Sometimes They Come Back

The title of this post is actually the name of a Stephen King short story. More specifically, it was from a book of his short stories called “Night Shift” and I read it obsessively; more times than I can count, when I was about ten.

This, however, isn’t about anything scary or macabre.

No, this is just me wondering why people who have wronged me, in terrible ways in some cases, always come back into my life after I’ve totally moved on and forgotten all about them.

When I was 14, a girl who’d been my friend for most of ninth grade did something shitty to me that was apparently so abhorrent that uh… I can’t even remember what it was anymore. I dropped her like a bad habit but lo and behold, a year later she sent me a card and prattled on like we were the dearest of friends. WTF?

When I was 16 a girl that completely screwed me the year before and then moved away wrote me a letter like nothing had ever happened, like we were still friends. She even invited me to come stay at her house in Cocoa Beach. As if.

When I was 18 and in college, another girl who had screwed me over the year before got my phone number from my stepmom (our parents were friends) and just like the others, called me up as if nothing had ever happened and chatted me up for an excruciatingly long time.

A stellar judge of character, wasn’t I?

More recently, however, a girl that I’d been friends with for several years in my late twenties found me through my husband and emailed me full of apologies and chit chat about her life.

She never did anything horrible to me if you don’t count packing up and leaving town without so much as a goodbye. This was someone I had supported endlessly for over four years while she was in an emotionally and psychologically abusive relationship.

I can’t even calculate the number of hours I spent on the phone, listening to her cry, propping her up and helping her plot she and her children’s escape from her very unbalanced asswipe of a baby daddy. She never went through with it and I never got mad or gave up on her like the rest of her friends.

When she moved away, with him, without a word to me, I was truly shocked and maybe a little hurt. My life went on unchanged, though, except that I no longer worried about her or her kids. Five years passed and I’d all but forgotten about her when I received that email in December

She apologized. She acknowledged that I was a good and loyal friend to her; that leaving the way she did was shitty.

And she’s still with him.

She says that life is good but I’m not sure I could ever believe that. He was a royal mindf*cker; completely incapable of accepting any responsibility for his abusive behavior. He actually told her one time, in front of me, that she LIKED being treated badly and that it was her own fault. That she MADE him be that way. I have a hard time imagining someone like that could change.

And frankly? I have no interest in finding out. I have my own life and my own problems.

So I never replied to her email and she recently wrote my husband asking if I’d received said email or not. He says I should reply.

I told him that I don’t feel compelled in the least to do so. I don’t hate her or wish anything bad upon her. I just really don’t care to pursue the matter.

For Two Days I Was a Better Mother and a Better American

You may or may not have noticed that this site was down for almost three days, as were all the other sites hosted on my account like Green Mom Finds and Moms Speak Up. I blame the butthead that had twelve MILLION files (literally) on the server.

At first I was agitated when i couldn’t get to any them. I actually didn’t know what to do with myself at night as I spend a significant amount of time each night tending to all things blog-related, like the fabulous new Green Mom Finds.

But suddenly, I found myself with plenty of time in the evenings. Time to fold laundry; time to pick up the house, time to work on other projects, time to flip through magazines and of course, watch more non-CNN-on-in-the-background-while-I-work-TV. I’m talking trashy reality TV, multiple recorded episodes of Nip/Tuck, random music videos. I even watched something completely vanilla and pedestrian during primetime. Yes, I admit it. I watched the pilot of Lipstick Jungle. And I liked it. My status as a good and obedient couch-indenting, TV-watching American is now official. *preens*

During the day, I was like Supermom! I devoted countless hours to the desires and whims of my children. Trips to procure Valentine’s junk for school, to the duck pond, to the pet store to peer at various rodentia in their aquariums, master-planned playdates lined up, extremely healthy yet tasty snacks made on demand, the reading of an untold number of books…

In short, I played more with my kids, was generally more domestic than is good for me, and I was a far more productive and attentive human being than I’ve been for the past 2.5 years. It’s kind of pathetic. And even more so because I know I could never have done all that in two days if my sites weren’t down. The lure of the computer… she is irresistible, no?

Now who wants to throw me an intervention?

The One Where I Get All Aggro and Lecture Everyone

I watched this show last night on the Science channel called What If: The Oil Runs Out? I was dead tired and could easily have closed my eyes and fallen asleep but this program had my full attention.

It’s basically a combination of dramatization and documentary illustrating what changes we will experience in America as oil reserves begin to dwindle.

At our current rate of consumption, this could happen as early as 2012. That’s only four years from now. I should clarify that I wasn’t clear on whether this covered only middle eastern oil or ALLoil reserves. In any case, whenever it finally does ALL run out and it WILL, the implications are frightening.

People will begin to function in survival mode and it literally will become, in my estimation, each man for himself, so to speak.

Think about what the world will be like when we can’t move goods around the country via planes and trucks.

Think about how many people will lose their jobs because their company or vocation depends on petroleum in some way, shape or form.

Think about the food shortages as factories begin to shut down because of power rationing and because available food can no longer be distributed.

Think about medication shortages because those can no longer be distributed, either.

I could go on and on but it’s not necessary. The fact is, every aspect of our lives is going to change. Well, unless you’re Amish and have never depended on modern conveniences and even then, you would still have to contend with some degree of climate change.

I know some people will say this scenario is way over the top and that we will just drill for oil in places we currently do not (thanks to those wacky environmentalist types like myself) but hello? Someday THAT will run out, too. We need to accept this as reality.

President George Bush has. His home in Crawford, Texas is completely off the grid. That means his home is completely power and clean water independent from any utilities and of course, from oil. How much do you want to bet he has a basement loaded to the ceiling with food, medical supplies and other necessities?

So what I’m wondering is WHY aren’t we, as a nation, demanding change right now?

Why are we not demanding major tax credits to offset the costs of adopting alternative forms of energy in our homes and workplaces?

Why are we accepting the very weak environmental stances of all the current presidential candidates. I mean it’s great that at least some of them (*cough*Democrats*cough*) are considering these issues but the standards and goals they are supporting are so weak and will, without a doubt, be too little, too late.

I mean 40 mpg cars by 2020? Are you f*cking kidding me? We need 50 mpg within two years, IMO. And I am not so naive as to think there isn’t some industry influence going on there and perhaps some fear of upsetting the economy but come on! We don’t have time for politics here. We don’t have time for lobbyists to weaken these proposed standards even further. Honestly, how do those people even sleep at night?

And then there’s Mitt Romney, who proposes to not do a damned thing about carbon emissions until China and India do. I have a newsflash for you, asswipe — we’re already the only country in the world that has not signed the Kyoto Treaty. And furthermore, what kind of an idiot puts the fate of his country in the hands of China and India anyway? The shortsightedness of these people is maddening.

It’s time we got our heads out of our collective asses and started demanding the change we want from our leaders and working for change in our everyday lives. Even if it’s just baby steps of change each day, we can do it. And we have to — our future really does depend on it.

So what can we do?

Well, we can do practical things like carpool instead of driving alone. I know…carpooling is so quaint, so 1970’s, but if everyone did it, the impact would be huge.

We can also do things like refuse plastic bags at the store and bring our own when we shop. Those plastic bags NEVER degrade and tons of petroleum is used to manufacture them.

We can eat one less meat-based meal a week. Again, if everyone did this, the results would be staggering because meat production is extremely harsh on the environment and uses up massive amounts of water.

We can also do things like call our representatives and ask them to support pro-environmental legislation, pro-alternative energy legislation and anything else that results in less carbon, less oil usage and less plastic crap being manufactured.

We can teach our children that recycling is NOT optional. We can teach them about conserving resources and curbing wasteful or unnecessary consumption. We can set a good example by not littering, not buying disposable things and teaching them to discern between wants and needs.

We can work to elect representatives who support earth-friendly policies instead of representatives who live in a dream world and think we can keep going the way we are with no consequences.

This is just a short list of ideas. There are fabulous sites all over the internet that will tell you how to make small, painless changes that can actually make a difference if enough people work at it.

WE CAN DO THIS.

*high fives the internet*

/end lecture

•••

This month Green Mom Finds and the League of Maternal Justice will be giving away really cool stuff, including some super cool reusable bags in support of the BlogHers Act Canada Eco Moms Challenge. The challenge? Eliminate plastic bags, of course!