Because Being Home is Infinitely Better Than Being in Chicago
Hello everyone! I’m Jennifer from Playgroups are No Place For Children. Izzy asked me to blogsit while she’s away hobnobbing with all the other bloggers in Chicago for BlogHer. Of course I’m happy to fill in, but have to admit that I’m more than just a little jealous that I’m not in Chicago, too.
Since I suspect I’m not the only one feeling down about being stuck at home, I thought I would share some reasons why being in Chicago in all actuality probably sucks. I hope these facts will help make you feel better!
1. Chicago is home to the Cubs. They haven’t won a World Series since 1908. My favorite team, the St. Louis Cardinals won the Fall Classic just last year! They previously won in 1926, 1931, 1934, 1942, 1944, 1946, 1964, 1967, and 1982. I’m not rubbing it in, or anything. I’m just sayin’.
2. Chicago was once known as the Mudhole of the Prairie. I know I wouldn’t want to be spending any time in a place known as a Mudhole.
3. With all the deep dish pizza and Polish sausages to eat, you’d surely gain about a zillion pounds and clog an aorta.
4. It would be really annoying to hear all the locals talking about Da Bears and Da Bulls all da time.
5. Chicago is known as the Windy City. Since it is no longer the age of Aqua Net, most coifs probably wouldn’t be able withstand the gale force winds. I’m no fashion guru, but I’m sure that the wind blown look is not the must have look for summer.
6. I know if I were in need of a doctor while in Chicago, I’d accept mouth to mouth resitation from no one else except for George Clooney. Unfortunately though, their ER isn’t actually staffed with Dr. Doug Ross so this would pose a significant problem in the event of an accident.
Mmmmm, George!
7. Dinner conversations are probably rather dull without phrases such as “please stop putting the syrup in your hair” and “put your bib back on.”
8. Hotel rooms are notorious for being dirty and germy. Not that your home is the cleanest place on earth, mine certainly isn’t, but at least it’s your family’s germs.
9. I’m not there. That speaks volumes about the amount of fun, or actually the lack thereof, that people are having at BlogHer.
10. Everyone is probably hungover with the taste of last night’s beers and Cosmos on their breath. And drinking too much leads to, er, uh, intestinal discomfort. Not that I know anything about such things. Think of the stench in those conference rooms. Ewwwww.
I hope that this list has made you realize that being home is infinitely more exciting than being in Chicago. Please feel free to add to this list with your own reasons why you are jealous relieved to be at home!
**Disclaimer….I have nothing against the city of Chicago. Well, except for the Cubs. Go Cards!
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As a fellow OH-SO JEALOUS BlogHer non-attendee, I can really relate to this list. I was feeling disappointed and down due to my inability to go…..in fact I have a button on my site that speaks to my bitterness…..BUT NOW I realize it is all for the best.
Another reason:
Having just returned from the beach with a group of ten women, I can tell you that a large gathering of females usually brings drama with it. Therefore it is not unreasonable for us to assume that these ladies will spend the entire time arguing! (hee-hee) HEY! It could happen!
Also, all that talking would just upset my TMJ!
THERE! I feel better…..THANKS!
How sweet of you to blogsit! Blogher would definatly not be cool and fun with you. I know that’s why I didn’t go. :)
How sweet of you to blogsit! Blogher would definatly not be cool and fun with out you. I know that’s why I didn’t go. :)
How sweet of you to blogsit! Blogher would definatly not be cool and fun with out you. I know that’s why I didn’t go. :)
Sorry! Damn Internets!
Your comments were so funny!
I’m with you girl!
:(
I love you for making this list, woman. I especially love #5 and #7. Brilliant. And I’m with Jean - I’m simply choosing not to go because you aren’t going to be there. It has absolutely nothing to do with me having to watch the baby. Nothing.
I’m glad I’m not going because whose face would I wipe and I’d get bored just wiping my own butt but if I asked to wipe someone else’s, I’m sure that would black ball me.
Haha. I sooo want to be there. But thanks for making me feel better. Instead today we are replacing our range that I broke grrr a few weeks ago. So my budget takes the hit one way or the other. Just with less hotel germs, I suppose. :-)
Yeah, but that deep dish pizza is almost worth blowing your aorta for!!!!!
I’m STILL at home because we just went to the airport and my flight was delayed for TWO hours. Now I’m going to miss Sarah and Devra and Mrs. Chicky. We were s’posed to share a cab. Grrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!
Anyway, big thanks to Jen for blogsitting. You rock and we’ll all miss you :)
Count me in as one who isn’t in Chicago because Jennifer isn’t there.
Last year I could have DRIVEN each day to BlogHer…but I was new to the world of blogging (reading, hadn’t even started my own yet) so I didn’t go. This year I’d love to go but can’t get all the way to shytown. How much does that suck?
Brilliant list; but still I wish I were in Chicago.
Go Tigers!
Great list, Jennifer! It’s definitely THEIR loss that you’re not in attendance.
However, as someone who lived in Chicago and its burbs for 12 years (and also wishes she were at BlogHer), I have to agree with RWA … that deep dish pizza is worth any health complications you might incur! Oh, Giordanos, how I miss you …
As for the wind, it’s just plain hot as Hell there during the summer. Still …. Chicago is and always will be “My kind of town.”
I’m working on finding who I need to pay off to have BlogHer come to Boston next year!
I’m sad I’m not there too. We are SO THERE next year girls!
And here I was thinking I’m the only female on the entire internet who’s not going to be there. All those “I’m going” badges have been mocking me all morning.
great list…..though I do love me some pizza!!
“I’m not there” Exactly! You have convinced me that being home is much better. But I’m still bitter….and am displaying my proudly
Great list…I still wish I was in Chicago especially now with two non-napping toddlers at my ankles.
“I’m not there” Exactly! You have convinced me that being home is much better. But I’m still bitter….and am displaying my bitter badge proudly
LOL! I am happy to be home because tonight is MASSAGE night!
Here’s another reason (although it doesn’t make home any more attractive for me!) I’m just north of Chicago and it has been POURING BUCKETS all day. Chicago is miserable in the rain!
YAY! Another Cards fan.
I’m jealous and I don’t even have a blog.
Teehee. I made my own “I’m not going” button. :-D Because I’m THAT geeky.
OMG That would SO TOTALLY ROCK.
Not that *I’m* bitter or anything.
I’m relieved not to be going, um, because … I actually am a very bad airline passenger and get panicky at every little airplane noise! Yeah, that’s it! I also made my own “I’m not going button” like Mrs. Flinger.
I made my own button too!
Boston? I’m right there with you - I’ll take any excuse to travel to Boston!!
You’re right, this really is awful. I’m going home.
I’m at home… IN Chicago, so there! Oh and The Cubs do indeed suck, but we also have the White Sox, who granted, suck this year, won the World Series in 2005. Boo-yah!
I’m home and reading everything I missed around here and I just want to tell you that Miss Moosh (Casey) is absolutely capital A-dorable. I didn’t get nearly enough time to hang with her!
I’m not at BlogHer because I couldn’t afford both karate training camp and blogher in the same month. Last week was training camp. I got whiplash from a bad throw/fall and missed 2/3 of my training camp anyway. GRRR. I’m lobbying for the East Coast next year.
http://chicagowithdrawal.wordpress.com
The only person that hates Chicago more than me is Ernest Hemingway.