If Only Life Were Like TiVo…

Posted by on May 21, 2007

Today my little girl is going on an adventure. Without me. Not that we haven’t been apart before but I’ve never been the type to just drop her off at something (besides school and close friends & family’s houses) and leave her well-being to someone else.

It’s not that I’m overprotective... Okay, it is. Sort of. But still. I just don’t fully trust anyone to watch over her the way I would. I’m her mother.

Anyway, she’s actually getting picked up from school with a bunch of other kids in a Hummer stretch limo and being taken to a fancy restaurant to celebrate a friend’s birthday.

So what’s the big deal? What am I worried about?

Oh gosh, I don’t know. All sorts of unlikely scenarios have flashed through my mind…child molesters in the bathroom; accidental peanut ingestion (she’s deathly allergic); car accidents; her getting left behind. You name it.


I talked to the birthday boy’s mom and explained that TQ has a peanut allergy and that her Epi-Pen injector is in her backpack in case of allergy-induced anaphylactic shock (I swear I’m not some crazy Munchausen-by-Proxy mom. It happens all the time and you can die from it in minutes)

I also asked that she or some other female adult escort TQ to the restroom if need be because we don’t let her go alone in public places.

I told TQ to be on her best behavior and be sure to stay with the group and other sundry safety precautions..

But really…I’ve done all I can reasonably do and though I want to hold tight and never let go, I know this is something I’m going to have to learn to do more and more.

Why does the thought of my firstborn growing up make me feel like there’s a tennis ball in my throat and an anvil on my chest?

Sometimes I wish life was like TiVo and we could just pause and rewind life at will and save the best episodes to enjoy over and over…


43 Comments

  • “Why does the thought of my firstborn growing up make me feel like there’s a tennis ball in my throat and a miniature anvil on my chest?

    Sometimes I wish life was like TiVo and we could just pause and rewind life at will and save the best episodes to enjoy over and over…”

    I couldn’t have said it better. It is HARD when they grow up!!

  • mom blog says:

    Ah, I dont want mine to grow up either…

    But the hummer/limo thingy and birthday party sounds fun. I’m sure she will have a great time…and I know all about your allergy fears! It’s hard to deal with. When our 2 year old goes to school, I’m sure I will have to pack his lunch EVERY DAY!

  • mod*mom says:

    that’s aweful about you daughter’s allergy!
    i’d feel the same about my daughter in your in your situation.

  • Christina says:

    Oh yes, that is a serious allergy and should be explained to anyone watching her. I have friends who also have to keep Epi-pens around for the same reason, and I’ve watched them use them, too. It’s scary.

    A birthday party with a Hummer limo? Wow, swanky party for elementary school!

  • Julie says:

    I’m allergic to peanuts—and I understand that completely.

    I don’t do well (or really much at all) of the drop and go. S few people.

    That’s some party!

    If it helps, I worry too.

  • I know. I really know. My nine-year-old is going on a bus trip with his school to a city two hours away. We will drop him off at school at 6am, and we won’t retrieve him until 7pm. That’s a long time, time enough for me to invent all kinds of worrisome scenarios…

  • I know. I really know. My nine-year-old is going on a bus trip with his school to a city two hours away. We will drop him off at school at 6am, and we won’t retrieve him until 7pm. That’s a long time, time enough for me to invent all kinds of worrisome scenarios…

  • FishyGirl says:

    Oh, since my oldest is only 7 I so know the feeling! To have serious allergies added to that? I think I’d be hard pressed to let her out of my supervision before she was 22 or something.

    That said, that party sure sounded like a good time to me. Peace to both of you.

  • The allergy thing would terrify me too. I have had severe allergic reactions myself, and I hate that whole hospital thing. I must be a thousand times worse to see that potential in a child. Ugh.

    My firstborn is just finishing fifth grade, and is freaking out about entering the middle school grades (our school is a K-8, so she’s staying on campus, but moving over to the middle school “pod.”) She thinks SHE’S scared? Ha! Abject terror only begins to describe my emotions…

  • chris says:

    I think I would be okay with everything except the allergy. That scenario alone would drive me batty!! Everything else though I am pretty low key about (so far).

    Hope TQ has a great time and can’t wait to hear all the gossip from the party!

  • Melanie says:

    As you may have guessed from the overall tenor of my posts about my kids’ safety:
    OMIGOD I AM SO WITH YOU HERE.
    I have had a really hard time with letting go in the past, and even though I’ve done it, I have also experienced TBAS (Tennis-Ball-Anvil Syndrome).
    I have one that’s 13 and one that’s 8, and every day is another exercise in letting go. I wish I could say it gets easier, but for me it hasn’t.
    Even while I look forward to my daughters running free in the world, able to look after themselves, simultaneously I dread it.

  • motherofbun says:

    My sis-in-law is deathly allergic to peanuts too. She has that little pen thingee as well. SO I completely understand you been all worried.

    Your a good mommy! Hope she has fun.

  • Jeff says:

    My girl is only three, so I have not had to face this kind of thing yet. Scary as hell though. You are far from alone. If you weren’t freaked out – I think there would be something wrong with you.

    My wife may be induced tomorrow and have our 2nd girl. We will have to drop our 3 year old off at a neighbors until my dad can pick her up. Even that gives me pause…and that is just a few doors down with a cute little 2 year old girl and her mom.

    I am going to age rapidly over the next decade!

  • Argh, I know. It’s so hard to see their little selves walk out the door and go and do the next thing. It can’t be that they’re ready, can it? I know the feeling. I want to freeze OC as she is, so innocent and sweet and little….it’s hard!

  • kittyhox says:

    I have OFTEN wished for a remote control since my son was born almost one year ago. I just want to rewind, relive, rewind, relive, rewind, relive, etc.

    For the first time in my life, I actually understand those kooky ladies who have twelve children. (Not that I would.) There is nothing that compares to having a child and I can’t help but with he’d stay stay little forever.

    I’m already counting on grandchildren!

  • Gidge says:

    Mine are never going anywhere without me until they are 25.
    I hope they don’t mind me sharing their dorm room.

  • Sandra says:

    Wishing life were like TiVo … brilliant.

    I understand every word of this post completely. Completely. My son is about the same age as your daughter and I just want to fill him full of coffee so he’ll stop growing or hit pause or something.

  • Mary-LUE says:

    You are going to let us know when she gets home, right?

  • Grainne says:

    My son told me today that he wasn’t my baby anymore. Sigh. I guess that if he’s old enough to tell me, then he’s right.
    Just try to think of how excited I imagine she was to be going to this party and go take a walk.

  • It is so scary to let them go. But, a limo party? Unreal! She’ll have a blast.

  • Erin says:

    I’m the same way about the bathrooms, and my daughters are 10 and 12 . I make them go together, if they’re not with me:0

  • Erin says:

    I’m the same way about the bathrooms, and my daughters are 10 and 12 . I make them go together, if they’re not with me:0

  • Cripes, that makes me nervous for you. I can’t imagine actually *being* you.

    Sorry. Not helping.

  • You remind me of the day when I had to let Olivia (she was 4,5 that day) to go on a trip with her school for 2 days. I kept crying and crying. I wasn’t warroed, actually, for she was kind of independent for her age. But, I missed her so dearly. The day when my husband and I picked her up at school she said she would love to go on a nother trip. Me? I was trying to hold back my tears…

    Yeah…I know I shouldn’t have been that hysterical. Maybe it was part hormonal…was on PMS, actually…

  • Carmen says:

    The food allergy thing always gives me pause, Izzy. You are correct to worry about that.

    But, what a treat for her! Try to enjoy your time. Easier said than done, I know!

  • Bitsy Parker says:

    I hear you, sista. Today my precious pea is graduating from Kindergarten.

    P.S. I never thought of not letting my child go to the restroom alone in a public place. Taking a note. Why have I not thought of that? Bad mother!

  • Bitsy Parker says:

    I hear you, sista. Today my precious pea is graduating from Kindergarten.

    P.S. I never thought of not letting my child go to the restroom alone in a public place. Taking a note. Why have I not thought of that? Bad mother!

  • Bitsy Parker says:

    I hear you, sista. Today my precious pea is graduating from Kindergarten.

    P.S. I never thought of not letting my child go to the restroom alone in a public place. Taking a note. Why have I not thought of that? Bad mother!

  • tori says:

    I almost never drop off my son with all the medical issues. I’m not sure what I would do in your situation! His firends mainly have parties where I can drop him off and then sort of hang around. Not in the way, but also close enough just in case. I would be nervous in your situation too, even though there is really nothing to worry about and I am sure everything will be fine.

  • RWA says:

    A Hummer stretch limo?!?!?!? I am so jealous!!!

    I can understand your worries, but I’m sure everything will be fine. She’ll have a great time, and will tell you all of the details afterward.

  • kittenpie says:

    That would be totally nerve-wracking.
    Good for you for having the guts to take a deep breath and let her go! Did she have a great time?

  • Kate says:

    I completely understand your fears, I was with my daughter at the library, she and her friend (both 5 at the time) went to the toilet together and suddenly I had two little girls coming running out of the toilets crying, and telling me that there was a man and a woman in one of the cubicles and that they had tried to grab the kids. I felt absolutely sick and they never go to the toilet without an adult now.
    On the allergy thing, my girl is allergic to dairy, she has massive asthma attacks, I always ask other parents if there is anything that their kid shouldn’t have. Totally understand

  • melody says:

    Four sons and I still feel the same way. I do now let my oldest, 26, go out without supervision…but it only began yesterday. ;)

  • Mal says:

    i’m just like you when it comes to the princes…well, and the genius, even though he’s almost 10! i don’t think it ever goes away.

  • TB says:

    I was thinking today about when I would feel comfortable leaving Myles with someone other than Jeff overnight, like say we wanted a weekend trip by ourselves. The conclusion I reached is that I won’t be able to leave him until he’s old enough to understand that I’m coming back.
    You letting TQ stretch her wings, same thing. So hard and so much thought involved on our part for something that is a normal part of their development.

    Also, a stretch Hummer and fancy restaurant for a five year old birthday party? Whoo – the bar gets set higher and higher doesn’t it?

  • binkytown says:

    I would have done the same thing and tacked a list of all my phone numbers on her shirt with a safety pin. Hope she had fun and you survived!

  • Mom101 says:

    I love your Tivo analogy – I often think that it would be great to rewind things we didn’t pay enough attention to or fast forward through the scary bits.

    I know she’ll be fine. But more…you’ll be fine. Better than fine. And the next one will be even easier.

  • My daughter throws her shoulders back and eyeballs me with a “Mommmm” whenever I start worrying out loud (which is often). I know this fear, and I can imagine that it’s even greater when allergies are involved. But each time it will be less scary. Hang in there!

  • Amy says:

    It’s amazing the places your mind goes when your kids are out of your sight…. Worrying about things that only happen on bad ABC “Afterschool Specials”. I catch myself in that downward spiral all the time. Starting off with “I hope he gets a seat in the front of the bus.” to “I hope he puts on his seatbelt” to “What if the bus skids on an oil spill and plumets off the Brooklyn Bridge?!”
    You are not alone.

  • Michelle says:

    With a name like “Wireless rocket laser blaster thingy” I’m going to have to check it out, too intriguing to miss.

  • It’s heart-breaking to watch them grow up. But then to have to let them go, and trust others for their safety…it’s excruciating.

  • I like you and I like you as a Mom. Your not too over-protective and I’m sure I’ll be the same way. Which is funny because I always hated my Mom for being so “paranoid” growing up. When I think back on it, she was a psychologist in a PRISON during that time. She had every right to be paranoid. I’m surprised she let me leave the house at all.

  • Beth F. says:

    What a great post, I hope your daughter had a wonderful time, I’m sure she had many stories to tell about her adventure.

    You are a fantastic Mother.

Leave a Reply