Some Unsolicited Advice For New Moms

Posted by on July 10, 2007


Tonight I noticed someone did a Google image search that brought them to a photo of my son right after he was born which, by the way, really creeped me out. I clicked the link that led me to a post I wrote when my son turned one; a re-telling of his birth.

As I read the post, I realized how much I had already forgotten about his birth in just two years. I thanked myself for having written his birth story and then I was struck with a pang of regret.

I had nothing written about the birth of my daughter. But then again, my c-section was a wholly unpleasant experience so maybe it’s for the best. We do have lots of pictures. Those count. Right?

Well anyway, what I want to tell every mom of a new baby is write your birth story. I know you’re probably exhausted and you think you’ll have time later but don’t wait.

Do it now while every detail is still fresh in your mind. Or…tell your baby his birth story while you rock him or nurse him and record it as you’re telling it. Later you can get it transferred to a CD or transcribe it to paper.

However you do it, it will be precious energy well-expended.

I promise :)


37 Comments

  • TB says:

    It’s true. At only 10 weeks post partum, when I go back and read what I wrote, I realize there are already things I’ve forgotten. New mom brains can only hold so much information. I love the idea of telling the baby the story and recording it.

  • ~JJ! says:

    Excellent advice!!!! I agree 1000%
    I wish I wrote mine sooner…

    (It’s Janet if I haven’t told you about the move!)

  • Kris says:

    I wrote alot in the hospital after my daughter was born-on sheets of paper from the staff-and in my journal. I think I was pretty lucky in the fact that I was able to relax enough to jot down some thoughts and what happened, and not be rushed out because another patient needed the room right at that moment. And am glad that I do have a pretty coherent birth story, among other things.
    Yes-excellent advice.

  • Kaleigh says:

    One of the birthday traditions in our house is, the night before the child’s birthday, we sit together, just the two of us, and look at pictures from their first few days. I tell them the story of how they were born (with the scary, “I almost died” parts left out). It gives me a chance to re-process the experiences (which were quite traumatic, in different ways) and also an opportunity to reframe them (so what if the births sucked, the end products are great). It also gives the kid some one-on-one time, and a glimpse of a time they can’t remember.

  • sam says:

    Sing it Sista! I totally agree. I haven’t read over Carter’s birth story but plan to by his 2nd birthday. It’s the best advice really. I agree 1 million per cent!

  • Tere says:

    Good advice. I wrote the story out in two parts last September when my son turned one, and you’re right: I’m very happy to have it all down.

  • Melinda says:

    I did mine and posted ‘em on my mommy blog. (I wrote them in baby books too.) You are absolutely right about recording the memories while they are fresh.

  • wordgirl says:

    Good advice, that. Thanks for sharing.

  • wordgirl says:

    Good advice, that. Thanks for sharing.

  • Yes, yes, yes, yes. A must-do, totally, because we DO forget.

  • g-man says:

    It is the daddy’s job to take pictures. I have one of the doctor posing my daughter as she emerged during her ‘c-section’. My wife could not see what was going on but she instinctively rolled her eyes and shook her head. :)

  • I love that idea! I’m still not finished with my second daughter’s baby book and she’s almost seven! My third daughter is almost six months and I haven’t even started it. Yikes!

  • flutter says:

    When I do, I will.

  • Fenicle says:

    Good advice for new parents. I wrote mine out in a journal style of the before/after birth and then scrapbooked it.

    It’s always neat to go back and read it, look at the pictures & remember…..

  • Working Girl says:

    this is lovely, lovely advice. also — make an audio tape of the nonsense sounds your child makes as she is learning to speak.

  • Good advice. I am having a doula this time and part of what she does is take notes and then writes up a birth story for you. I thought that was really cool. With my first son, I wrote the birth story up afterwards but there was a lot I blocked out (er, I mean, forgot about) so I’m glad she’ll be taking notes for me this time.

  • shauna says:

    What a great suggestion. I had my husband bring my journal each time I was in the hospital (pre-blog) and wrote about it then. Now that I look back, I’m glad I did…

  • Yes, definitely write it down (and then email it to me with pictures for my birth story blog). Do you mind a little shameless promo here Izzy? ;-)http://www.blackbeltmama.com/birthstory

  • Izzy says:

    No, of course not!

    Everyone? Submit your stories to BBM’s Birthstory site!

  • I wrote both my baby’s birth stories while I was still in the hospital. One is on my blog already; the other I cannot bring myself to posting, because then I would be done, I have no tale left to tell (as I doubt I will have more babies) and that depresses me greatly for some reason……

  • Sandra says:

    You are so right abou tthis. I waited a loooong time before writing it down and I wish I hadn’t.

  • Jess says:

    Hey Izzy! It’s been too long since I’ve been by. My sister is having her first baby in August, and I shall share your advice with her. It’s good. :)

  • Spooky says:

    My boy is now 17 months and when I see my friends with their newborn I think, ‘no way could I cope with that’ and then a voice at the back of mind says, ‘you did, dumbass’

  • Jasmine says:

    Hello!

    What coincidence – I wanted to give away a little book specially for moms at all sorts of stages, and thought maybe you could help spread my message.

    I would like to pass along a little book which has given me encouragement during my own days of pregnancy, after-birth blues, and when my babies-turn-climbing-terrors days. It’s a very cute collection of quotes by mommies, daddies on mommies.

    If you know of anyone who might need some gentle encouragement, do let me know, so I can send this to them and say it’s from you!

    There are some pictures of the booklet and pages for you to read at my blog.

    Kind Regards
    Jas
    Coffee, Tea or Baabooo

  • Mom101 says:

    You are so right. I jotted down some notes in the hospital – basic times that things took and all, and have the highlights on my blog, but there’s more that I want to remember for me. Even if it isn’t worth retelling to anyone but Sage. Thank you.

  • Jenifer says:

    I didn’t write one for either of my children and I do regret it. There are already so many fuzzy details of those 2 days! I will have to remember your advice for the next one!!

  • Kel says:

    Now that I have some free time on my hands I’m able to start reading favorite blogs again.

    I just wanted to say how true this is. I wrote down both of the boy’s birth stories and I’m glad I did. In 4 years I’ve forgotten a lot of J’s birth and I’m sure I’ve even forgotten a lot about D’s birth in 2 years.

  • Oh yes… I was just talking about this very thing with my husband. I wish we had written it down from both perspectives – mine and his. Great idea.

  • ewe_are_here says:

    Very good advice. I think I’ve managed to capture both my 4 month old’s and my 2 year old’s births in writing so I don’t forget how I felt.

  • Annie says:

    This is great advice. My baby is 9 months old and I didn’t do it for him (or his older sister come to think of it). Perhaps I’ll do it retrospectively with what I do remember.

    I was just looking at my baby boy’s hands today and thinking – I need to get the camera and take a picture of his small pudgy hand in mine – before he’s all grown and he holds my small hand in his big strong one!

  • Awesome advice. That, and take SO many pictures and videos that people make fun of you. That’s how you know you have enough. ;-)

  • girl says:

    I 100% agree. I didn’t with my oldest son and daughter and regret it VERY much.

  • Deb says:

    And resist the temptation to edit later when you feel less emotional. There is no such thing as goofy gushingness in a birth story.

  • Salihah says:

    Beautiful advice! So many details you think you’ll never possibly forget, but we do. Write them down, cherish always! Love your babies!

  • fidget says:

    This is excellent advice. There is so much one can forget with time. I cant wait to give them to my children as they prepare to become parents one day.

  • Cgiordano says:

    Great advise. My first child will be one in one week and I am going to heed your advise and write his story. I read your and it was wonderful.

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