Comments on: What About MY Rights?

By: IzzyMom

IzzyMom — Sat, 13 Mar 2010 03:37:16 +0000

What you don’t know are the circumstances under which you were given up. My birthmother was forced by her parents to give me up and not even allowed to tell my birthfather. I could NEVER hold that against her.
IzzyMom’s last blog post…Really, Like, Deep Thoughts on Marriage…

By: ghd

ghd — Fri, 12 Mar 2010 11:48:13 +0000

I have to add that although I never knew my birth parents, I know the love I received from my adopted parents was genuine and more than enough for me as I grew up. At time I feel the urge to track down my biologiccal parents, but then think do I really need to meet strangers who simply put, gave me up when I was born.

I dont have any resentment or bad feelings towards these people, but I love and respect who I can only refer to as my real parents, the ones who raised me and made me the person i am today, too much to worry about my biological ones. But then, maybe one day sheer curiosity will win out

By: IzzyMom

IzzyMom — Mon, 18 May 2009 04:47:02 +0000

The world needs to know that many birthmothers DO want to know what happened to their children, that they didn’t necessarily WANT secretive, closed adoptions.

Thank you so much for sharing this. I appreciate your taking the time.

By: Ien in the Kootenays

Ien in the Kootenays — Mon, 18 May 2009 04:40:21 +0000

I have no personal interest in this, but most people I know who are either adoptees or birth parents feel more complete when the whole picture is known. I have two cousins who are adopted. One of them knows her birth parents, not a happy story but that is not the point. She has a birth-brother who she really enjoys knowing. She was the best daughter my dear aunt could have asked for. Her brother is still wishfully searching for for his birth mom. I know 3 birth mothers who ALL wanted to know where their children ended up.

By: Marianne

Marianne — Sun, 10 May 2009 19:47:29 +0000

I’m betting you’re an adoptive parent. You people are always the most vocal against your own children knowing the truth about themselves. How incredibly selfish of you. It’s not enough that God gave you a child to raise? You have to hide the truth to feel like a ‘real’ parent? If you were a ‘good’ parent, you’d have no reason to fear the truth and no reason to fear your children will choose biology & genetics over a piece of paper. Get over it.

By: IzzyMom

IzzyMom — Fri, 08 May 2009 15:57:33 +0000

Every time I read the comments here, I get furious all over again. Those of you who don’t want to know your origins do not have to. Nobody will FORCE you to access that information. For the rest of us that do wan to know, it’s our right. Every other person has access to their real birth certificate. I fail to see why an adoptee should be treated any differently. Also? Birthmothers were NEVER guaranteed anonymity by the law or any other governing body.

By: A Delicate Dance | IzzyMom

A Delicate Dance | IzzyMom — Fri, 08 May 2009 05:44:44 +0000

[...] Post: What About MY Rights? Tags: adoptee, Adoption, birthmotherPosted in Adoption, Personal [...]

By: MJ

MJ — Sat, 15 Nov 2008 05:10:54 +0000

I’m reading this with all the focus on birth mothers, but what about the men (and boys) who get women (and girls) pregnant? What about sperm donors?

Family has been redefined. It’s time to move beyond feeling like the people who participated in our conception owe us rights. Yes, all people deserve to know the truth about their genetic background–as much as it can be known. Even if you have your genetic family tree back 20 generations, there will be questions–it’s biology.

Children/adults who grew up in adoptive families have rights. Of course. Those rights end at knowing the truth of the situation, not names.

By: Izzy

Izzy — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 15:27:56 +0000

Isn’t HIPAA about medical records privacy? If so, that’s really not the same thing as adoption records. Additionally, birth certificates are only changed upon adoption. if a child remains in the foster care system until they are adults and are never adopted, they will always have access to their OBC so the idea that birthmothers have or are legally entitled to anonymity or privacy is not accurate.

By: motherofbun

motherofbun — Wed, 28 Nov 2007 04:47:29 +0000

Times have changed. I remember when “adoption” was a dirty little secret.

A childhood friend found out his high school sweetheart was pregnant a few weeks before he started his military training. They decided on an open adoption. They chose the adoptive parents as his sweetheart was 16. Even the friend’s parents as well as and his girlfriend’s parents were still allowed to be a part of this little girls’ life. The adoptive parents often came to the birth grandparents’ homes for parties.

When my friend and his sweetheart got married, the little girl was in their wedding. The adoptive parents named her Cindy, after her birthmom.

The marriage broke up and now Cindy’s at least 16 years old. She’s always known she was adopted. She knows where her birth grandparents live. She knows her parents are no longer together and that it was a very painful split.

My friend rarely calls his bio daughter. His ex rarely calls her as well. I think that although they are very grateful she’s being raised by such wonderful people, they want to keep their distance so she never gets confused — her adoptive parents have been the ones to take care of her and watch her grow. THEY are her parents.