I know I’m not a perfect mom. Far from it, in fact.
I yell at my kids sometimes; sometimes more than sometimes. I let them eat cereal and yogurt for dinner the other night. I let them watch plenty o’ TV. I look forward to bedtime with a fervor that is shameful and some days, despite my desire to be fully engaged, I feel like I’m just phoning it in. As I said, I’m far from perfect.
But sometimes… I stand back and I look at what I’ve done for the past seven (almost) years and I’m amazed. I amaze myself. I have birthed two children, raised one for nearly seven years and another for nearly two and I haven’t lost them, killed them or (to my knowledge) psychologically scarred them thus far.
They make it to all their scheduled pediatric check-ups, my daughter has been to the dentist for checkups and cleanings (with no cavities!) and they always have clean clothes and mostly healthy food to eat, all thanks to me.
They both get plenty of rest and I try my damnedest to give them plenty of experiences and fun things to do, even if it’s just in our own backyard, and I try to create as many good memories for them as I can without driving myself nuts.
I’ve tried to instill in them good citizenship and to be better than I am (i.e. don’t curse at people in traffic) and I try to minimize other negative influences as much as I realistically can.
I know that none of these are earth shattering things. People do this stuff every day and sometimes with way more kids than I have. I guess I’m just in awe of it all because when I was younger I never pictured myself raising kids OR doing all these domestic things that I admittedly don’t like that much.
I never thought I was the kind of person who would want to care for little beings that don’t have tails or that I would be any good at it. But I do and I am. And I have to admit that I’m proud of myself.
But let me clarify…I’m not proud because my kids are such stellar human beings. I mean they are but they’re little. There’s still a lot of time for me to mess them up.
I’m proud because even though I don’t always love this job, I still get up and do it every day and I still look at each new day as another chance to get it right and leave everything that didn’t go right the day before in the past, which I think is critical to my sanity.
And my kids are happy. Even though I get impatient sometimes with my daughter’s penchant for drama or with my son for dumping the cat food into the cat water again, they KNOW I love them.
They KNOW I care about them and want the absolute best for them in life. They KNOW that I accept them as they are. They KNOW I’m CRAZY about them.
In conclusion…even though I’m not perfect, I’m a damn sight better at this than I ever thought I would be. So I walk a line between motherly self-recrimination for all the things I do wrong and self-congratulation for even being able to do it at all, let alone well. And I think that’s okay to say out loud.
I want to hear you brag. Tell me what makes you proud of yourself as a parent; tell me what you’re doing right, or what you’ve accomplished that you never thought you could do.
Go on. Toot your own horns either here or on your own blog (and let me know about it). You surely deserve it and if YOU don’t do it, who will?
Imperfectly Perfect Moms Linking to this Post:
Chris of Serendipity Mine