I’m Officially Late

Well, my cycles are irregular but they’re never THIRTY ONE DAYS LONG. But…no sore, tingly boobs and I don’t seem to be tired like I was last week. But also…no zits, which is like saying there’s no sky. I ALWAYS break out before my period.

OTOH, by my calculations, we had unprotected sexual intercourse (hahahaha…I was just amusing myself there. Nobody really says “sexual intercourse” do they?) 10 days after my last period so it’s unlikely I was ovulating.

Right?

PLEASE SAY YES.

I keeping willing my “friend” to come but, as evidenced by a brand new box of tampons that sits here on my desk…mocking me, she’s a no show. By the way, why the hell do women call it their “friend”? Zits, cramps, bloating, homicidal tendencies? What the hell kind of friend would bring you those things?

So, enough about my “friend” or lack thereof. I have no concrete answer because I’m in denial and refuse to take a test to find out once and for all. But rest assured, when I do know something, you’ll be the third to know.

In other news… I cut my hair last night. I just couldn’t stand it anymore so I took a pair of scissors to it and chopped it off.

Okay, not really. I just trimmed my way-too-long bangs. A lot. They’re like regular bangs now but still to the side. And the fact that I’m reasonably pleased is HUGE. I hate almost every haircut I get. Am picky and pain-in-the-assy when it comes to my hair.

So here’s the unveiling. But first? Try to ignore the toothpaste splattered mirror, courtesy of my daughter’s electric toothbrush. I’ve given up cleaning the it every day. I just let the maid deal with it when she comes. Which is never. Because? I don’t have a maid and I’m really just lazy.

Oh, and another thing, I took this about an hour after I woke up and my hair is completely unbrushed or fussed with in any way. And no makeup, either (shut up!) But you get the general idea of the new ‘do (because I know you SO care)

So today we had my daughter’s non-family birthday party at Build-a-Bear. The best thing about it, IMO, is that it went pretty quickly. Am I the only one that finds long children’s parties downright painful?

Then we had ice cream and then it was over shortly thereafter. $110 for the actual party and get this — $25 for seven little kid-sized cups of ice cream from Häagen Dazs. Clearly, I’m in the WRONG business…

There was something else I wanted to tell you but um…I forgot what it was. I’m sure it will come to me while I’m in bed, psychically willing my period to also come.

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Props and Pans is giving away a brand new copy of The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh: Friendship Edition on DVD! Makes a great gift or potty-training bribe. Pop on over there and cast your entry!

My Very Own Mini Me

We usually keep my daughter’s bedroom door closed and secured with one of those babyproofing thingamajigs that you have to pinch to turn the door knob because my son, cute as he may be, is a wrecking machine. And a very FAST one at that. He can destroy a clean room in about five minutes on a good day.

Unfortunately, my daughter frequently forgets to close her door and the other day my son got in there and made a pretty big mess. I was totally not in the mood to pick it all up (because I pick up their crap ALL DAY LONG) and left it, intending to deal with it the following day.

Well, that was about 4 days ago and now the room looks like it was in an earthquake. You can hardly walk around in there and it’s just painful to look at, let alone think about cleaning.

So last night I said to my daughter, who seems relatively unmoved by the disaster her room has become, “Do you like your room like this?”

And she replies, with no snark whatsoever, “Yes, I love tripping over all this stuff”

“Excellent use of sarcasm!!!” I exclaim, beaming!

I’m so proud of her *dabs at misty eyes*

But I still have to address that room tomorrow.

Oy.

BONUS: For anyone who attended BlogHer that didn’t stay at the W Lakeshore (or did and harbors any ill will toward the W) you may be interested in what you missed out on (or doing a little venting of your own in the comments).

Because a Mommyblogger’s Favorite Subject is Poop, Right?

My house today ~ 1pm to 1:20pm…

Me to demanding two year old:  You’ll have to wait a minute. I’m going to the bathroom

Me to demanding two year old 5 seconds later:  P, please…I’ll be done in a minute and then I’ll get it for you.

Me to  demanding two year old 5 seconds after that: I’M POOPING!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Older Child: Mommeeeeee! Help me! I went poop and it’s all smearish. I need a baby wipe!

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Me to  two year old: NO! No, no no! Do NOT put the Little People in the potty! There was poop in there a second ago!!!

Prepubertal Man Boobs and Other Not Good Things

For the past eight years I have bought organic foods whenever possible, I’ve stopped dry-cleaning my clothes, resisted killing bugs with petrochemical-based pesticides, painted with zero-VOC house paints and avoided cleaning products made of dangerous chemicals that out-gas into the air in our home (that would pretty much be ALL of the standard well-known brands).

It’s not all that hard to do these things and after so many years, the extra cost of living with less chemicals is pretty much built into our bottom line, though it is, admittedly, more expensive

I do find it ironic, however, that many of the chemicals that were supposed to be our salvation are now found to be slow, silent killers and where we used to pay for the privilege of “easier, better and faster”, we now have to pay extra to get away from that stuff.

(Don’t even get me started on cosmetics, shampoos, soaps and other personal care items. They’re pretty much unregulated and could probably be made with arsenic and lye and still be within the confines of our pathetically weak laws. Grrr…)

Last night, as I was cleaning up the kitchen and gathering all our recycling stuff to take outside, I was struck by how much plastic stuff there is and it occurred to me that manufacturers give us very little choice in terms of packaging. I’d love to have less toxic plastic in our lives but so much of that stuff we use comes ONLY in plastic, regardless of the brand. And while makers claim this plastic or that plastic is safe, I’ve heard that too many times only to find out later that it’s not safe at all.

So I don’t trust any plastics and I don’t cook in them and almost never store food in them, opting instead for these awesome retro “refrigerator box” glass storage containers (microwave & freezer safe) from Anchor-Hocking and they’re very reasonably priced.

Screw Tupperware and Rubbermaid and the cheap plastic containers that house wonton soup when you order Chinese. I actually long for the days when everything came in glass containers. Yes, it was breakable but what is some broken glass compared to the host of cancers and diseases that have proven links to our chemical lifestyles? It’s nothing but a minor inconvenience when compared to going through chemotherapy and radiation treatments. Or dying.

I read this post yesterday by Cristina (it’s an absolute MUST READ) with whom I share many things in common, including a burning desire to shield our children from the toxic chemical soup that is modern life on planet Earth. While some of what was in Cristina’s post was not news to me, it was still disturbing to see all those ugly realities gathered up in one place. It riled up my deep, dark motherly fury at the fact that my kids live in a poisoned world and nobody, least of all our government, gives a sh!t.

As I noted in my comment to Cristina, in the US, you can go to jail for years (as in many) for marijuana but corporations can carelessly poison our kids and the planet and the government does nothing. In this respect, Europe is eons ahead of us. The EU often puts public and environmental safety ahead of corporate profits. Governing bodies that actually care about their citizens…what a novel concept.

I urge you to check out Healthy Child Healthy World and Environmental Working Group and become pro-active (if you’re not already) about staying informed and also letting our leaders know that we’re smarter than they think and we want better for our kids.

And finally, something I’ve been meaning to post about… You may want to stop using those lavender scented lotions and soaps on your kids, especially boys, as they have been linked to prepubertal gynomastia, meaning your boys can possibly grow breasts.

I know, it sounds crazy, but like many of the chemicals in everyday products that stimulate estrogen receptors (male sperm counts are down sharply in the past 50 years mostly likely due in some part to this), lavender, as well as tea tree oil, can suppress male hormones (androgens) and stimulate estrogen receptors which can feminize boys and I presume cause what’s known as precocious puberty (very, very early puberty) in girls.

You can read the news article here and check out a summary of the published study in the New England Journal of Medicine.

Thanks for staying with me through my morning ventiness. You, my friend, are a Rockstar Reader™ and at some point when I have more time, I intend to show you my gratitude for your being so awesomely awesome :)

Excuses, Excuses…But They’re Pretty Good Ones

I’m trying. I’m really, really trying to get motivated to write some sort of recap about BlogHer 07 but so far, no luck. It’s just not coming to me. At least not in the colorful and engaging way that I’d hoped it would.

And my son has strep, I just found out this morning. He’s been fussy and frankly, a giant pain in the ass since I returned home on Sunday and I thought it was maybe two year molars but when he stopped wanting to eat anything, I knew it had to be something else. Apparently one of his tonsils looked “funny” to the pediatrician so he cultured it and sure enough, it was strep. Always listen to your motherly intuition.

And my daughter, bless her heart, doesn’t stop talking to me from the moment she wakes up in the morning until we close the door after tucking her in at night. For real.

So, between my fussy, miserable son and my ultra-chatty daughter, I’ve been completely mentally wiped out by the time they go to bed and haven’t done any work or written any posts or folded any laundry or done anything except poke around some blogs and look at people’s Flickrs and nap.

I vaguely recall feeling like this after last BlogHer. Kind of deflated…like the biggest event of the year in my apparently somewhat lacking life was over and it’s back to reality. Bleh.

I’m just trying to get back in the groove of regular life while going around mumbling little prayers here and there to please, please, please let me not be pregnant (yes, we were sort of uncareful again; merely going by the calendar which we all know is what? About 12% effective?) I’ve just been sooo unbelievably tired that I have to consider the possibility, no matter how terrifying it is. I know, I know, children are a blessing…but I’m just not ready for that particular blessing right now.

I finally uploaded my photos to Flickr but I have to weed through them and get the duds out before I make them public. Nonetheless, there are some fabulous pictures of some mighty fine ladies in there and a couple pix that I totally stole from other people’s Flickrs without permission and as soon as I can remember who I stole them from, I will ask if I can have them. I’m very courteous like that…stealing and then asking.

One last thing… Myself and about 30 other women have expressed interest in having a mid-year get together, unofficially named January MommyCon. (Apparently, it’s necessary to point out that the name Mommycon is a tongue-in-cheek kinda thing) It’s like a conference without the conference, if you will. And you don’t have to be a mom to participate, although it looks like we moms will be representin’ heavily.

Anyone who is interested and isn’t a serial killer (or any other kind of killer) is welcome to join the Yahoo Group that I set up to start planning it. It will be in a warm locale, most likely in the south central or southeastern US and will be happening in mid-January if we can get our sh!t together in time.

If you’re interested, you can join the January MommyCon group here :)

EDITED TO ADD: Over 130 BlogHer photos now up in my Flickr!!!!