The Public Library Never Disappoints
I don’t know what it is but a trip to the public library never fails to produce some story or anecdote and our most recent visit was no exception.
I had taken P, now 21 months old, to story time at our local branch library. At first he wasn’t really into it, much preferring to wander around and turn doorknobs, climb chairs and generally check out the room.
But finally, after several false starts, he made his way up to the group of other children and sat down — until he spotted the fabric draped over the Story Lady’s table. See, she brings a colorful fabric that she drapes over the table next to her like a floor-length table cloth and she displays a bunch of books on top it.
P immediately approached and then crawled under the cloth. And then poked his head out out. And then went back under and then came out again, grinning like he was the star of a show doing an encore instead of an incredibly cute toddler disrupting story time.
I bounded out of my seat and tried as discreetly as possible to go under the table from behind and coax P out but he was wily and hard to catch. On my hands and knees, I stuck my head out the front to see about 20 pairs of eye staring back at me.
After much under-the-table wrangling to grab a giggly and very wiggly P, I finally managed to get a hold of him and as I tried to hold onto him and stand up at the same time, my postpartum stress-incontinence reared it’s ugly little head and I peed my fricken pants a teeny bit. Crap.
As I stood up with P in my arms and smiled sheepishly at the crowd, I decided that my bucking and squealing toddler and I should go to the bathroom and survey the state of my jeans and let the Story Lady finish up. Fortunately, as it were, my jeans were spared. Booyah, betches!
We went back in the room as story time was wrapping up so I could collect our stuff and the nice Story Lady told me that in all the years she had been doing this, no child has ever crawled under the fabric before (which I find incredibly hard to believe.) I apologized to the Story Lady, who actually is very sweet & understanding, particularly of toddlers, and we left.
Rest assured that I was sufficiently embarrassed by my son’s shenanigans. Not, however, because I felt like he was misbehaving but rather because of people looking at me the way they did. Not a single smile of understanding in the bunch except from one lone daddy. Thank you, kind sir.
You want to know what I have to say to that?
Lighten UP, people! He’s not even two years old and it’s toddler story time at the library; not dinner with the Queen of England.
I peed my pants for you people. Isn’t that punishment enough? Geez!
LOL! Kids always find some way to embarrass their parents in public. It’s a normal thing to do. At our wedding my oldest two sons gave me away but the four younger children were flower girls and ring bearers. Jakes son, who is 5 was a little terror. He was running around, laying down on the floor, pulling the table cloth off the table where the register for us to sign was - and there were lit candles on it - grabbing the flower girls spiders (it was a halloween wedding so they threw spiders instead of flower petals) and throwing them at the photographer - just anything you can think of. We couldn’t really yell at him right in the middle of the ceremony - it was a nightmare - we had to rely on the other people in the wedding party - it’s so hard to just stand there and say your vows when things are going on in the background…
I agree with you that it is highly unlikely that no child had ever crawled under the fabric before. If they haven’t, then she’s been very sheltered…
Don’t you hate what happens to your body after you have children? I was jumping on the bed with my two oldest kids about 10 years ago and the same thing happened to me… I was just glad I wasn’t in a public place…
Well, at least you’re in good company. See…I’m always “that mom” too. That Mom with the uncontrollable kid. DO is spirited, so it was not just a passing phase. I got used to being “That Mom” with “That Kid”. It doesn’t phase me muh anymore, but I’ve had 9 years to get used to it.
Spirited kids are great. They are curious and they are always looking for an adventure. That’s a good thing. :?)
Ugh…that awful feeling of kid being horrid in public. That feeling that you’re totally alone in this, and that everyone is staring at you, waiting to judge how you react to the situation.
I find myself, still, after almost 10 years of being a mom, coming down much harder on my kids if they misbehave in public than I would if they did the same thing at home. Maybe it’s because of where I live….a certain amount of parental strictness is expected in the South.
I’m lucky, though, to have mellow kids who rarely act out in public. I’m much more likely to embarrass them than the other way around, at least these days.
This makes me think of a funny story that happened to me, but in the reverse (does that make sense?). I was walking through Target with my daughter who was an infant at the time. She was in her stroller, and she started fussing and carrying on. I tried to calm her, but she was having none of that, so I decided it was time to leave.
As I was walking through the store to leave, and she was crying her head off, I passed a father and his daughter who looked to be about 9 or 10. The daughter looked at me in that “can’t you shut that kid up” look, and rolled her eyes. I looked sheepish, but before I could whip out a pithy retort, the father turned to his daughter and said, “What? Like you’ve never made a scene in public?”
With that, the daughter hung her head in embarrassment, the dad looked at me with a wink and smiled.
It made my day.
oh my that’s awful and hilarious all at the same time. Next time parents give you that look of “MY child would never do that” (yeah right) just stick your tongue out at them and cross your eyes. Maybe they’ll be the ones peeing their pants!
Ah, story time. Like any group of small children ever sits still and quiet? Yeah right. When they’re six years old and in my classroom, and they think I am the Goddess of Cool, THEN they sit still. An even then only until November when they realize I kind of like a little noise and I’m not at all scary.
Don’t worry about it. They may have given you bad looks, but deep down they were thinking, “Oh my…that could be me and my kid under that table!!!!”
Next time , take a camera…would have been a funny pic.
I can’t believe you were getting the hairy eyeball from those moms. Lighten up indeed!! I probably would have thought it was adorable.
Pee happens, huh?
I’m also the mom with the uncontrollable toddler at any event. Cordy simply cannot handle large groups performing an organized activity, and she will scream, cry, or just run around the room like she’s crazy. And rarely do other parents show any understanding.
It’s why we don’t go to many storytimes or toddler classes. I’m tired of always being looked at as the bad mom.
I have been THAT mom many times. And hope to be that mom many more times.
Sounds like your kiddo is normal and curious. Yea him! I’d have stuck my tongue out at all the parents when I poked my head out from underneath.
But I’m a shit disturber that way. And then I would have carefully positioned my toddler in front of my crotch as I waddled away.
Hoping none of the tight asses noticed any wet marks.
Perhaps you need to find a more child friendly reading group? One where kids can be kids and parents not receive the hairy eye for it?
I’m glad the Story Time lady was understanding. Although she had to be lying when she said no other children had ever crawled under her table…that’s not even possibly true.
I’m irritated that the other mothers didn’t offer even a smile to say, “hey, I’ve been there, it’s okay.” Jerks.
Good story… I don’t have children but have seen these situations before! I also wanted to comment on your Wacky Pack story… I’m shocked they still make those and I used to love them! By the way this is a very interesting blog. If you get the chance stop by my blog: http://www.mookyshood.blogspot.com.
My oldest screamed through her entire baptism. The church was filled with other parents of infants having their children baptised, and not one looked like they had any idea that a baby could cry. Come on moms! Give each other a break and some support!
I don’t get it. I teach a yoga class for “families.” I tell people some days we don’t get to do any yoga and if they are looking for ‘quiet’ and ‘calm’ they are going to find it through chaos.
Man, I don’t understand that. I mean you’d think someone used to dealing with the 3 and under set would be used to some shenanigans.
If I weren’t moving I’d bring the twins to the next one and really rock her world!
I like the days that I find some sort of Mom Zen the best. They’re screaming their heads off in public, people are giving me the stink eye and I’m just IGNORING THOSE [insert various expletives here]!!!
WHAT THE HELL? What do people expect toddler’s to do @ story time? Sit indian style with their hands folded in their laps and raise their hands when they would like to speak?
I do it alot…..pee on myself tat is.
yep, daddy’s know cause daddy’s have to live with those looks…
:) but they typically come from our wives :) LOLOLOLOLOL
Sounds like an enjoyable time :)
The other moms sound lovely, I’m sure you’ll be getting Christmas cards for life.
Jamie
Ah Izzy what do you do.
I’m LOL with you, really I am. What a thing. Half totally aggravating, half a little ridiculous-to-humorous.
And that is why my girls and I do not go to story hour at the library.
Every single instance in my pathetic attempts to get Out of the House last summer that landed us at story time ended up with some anecdote like that and a librarian saying, “Uh wow, never have had that happen before!” then nervously laughing to soften the blow. Or something.
Of course, that’s the Big Library in the Big Town nearby.
We were asked to not return to the library in our town.
The baby freaking cried in story hour…she’s a baby, it happens! And the older one was a little hyper, but that’s her.
Nothing out of the ordinary…they didn’t scale the curtains or anything (which is totally feasible with them).
But no the librarian had to say, “You might wait to return until…they are a little better behaved.”
I might have said, “Oh kiss my ass,” but I was sleep-deprived and on PPD meds so reality versus fantasy is a little hazy.
BTW? At story hour? I am convinced mms like me with kids like mine usually Do. Not. Go.
The moms there have those semi-mythical urban legend “sits quietly and listens, follows instructions, never runs away, and would never scale a book shelf” kids.
So don’t you fret.
That was great! Sorry about your pants, though.
Yeah, toddlers are toddlers and I swear, I don’t get how people with children can’t understand that parents are not in control all the time. Geez! It’s not like you were sitting there going, “Allright, P! Way to crawl there! That’s my boy!” Or something.
Moms could do a lot more to support one another in times like these. After all, we’ve all been there.
I can relate. My kids…in public…shudder. I love it when I see someone’s kids making a scene in public…because for once, it is not happening to me! :)
All of us have had moments like these…
And from what I read this moment was not a biggy…So what he climbed under a table???
‘In all her years she has never seen a kid do that???Ohhh, I think
not…
‘ Yes she has…
I remember one time Scooter had an absolute meltdown after I finished grocery shopping… Now,normally no big deal, but Izzy,I amone of those crazy people who do not drive to pick up groceries, I use my daughter’s red wagon…
So, My daughter decides to have her ‘moment’ in front of a Greek Orthothodox Church just as the funeral service was
letting out we were in the parking lot as she was flailing her body about with all these women in black dresses looking at me to stop her…
I of course, could not as it had to get out…and I could not haul her and the groceries…(which were melting on a hot, hot summer day)
I never judge as ALL of us,even those women in the black dresses who chose to say “tisk tisk. ‘. When I see a mom in distress… I buy her a coffee as I have lived it. I would have bought you a coffee Izzy!
I signed Julia up for Story Time at the library when she was about 2 and I was pregnant with Oliver. I had pretty much the same experience that you had, minus the coloured fabric and the peeing of the pants (but I wasn’t far off, I assure you). The Story Time woman actually asked us to leave. I never went back.
I would have laughed my butt off…people are WAY too uptight!
You need to practice those Kegels! LOL
Kegels shmegels I say. That shit doesn’t work for stress incontinence. This from a woman who leaks pee with every sneeze, cough and laugh at this point and I haven’t even given birth yet :o)
2 out of my 3 would have been under the table with him, vying for laughs from the crowd of horrified spectators. Yeah, we normally skip story time at the library.
dude. yes. there are better things to get pissy about (pun most certainly intended)
LMAO! People’s sanctimonious behavior always seems to amaze me. I wish they would tell us how they raise such “perfect” children.
And I’ve wet a few jeans in my day, so glad to see someone else has similar issues!
Ahhhh, I can soooo relate. Just today we had our own version at storytime. Only ours involved my daughter being the life of the party and screaming out “Let’s DANCE!” in the middle of it.
Oh, and that creepy librarian. Who talks to the children so sugary sweet but sounds ready to BLOW at any second….
I, too, have often had those moments when my little Flava Ave has been “wily and hard to catch.”
no child has ever crawled under the fabric before? Yeah right?! That’s the first move the kid learns.
What the hell? I always crack up at the misbehaving toddler. (Even if it means the mom gives me a nasty go-to-hell look.)
Why are they at story time if they didn’t expect to see toddlers?
This is why I hate socializing with other moms. :( My anxiety sky-rockets because of it.
Hey Izzy…
Were you the one who blogged about your concept of time versus your husband’s?
I can’t remember who wrote it, but it was hilarious. And I wanted to show it to a friend.
I’m always confounded when people–people with children!–can’t give you that compassionate nod of understanding in situations like this. Makes you wonder whether they’re just too busy freaking out that their own child might do the same. Oh, the horror.
You mean you didn’t motion to your crotch and yell, “Now look what you made me do!” to your son?
OK. I wouldn’t have either. But can you just imagine the other biatches’ horrified faces?
Mother on mother rudeness is unforgiveable. Period.
i pee in my pants all the time, ESPECIALLY when i’m trying to calm my beasts down in public. but then, i’m totally uptight and would love to muzzle the chitlin’s when it comes to moments of total embarrasement.
I don’t think they had a no kids allowed sign, so the goons should just simmer down. I try to be very tolerant of kids, well except Robert in Walgreen yesterday. He was a hard one to tolerate. I hope our paths don’t cross again! ;)
How rude! I run storytimes all the time and I can tell you two things. ONe: I’d never have cloth on the table because I would just assume somebody’s little one would yank on it out of curiosity or trying to pull themselves to standing. Two: kids do all kinds of things during storytime, from running and screaming to sleeping to pulling out their willy. Ya just have to take it in stride and keep going. On occasion, I’ll suggest a mom take him out in the hall till he’s calmed a bit, then come on back. SEriously. They’re kids - LITTLE kids!