The Evilest Van of All Times
The title of this post is credited to my daughter who, when she was younger, proclaimed her newly mobile baby brother “The Evilest Baby of All Times” after he wrecked something (or many things) of hers.
But alas, the “evilest” title now belongs to our van. Yeah, remember that fantabulous piece of crap that was forced upon us by my mother-in-law (backstory here)?
Well, that freaking albatross ruined my vacation. RUINED, I SAY! We didn’t even get an hour away from home when the engine, with no warning whatsoever, started ticking on the interstate.
Since I’d never actually driven it on the the highway in the whole six weeks I owned it, I wasn’t sure what to make of it. But as it got louder, I suddenly remembered that it’s the exact same sound your car makes just before the engine is about to crap the bed. After blowing up a couple engines in my early twenties, I now know these things. Am SMART.
So we pulled over and only after I put the car in park does the “low oil pressure” light come on. Gee, thanks for the WARNING!
Long story short, it took us SEVEN GODFORSAKEN HOURS to get home from 45 minutes away. We were at the dealership in Sarasota for hours waiting for someone with a big car to come get us and all our shit. We were going on a nine hour drive and a five day vacation; we had a LOT of stuff and there it sat out on the sidewalk in front of the service department. We looked like the Beverly Hillbillies…minus the truck, of course.
The engine is, in fact, history and it will be $6000 to replace it, which we aren’t doing. For the record, it was not my fault this time. The car had oil, water, coolant…whatever it needs to make a car not blow up. It was some other pre-existing problem.
The good news is my mother-in-law is giving us our money back. The bad news is that it’s not enough to replace the perfectly good momvan we had to sell when she thrust The Evilest Van of All Times upon us and seriously, this had to happen RIGHT before Christmas? Effing piece of crap.
I KNEW accepting that van (that wasn’t even free!) was a bad idea and I even told my husband we shouldn’t. I had an icky feeling about it and I ignored it in the interest of diplomacy and politeness. The moral of this story? Always trust your gut feeling and for the love of Emilio Estevez, DON’T do something you don’t want to do simply out of politeness.
Anyway, our vacation didn’t happen. My daughter sobbed inconsolably when she finally realized we weren’t resuming our trip after our degrading stay at the dealership. My husband was livid. I was just sick over the whole I-have-NO-car-anymore thing. And little P? He was the only one who was happy because he doesn’t even know what a lovely, relaxing vacation in the Keys is or how much it sucks to have one snatched away from you.
So I’ve been home since Friday night but because I had some fabulous guest posters to cover me for a few days, I used the time to look for a new car, catch up on a lot of design work, look for a new car, relax a little, look for a new car and start a new antidepressant. I’m now on Wellbutrin while tapering off of Zoloft, which still sucks, by the way. I feel like Speedy Freaking Gonzalez…
Let me just tell any of you out there that are feeling burned out on blogging or feel like you have writer’s block etc. — taking a little intentional vacation from posting can do wonders. While I still feel really anxious about not having any wheels and I dread the whole car shopping thing, the blogging and writing part of my brain feels much more relaxed and I’m looking forward to getting back to ye olde blog.
It’s back to car hunting now. If anyone knows where they’re keeping all the non-American, super-reliable, low mileage, bargain-priced cars, PLEASE TELL ME. I can’t seem to find them anywhere…
(On an unrelated note…WHO is buying all those “Big Daddy” shirts from my Izzywig shop? Whoever you are, thank you!)
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Oh holy hell, does that ever SUCK. I’m so sorry - both for your lost vacation and your traitorous van.
No vacation? That so totally sucks. And I’m with you on the evil van from hell. I haven’t mentioned that i just abandoned mine because everything else was going to cost so much money that I just left it where it died. I know it’s bad, but what’s a girl to do?
I’m with you on the cheap cars. American cars are markedly cheaper than foreign cars. You can buy a decent Caravan for under 6K that is only a few years old with low milage. The same thing in an Odyssey would be 10-12K.
The Kia has come a long way. To make a long story short; I know a guy who knows vehicles and when we were car shopping that’s what he recommended. You can get a super nice one for fairly cheap. Good Luck.
And don’t be so down about your trip. Everything happens for a reason. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but you weren’t meant to go this time…
fuuuunnnn.
I have been following this mother-in-law-thrusting saga and I have come to a conclusion.
Your MIL must be my mother.
Cause that is the same sort of thing she would pull on me.
She bought me a piece of junk car for my 21st. Borrowed it. Pranged it. Sold it to a friend and pocketed the money….
Noice.
I am sorry about your holiday. Hopefully something good will come of all this.
Sorry you missed your vacation! Maybe you avoided some big tragedy like a car accident or something. Thank goodness that crap didn’t happen after you made it to the Keys. I always like to think there’s a (good) reason for everything. Maybe MIL could repay with a cruise, too? Yeah, right.
OMG I’ve had that van! And guess what? It was my MIL’s before it was ours and she decided that we just HAD to have it. We had $4000 in repairs the first year and a half we owned it, she never offered to help with any of the costs. We traded it in on a new van, much to her dismay.
That is just awful. I’m so sorry.
If you lived closer to me you could buy my Mazda, it’s going cheap because we can’t afford two cars anymore. *sigh* I love that car.
I agree, you have to think that this may have saved you from worse turmoil down the road. But still and all, a pox on interfering MILs.
I’m so sorry, Izzy. That sucks big sweaty donkey balls sideways. I hope this is a lesson to your dear sweet husband, though, to NOT interfere with your judgment on issues pertaining to his mother. Good luck with the search.
I have an overwhelming urge to shake your mother-in-law. I’m assuming that I’m not alone.
(and… Craigslist)
I’m so sorry your vacation was ruined by a damn van! That just sucks raw goose eggs. But the the mental image of your Beverly Hillbillies family at the dealership is kinda funny. I promise one day - far, far away - you’ll look back and laugh.
No other way of saying it. That SUCKS.
And, no, I have no advice on cars. I drive an American-made momvan. Got it for a bargain, has been dependable. No complaints.
Can’t you get a used engine stuck in it? If you know a mechanic to do the labour it shouldn’t cost too much.
Well, I’m with little P - I have no idea what a vacation in the Keys would be like (though I can imagine), so having one ripped away from me would not be bad. What IS bad is having an unexpected vacation thrust UPON you - as in being forced out of your home for 5 days and counting by an ice storm that knocked out power to half the state you live in. I guess we’re rowing the same suckassiness boat, eh?
I don’t know when we’ll be able to go home, but I agree with you about the blogging thing: my inability to get online when I feel the urge has spawned so much for me to write about, it’s ridiculous. I’ve started a little notebook, as without power, even the laptop doesn’t last for long.
Good luck with the van search. Something good will come your way, it just has to!
That completely sucks ass. I’m so sorry your vacation was ruined by the PoS van.
The Speedy Gonzales feeling will pass, I promise. I was on Wellbutrin for a long time, and you will adjust. Thankfully it will never make you sleepy, though.
As for finding a good low-mile used car, we used AutoTrader.com. Spent a lot of time searching through several different types of searches, also spent time on the dealer websites looking at their web specials. We ended up getting a 9 month old SUV with 20K miles on it for $2000 under the blue book value - it was previously a rental fleet car. You might try looking for one like that - they get regular maintenance and usually are low miles.
I would second the KIA recommendation. Do the consumer reports research on it, but I know a fair # of people who have them and they seem pretty happy.
Oh, my heart goes out to you. How awful! I wish you good luck in the replacement car/van department. I like my Pontiac Montana, if that means anything to you.
So thats what happened to your vacation. That sucks. I hope you kicked that damn van a few times.
Izzy, I’m so sorry you had your vacation ruined. I hope you are able to pick it up again in the future. Sounds like it would have been great fun.
My daughter has a new medication she takes which replaced Zoloft as well. If you read my daughters post on Lucinda Bassett (maybe spelled wrong) perhaps that’s something which would interest you as well.
I’ll be thinking about you..
My best,
Dorothy from grammology
remember to call your gram
I can’t believe the myriad ways in which this sucks, Izzy. seriously. But I am so glad you took those few days for yourself anyhow, even if it wasn’t on your real vacation. I hope you get to reschedule it and take it later!
What a nightmare! Someday you MAY laugh at this, I hope.
Vacation? What is that?!
I am so sorry this happened to you, but I am impressed that you are still married. btw-don’t take generic wellbutrin xl, it is not equivalent and it is not as good. Trust me on this. If you take 300mg ask your dr to prescribe 150 in the am and 150 in the pm–you can still take it all in the morning, but this way insurance will cover it. There is no generic 150xl so they have to cover it. Again, trust me. We had 5 months of hell before we knew what was going on.
Hi Izzy-
My heart goes out to you - such a stressful string of events that you are dealing with.
I had a really bad experience on Wellbutrin. It made my ears ring constantly and I could never get to sleep. I also was on Lexapro for a year with very good results but there was a mix up with insurance and I ended up going off of it for four excruciating months. I’m currently on Celexa at 40 mg a day and I feel like a new person. 20 mg did absolutely nothing for
me. I probably am high on the anxiety spectrum along with the depression issues - if that helps.
I think it has been a blessing to have a Dr. who is also a personal friend of mine who keeps assuring me that nothing is wrong with medication and it may take some time to find the right one.
On the car front: I love my Subaru wagon. I have long commutes in bad weather. It gets great mileage and the last one I had saved my life. I smashed into the back end of Mack truck at 65 MPH and walked away without a scratch on me.
I got the replacement at
auctiondirectusa.com
and saved about $2,000 off kelley blue book pricing.
Good luck and reschedule that vacation!
Lizzie
Gosh, I’m sorry. I swear by Nissans, but that’s just me. I hope YOU find the best car for YOU.