appliances is about the cutest thing I’ve heard in ages.

  • Diana says:

    No, no, P is a good alias, I think. Because your “P” and my “Pea” (who is only slightly older, she’ll be 4 in December) have very similar habits. We too had to put a childproof latch on the ‘fridge. I conceded to it when I awoke at 4am to find her playing ball with the dogs, with three apples from the fruit drawer. Kids!

    Good luck to P in preschool this year, I’m sure he’ll do wonderfully. I am wishing out local school still had a three year old program like they did when The Princess was that age, I think The Pea needs something to focus her energy on, but alas they do not.

  • mJ says:

    I have one like that. He’ll be four in a few months, and likes to throw his indignant moments at me. “DON’T YELL AT MY TISTER!” “OH MY DOD! i CAN’T BELIEBE IT!”

    Yeah. He’s a funny little man.

  • Chris says:

    My 3 year old son is still on vacation with my wife. After reading this, you just made me miss him terribly…

    Oh yeah, he being cute and all, it’s probably because he has great genes. :)

  • kittenpie says:

    Aw. he sounds like a honey, Iz.

  • I want to hear more. Then I want to introduce him to CJ. Other than peeing in the bread machine, they sound like a perfect pair.

  • kaleigh says:

    He sounds wonderful. As the mom of a bigger boy, let me tell you now…it just gets better! I thought nobody could love me like my son at 3. Then I met seven. Holy moly! Get ready to get spoiled over the next few years. (And nine? Not bad at all!!)

  • All Adither says:

    You’re supposed to be able to understand 3-year-olds? Tell that to mine.

  • Oh. Sweet and loveable!

    I have a bread machine that will never see the light of day, I think you should take it and craft it and make it cute and let him have it as his own personal port-a-potty. But, take out the mechanism that actually bakes because that could farking nasty!

  • MLD says:

    He sounds just like my little 3 year old man! They are so precious at this age. Mine started school last week and it killed me. He didn’t even cry, just kept asking would I come back to get him. Like I just randomly drop him places and sometimes don’t return. It upset me more that he DIDN’T cry because it shows me he’s growing and seperating from me :( Awww, now I’m all sad! LOL

  • SciFi Dad says:

    I once tried to pee in the fridge, but I was sleep walking…

    Tell me you said, “Urine the breadmaker” when you caught him.

  • Your post made me smile. It reminds me of my relationship with my now 9yo son. He’s still as sweet as ever.

  • P and Carter sound like they’d be best of friends. Peeing anywhere but the toilet seems to be very interesting to three year olds. LOL

  • HeatherPride says:

    Mmmm, can I come over to your house for a chunk of freshly baked bread? Just kiddin, P sounds like a hunk-a love muffin!!

  • Cathy says:

    I keep hugging my 3-year-old son and saying, “You’re still my baby!” and he says, “I’m NOT a baby.” Just pretend, please.

  • Have I met your son?

    We go so far back we used to pee in VCRs together. Beta.

  • katelin says:

    i think all i would be able to do is laugh too if i saw my kid peeing in a bread maker, that is priceless.

  • Amanda says:

    My son is also 3 and known as the Pea; he will be starting school as soon as we get the call that we have been moved from the waiting list and into the actual school. I am both hoping for and dreading that call because that will mean he is no longer my baby and it breaks my heart! I would love to hear how your P’s transition to school goes because I am imagining all sorts of horrors when I drop my Pea off that first day. I have a feeling it’s going to be me doing all of the crying.

  • My daughter starts preschool soon. It has turned me into a wreck.

  • Amy says:

    This is too cute … one of my little guys will be three soon and he is the character … has been since the moment he was born!

  • Elizabeth says:

    I completely understand and can relate to this post. Kaitlyn is just so impossibly cute right now, I’d like to keep her this age forever if she would just figure out potty training. omg, peeing in the breadmaker! Ha!

    And tell Julie that CJ would have some competition for P’s heart. Can you imagine if P and Kaitlyn got married and had a baby? What kind of blonde, impossibly curly and completely adorable hair their baby would have? *grin*

  • Jaime says:

    HAHAHAHAHAA! Peeing in the bread machine! That is hilarious!!!

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