Something New
Hello gentle reader. So nice of you to drop by.
Or feed read me.
Or allow me into your inbox.
Have I told you lately that I love you?
For reals.
I love you people who take time out of your lives to read my drivelings. I love you in that abstract “I love you, man” beer commercial kind of way — but that doesn’t render the sentiment any less sincere.
Lately, however, I’m just…
I don’t know.
How do I say this?
I’m not feelin’ it.
How is it that one can feel so stifled by a creative endeavor of their own making?
Where’s the fun?
I really don’t want to sit here and whine about blogging because nobody MAKES me do it. And honestly, the blogging gods have been very, very good to me.
It’s just that I don’t sit down and write anymore.
Now I just wait around for inspiration to strike, which would account for my only posting 1-2x per week these days. And let me tell you — it’s not easy being slave to inspiration. She’s an extremely cruel mistress at times.
So why is this, I ask myself? Is my life any less blogworthy than it’s ever been?
Hell no. And if I told you what happened yesterday in the thrift store, you’d totally concur — my days are rife with bloggable material.
Part of me feels like there is just nothing new under the sun when it comes to blogging. I remember when everything was so new and every day was like unwrapping a present. Such excitement!
These days, I feel like no matter what I’m thinking of saying, I’ve either already said it or someone else has or it’s something too personal to share with the entire world, particularly now that my kids are getting older and my eldest can read.
Again, I feel stifled — like I can’t just post five lines of whateverness. Or those “random” thoughts we bloggers are so fond of. No. There has to be a point. Or a moral to the story. Or it has to at least be amusing. There has to be some meat on that bone…
So why these ridiculous standards? I have no idea.
I mean I do have some standards that actually make sense to me… For example, on this blog I will not shill for free stuff (excluding trips because those are an experience). This is MY blog. A memoir, of sorts, of MY life. I don’t want to look back on my life via my blog and find my thoughts on some free cleaning products or cereal or whatever. I’m not knocking it. It’s just not for me.
I think that’s a reasonable standard, no?
However, this other self-imposed thing? I hate it. And thus, I kind of don’t enjoy writing as much as I once did.
Oh, how I wish… How I wish I was one of those people who doesn’t care one whit what other people think…
No…I’m not going to threaten to close my blog. There will be no contrived drama here. If ever do decide to, it will be quick and clean. I despise long goodbyes.
But I am going to try something new.
From this point forward, I’m just going to write what I want regardless of whether it meets some silly criteria based on what I think I *should* be doing. More me. Less pressure. I know for a fact that some of you can relate to this.
It’s a hard habit to break but I have to do it. And if it ruins my blog in the process, at least I’ll know I was true to myself. I can hang it up with no regrets and put my energy into other pursuits.
Oh, holy GHOST. Do you mean to tell me that I’m so late to the table that the people who inspired me are declaring that it’s all been said? I’m screwed.
(Please don’t go!)
The blogging Gods have been kind to you for a reason. You’re good.
I love it.
Words give birth to words. Just keep wriitng them. I like reading your words.
Selfishly, I have to admit that my first thought after reading this was, “Cool. Now she’s going to write more.”
And that? Is a good thing.
brava.
It’s a hard question to answer, but I do think that sometimes we need to take a step back from our blogs and truly ask ourselves why we do blog.
I’ve been in the same predicament as you lately and I’ve decided that I am blogging for me and as much as I don’t want to disappoint any of my readers (not that I have too many), I just don’t have it in my right now to post as much as I used to.
I’m hoping that this will change for me and I hope that you find a good compromise that you are happy with for your blog!
Good luck!
MTM :)
I think it’s a great decision. If you aren’t enjoying it, it’s time to change it up.
Good for you! Isn’t that the whole point of blogging? Writing down whatever you feel like, whenever you feel like, and who cares what anyone else thinks.
So, you have now coaxed me out of the feedreader to ask this: What the hell happened at the thrift store? Do tell.!
I second the motion to share the thrift store story…
and I figure you have to do it your own way, or what’s the point. So if just writing stuff without worry is going to work, then that’s what you do.
No one has the right to ask you to do anything but be yourself…let us have it, we can take it and we love it too.
Am so happy you’ve decided to keep blogging. I was holding my breath there hoping you would keep on going.
More or less or whatever, I’ll read you. And when it feels like one is always looking for the hook it does get easy to “not feel it”. For me the posts ebb and flow and I just gotta bob along and see what brain leaks out.
Just by asking yourself the question you will find an answer.
Sending you blessings to point you in the right direction.
My best,
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call your gram
grammology.com
I’m having the same lack of inspiration lately. Normally it would hit me once a month and now it is a few times a week. It sucks.
You could write out your grocery list and I’d still read it, lady.
I’ve felt that same pressure to have some kind of hook with each post, and then I get disgusted with myself. I’m not competing with anyone - I do this because I like to, and shouldn’t need a hook.
Write what makes you feel good, when you want. I think you’ll feel happier that way.
You have to write what you like and like what you write. The mighty lassie has spoken. Go forth and write to your hearts content! ha ha
You can’t go away - I just found you! Hook or no hook, I like your style. Keep it coming!
You could, if you wanted to spend the time & mental energy, see what I’ve come up with everyday since I decided to do Blog365. It is a challenge I took on to make myself write everyday - and I have the same affliction you do, to have a purpose or point or something meaningful to say to the world - but it has to go away some days so I can just try to win a crazy prize from the Blog365 people.
Really the prize will be that I wrote, however horribly and with mediocrity, every single day.
Best of luck. I’ll be back to check in :)
Weird. I did a similar - but not as eloquent - post yesterday about feeling worried about hitting publish, about the number of subscribers intimidating me and the like.
So I have challenged myself to post every day next week, just to get into the groove of it again. To stop being so critical. To just say what I want to say, perhaps check for spelling mistakes and hit publish.
Like back when it was new and fun.
Dude, I can so totally relate.
It’s a conundrum, to be sure. I’ll feel the lack of bloggy inspiration, and I’ll write less. Then I’ll think, “O.K., I’ll commit to posting every day! That will get the creative juices flowing!”
But then, inevitably, I get totally sick of my own writing when I have to do it, and nothing seems worthy of blogging about.
I think your free-form plan sounds good.
I agree with Christina, I’d read your grocery lists and I definitely want to know what happened in the thrift store! It’s been almost three years, you’ve probably written close to 1,000 posts, yes? Knowing how creative and funny you are, I’m sure you can come up with 1,000 more! Whatever you write, I’ll be reading :)
P.S. there’s that PHOTO of me again, in your Flickr photostream, from BlogHer last year, where I look like I’m shooting laser beams of death out of my eyeballs directly into Jenn Satterwhite. Gah!
I absolutely, positively know what you’re talking about. I’ve been blogging for nearly four years and I found myself veering off course, posting silly, inconsequential things that I thought people would find funny, link to or whatever.
It was really weighing me down. Then, my blog host started hounding me about CPU usage and after a week of trying to figure out what was causing the excess usage, I just said, “poo on this,” and closed it down to start over on wordpress.com.
I have never felt freer to be myself and I’m DETERMINED not to lose myself in the hype anymore.
So boy howdy, do I know how you feel. Write what you want when you want and you’ll find the love of blogging once more. *smile*
i have a funny “blog depression” series on my flckr.