In a recent discussion with my mother-in-law, I lamented over the fact that her late husband told us he’d set up a pre-paid college plan for my daughter but as it happens, he didn’t. It’s put us way behind in saving for college. And yes, I’m kind of irritated.
Now as in-laws go, I could have done worse and for that I’m thankful but not quite so thankful when she said “You’ll just have to go back to work when P goes to kindergarten”
Something about the way she said it rubbed me the wrong way; like I’ve just been on an extended vacation for the past seven years because, you know, staying home and running a household and managing the lives of three other people is SO! EASY! and the isolation is REALLY! FUN! and being looked at by the rest of the world as “just a mom” is GREAT! for my ego.
Bearing in mind that this is coming from a woman who hasn’t worked outside the home a day in her life since getting married eleventy hundred years ago made it almost laughable.
But I bit my tongue and instead opted to remind her —yet again— that I DO work, both as a mother and as a designer/writer/editor of interwebby things upon which I cannot elaborate lest she find out I have this whole other life. And that I blogged about her.
And she replies “Well, I don’t know what you do on your computer,” as if this is the first she’s ever heard of it.
*Blink*
And then my daughter, little spitfire that she is, chimes in “Mommy works on the computer and she makes money, too”
BOOYAHHHH!
Must high five daughter later for her awesomely awesome awesomeness.
{ 47 comments… read them below or add one }
Nice! Way to team up!
Wow…I am not a big fan of your MIL right now…
Wonder twins activate… form of an MIL buster! Impressive.
My MIL reads my blog. That has left me with a serious void in amazing material. I’m impressed you’ve kept your online life a secret.
the mama bird diaries’s last blog post..girl in the dark
Would it be horrible if I said not to worry because your daughter could always get student loans?
Miss Britt’s last blog post..Things I’ve Left Unsaid
I hope your husband heard his Dad say that he would do that for your little one. Sounds like MIL doesn’t want to let go of any money for as long as possible!
Give that kid some cookies!
Woo-hoo! Nice answer! Although I’ll say that it was questioning like your MIL did that forced me to reveal my blog to my dad. Not pretty.
If she asks more questions, hold firm: name, rank, serial number.
I LOATHE people who think to belittle SAHMs. They PISS ME OFF. That said, your daughter RAWKS! Give her an “atta girl!” from me.
Desert Songbird’s last blog post..My Sorrows, They Learned to Swim
That’s rich considering that her husband was sorta responsible for the mess you’re in.
You would think that instead of being weenish she would have a bit more of an apologetic nature.
Loralee’s last blog post..What would you do?
Ooh, that bugs me. You’ll have to go back to WORK when your son goes to Kindergarten, because all you’ve been doing is GOOFING OFF and it’s time you started contributing something, Missy. Grrrrr……
Elizabeth’s last blog post..Wordless Wednesday-Me:2003
Hey, i think your daughter deserves a high ten for that great (and well-timed) line. What a rock star.
Janssen’s last blog post..Waste Not
Go daughter! I love it :)
Erika Jurney, Plain Jane Mom’s last blog post..Do you have your own business? I want to link to you.
Can I just say that my MIL did the exact opposite? When we got married, she was all, “and now you can let him take care of you while you stay at home!” while I was all, “um, I’m earning two graduate degrees to actually DO something with them, thanks!” Now, I’d rather my position (and really, I get along great with my MIL) but either way, assumptions about the right way to be a mother/wife/whatever suck…
Your daughter rocks though! Go her! :)
Z’s last blog post..Spicy
That’s just awesome!
Maria’s last blog post..Nothing goes as planned…
Yeah, my MIL was like that. Felt that I had it easy cause I had a new fangled washing machine and a *gasp* microwave.
Wish I made money from my blog, then I could justify all the time I spend on here!!!!!
Kelley’s last blog post..Give up your seat on the bus for the old lady.
I feel obligated to clarify… Money made from my blog is but a pittance. I actually make most of my money doing graphic design and blog designs.
Okay, your MIL? Needs to be cut. I think I would have said “I guess not everyone is as lucky as you are, to stay home for EONS…” ~heaving sigh~
Also, two important facts:
Your kid, as unideal as this is, can finance the education. You cannot finance your retirement. Just a thought there.
UPromise is a great thing for college savers- when you buy sponsored products, the companies put itty bitty amounts of money into a college savings account for your kiddos. Check it out. Groceries, eating out, office supplies- you’ll be amazed. It’s for real, too, no joke or catch, except that Coke gives you about .02 for every 2 liter, but it will add up!
YEAY for you. THat’s something my MIL would say. Right after she’d criticized me for my bad posture, my hair, ask me aloud why I have zits and then told told me how I need to lose some weight and what kind of diet I should try. (She’s 2 inches shorter than I am and weighs about 50 pounds more than I do. SO go figure.) Grrr.
Just sayin… My MIL stayed home all her life too. SHe’s made comments along that vein as well… It IS infuriating.
motherofbun’s last blog post..Winner named/new holiday for men?
Isn’t she the one who foisted that crap van on you?
That’s one crazy MIL you’ve got there.
I’d ask her how she get to be so perfect. And then ask her if she wants a beer.
Your daughter is awesome…You got that right! Why is it so hard for some people to understand that we can make money doing what we do online?
dana’s last blog post..Not So Happy Cows in California
high fives for making money on the computer!
i’m trying to figure out how to transition my computer time from an expensive sleep-depriving hobbie
mod*mom’s last blog post..time again to check yourself or someone you love for signs of breast cancer
You lucky dog. My in-laws already know about mine, so I have to keep mum. Damn it.
Tracey’s last blog post..Dust, Dirt, and Noise
My personal pet peeve is when people think stay at home moms are sitting around eating bon bons all day. We are raising people…people who we hope will be wonderful humans that will be a great benefit to society and the reason they will be good people is because of the effort we have put in. I am not saying stay at home moms are better than working moms I believe we both are important to the world, but staying home is no vacation and I am so tired of people saying it like it is! I work my ass off every single day and get no lunch break, no vacation/sick days either. When my mother in law asks when I am going back to work, it boils my blood! I do home daycare a few days a week, have 4 kids and my husband travels at least once a week, sometimes the entire week. What part of that is NOT work?
Good for your daughter! I think it is awesome that she knows how hard you work!
tori’s last blog post..My Hero
Hell. Yes.
Next time I see your MIL I’m kicking her in the vagina. Of course you’ll have to point her out. And arrange a flight for me.
Way to Go Daughter! That should be gratifying not just because she showed your MIL up, but also because clearly you are being a most excellent mommy by demonstrating that you are a complete person, and she’s clearly gotten it. Maybe your MIL will too, someday.
My goodness there are some strong feelings here. Including me. If that happened to me, my husband would not hear the end of it.
I’m so sorry that your daughter’s college plan fell through. That is so incredibly disappointing.
But, of course, you’re sitting there eating those bon-bons while you’re writing and working, right? ;)
PunditMom’s last blog post..Hillary Needs a Superhero!
On the bright side…at least she doesn’t email you job postings.
And WTG to your girl! Woot woot!!
And sorry about the college account.
Julie Pippert’s last blog post..5.3 million teen boys moving to Oklahoma, Texas
After reading your entry, I am going to go and give my mother-in-law a big hug because she’s nothing like yours. Yes, your daughter deserves a high five and extra chocolate.
Chris Austria’s last blog post..I Don’t Know Yet If I Believe In God
for your daughter? much love. for your mil? not so much…:)
You know… my MIL never finishes her sentences. I guess there’s a total upside.
(I photoshopped you today.)
Oh, The Joys’s last blog post..Nonsense & Dancing with Jewels at the End
Way to go little gal! I bet that made you smile. The more MIL stories I hear the more I feel blessed to have a great one.
I love your blog!! I can relate to pretty much everything you’ve said on the first page. Just wanted to mention!
Love it! At least you don’t despise your MIL. I can hear mine saying that exact same thing and picturing with just the right amount of venom. But, of course, it’s all in my imagination. Good choice not sharing your blog with her - damn, my husband! Guess I’ll be starting a new blog just to vent about MIL. Frustrating revelation. Don’t go back to work unless it’s a cake job (read: easy as hell), flexible and you can still update your blog without anyone knowing.
Stephanie’s last blog post..Just a little fun.
Two things- student loans- you could just sign your kid up for them, not explain that is what you are doing until her graduation when you hand her the piece of paper with the appt. with the loan officer she has the following morning- my parents did that…
Also, sounds like my MIL in the computer sense- my husband’s whole family thinks I am just messing around all day, not actually writing or anything. When I mention going to BlogHer they thought it was a scam because I am paying for it myself. AUGH!!!
Vicky’s last blog post..She’s Two- does she really need that party?
Family can really say hurtful things and not realize it. At the next sit down family dinner, ask her if she’s pre-paid her funeral arrangements yet. I know, harsh and inappropriate but at least you can think it.
Ed Bacchus’s last blog post..Weekly Rant 2/20/08
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrlllllllll Powaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!
Truly unbelievable, your MIL, and to think that money, money is the only validation when you are doing such a great fine outstanding job as a MOM in a nonpaying profession… In which the future is dependent upon…
About staying at night in front of the computer and making money out of it still make others think that I’m nuts :D
Good kid!
and how did you not say, “Oh, is that what you did?” with wide, innocent eyes? Or ask if that was why her kids didn’t go to college/ had massive student loans.
I love the comment about the beer and telling her what you think. What an insensitive lady. How do you take her? Being home taking care of children, keeping the house, and then the husband..lord love you..I’d slit my throat..and work in the home is hell hell hell.. Keep going and consider her source…her a nasty lady who I’ll bet has no life.
My very best and respect to you…I’d have laid her out in lavender and your way is the right way. Praying for your continued strength..and success on this site..so you can tell her some day to kiss your bottom….
Dorothy from grammmology
remember to call gram
I read this the minute you sent it, but had to run before I could comment. However, I assumed your anger and carried it for you the whole day…I’m still pissed off about that. REALLY!
I would have killed her.
What is it with MILs? GAH!
My MIL always seems disappointed when I talk about the possibility of quitting my job. I always feel like she’s is living vicariously through me, but doesn’t quite get how insanely hard it is to maintain a full time job and full time sanity.
Um…could you possibly record your awesomely, awesome daughter’s response…so, that I can…you know…copy her?
HAHAHA! I love your comment…Your “gonna kick her in the vagina” hahaha, that is a hilarious visual! But Im with ya on that one!
AAAAHahahaha, Take that ya old biddy! Tell, your little girl We WAHM’s say GOOD GIRL, and give her a HIGH FIVE for me!