Home Depot is My Bitch
The other day our ancient over-the-range microwave finally died. We didn’t mourn it’s passing in the least. I mean, it had faux wood grain on it, for God sake. We were glad it finally shit the bed and went to microwave heaven so we could justify buying something new and sleek that didn’t reek of the Reagan years.
So…on Sunday we made the pilgrimage to that electronics mecca, Best Buy, and their selection sucked. They were out of everything we wanted and their stuff was notably overpriced so we bought a bag of Combos and split for Home Depot.
Good selections, the right color, reasonable prices, helpful staff. We were sold. We made our selection (a nice Maytag) and took it home.
Well, we finally got the fricken thing mounted and hello? It doesn’t work. Well, it does if you don’t mind standing in front of it, slowly incinerating your innards while you hold the door closed. To say Husband was pissed would be an understatement. We’d spent the bulk of our kids-in-bed Sunday evening screwing around with this and we still had no microwave.
I went back to Home Depot Monday night, returned it, got a new one and brought it home. We got it up in minutes, but when we went to attach it to the cabinet, the screws don’t fit the holes in the microwave. I go back to Home Depot. They give me the screw kit from another box and I go home. These screws DON’T FIT, EITHER!!!
Husband is so annoyed he has to take a nap. I, on the other hand, am merely irritated, thanks to my Zoloft, which seems to prevent me from getting spitting mad about much of anything. I soothe my irritation by watching “I Love New York” and eating Hershey’s Kisses.
It’s now Tuesday. We’ve had no microwave since the previous Friday and I’m starting to have withdrawals. I mean, cooking on the stove top is really quaint and all but I want the power to nuke and I want it YESTERDAY!
I call Home Depot’s management and tell them what the deal is. Of course they tell me to bring the microwave back in and they’ll give me a new one. And of course I tell them, as nicely as I can, that there is no fricken way I’m loading that thing up and bringing it back to the store AGAIN. Nor will I come in and pick up new screws or anything else that would involve any more wasted time on my part.
I then suggest that if they really want to make up for all the trouble this microwave has caused me they should pack up an assortment of screws and BRING THEM TO ME.
And holy shit! They totally DO. They actually deliver screws to my house.
SWEET!
But none fit. So the guy leaves and comes back twice. Finally on the third try, he brings mounting screws that actually fit the damned microwave.
We have liftoff!!!
Problem totally solved and I didn’t even have to leave my house.
It would have been even better if I hadn’t had to get dressed either but whatever…
Home Depot is mah BITCH!!!!
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Ultimately, I was pleased with Home Depot’s response. Maytag, however, is still on my shit list for their very poor quality control.
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They so need to PAY you.
Wow, if that happened to me, my world and blog would have self-destructed.
UGH! A couple years ago - just before the warranty ran out - we had the eff’ing whirlpool mircrowave repair man here nonstop! I should have just given him a damn key, and the best part? The microwave STILL won’t make microwave popcorn - it FRIES the innards of the machine. We’ve tried every brand under the sun, so… no more popcorn for us. I can’t wait till that thing dies. Oh and now it makes a weird humming noise like it’s about to explode whenever we turn it on so we have to evacuate the kitchen to nuke leftovers. Spectacular.
Wow! I’m glad it is fixed, but what a pain in the ass! My son walks around quoting me all the time and his favorite phrase to qoute is me saying “I just don’t have time for this” I think that about sums up your experience!
Love Home depot…even though its presence puts smaller mom/pop businesses under. And I hate that, but I’m lured by the smell of fresh lumber and paint.
I’m planning on a home depot trip for a few things this weekend. I may have to change that…. hrm…
Well done - way to stick it to the man.
Home Depot will do what it takes to make it work - even if it is three trips from the store to your house with screws. In my experience, however, Lowe’s does NOTHING of the sort and doesn’t give a damn about customer service.
Thank goodness for Home Depot.
Wow, you rock! Did they pull up in a big Home Depot truck? And, I’m impressed you can watch I Love New York. That show depresses me to no end.
LOL! I love to turn the Bitch on! It’s one of my favorite past times, really. My husband is always amazed at what I can accomplish by being a total, complete, psychopathic bitch. The meek inheriting the earth - I THINK NOT!
Way to go. You showed them.
Jamie
If Home Depot was really your bitch, they would have stopped to get you a toothbrush on their way. :)
I bow down to you, oh wise one.
Thanks for the lesson. I can’t wait to apply it and see if I can make a big box store my bitch too…
Impressive! My dad used to work there, between engineering careers, and I have to say they tend (around here anyway) to go out of their way to find people who know what they are talking about. Glad you got A) a working microwave (my kids would starve if I had to go that long without one) and B) got to get your bitch on. Three snaps in a Z formation!
Saaa-weet! That’s great! Did they mount it for you too?
You Rock
Home Depot couldn’t screw you over : )
Love it!!! I like a little anti-depressent/I Love New York therapy, tooo!!!!!!
Aw….Zoloft :) I’m impressed that Home Depot made a house call! Although they rightfully should have in that messed up situation. I don’t know what we would do without our microwave…seriously, we might starve!
It must be in the air because after my meeting I am going to post my pissed-off-over-customer-service story too! And the Lexapro did *not* keep the Inner Bitch from rising out of my chest and riping the lady behind the counter a new one.
But anyway. Glad you are back in the 21st Century.
Can you make them mine now? I SO have some projects around here…and could use a new dishwasher.
Good to know that a little extra complaining will get your stuff fixed. Way to make them your bitch!
And don’t be surprised if you hear form them after this blog post.
When I blogged about a negative experience that remained unresolved, corporate office contacted me and had that situation settled up nice and smiley for my immediately.
Good for you telling them what they needed to do…and good for them doing it!
My hero. I totally would have dragged my ass into Home Depot four or five times. You are awesome.
What a great testimony! I have new found appreciation for Home Depot, I have to say. And good for you putting your foot down, sometimes that is all it takes, yet we don’t even try. You have inspired me to try in the future.
And, “Husband is so annoyed he has to take a nap.” is just classic!!!
Wow. How did you do that? I couldn’t even get OUT of the STORE. I was just glad I didn’t get glued to the toilet seat.
You have POWERS.
Awesome. Delurking to say that you must have that special gold-plated Zoloft… mine still allows me to spit nails on a regular basis. How do I get me some of those?
You lucked out.
I hate the “Home of Pot” and it pisses me off just driving past it…Good for you making it your bitch…
You totally rock. You are my frickin idol.
You’re awesome girl! I would never have had the guts to say that and would have probably swallowed my pride and took it back in. But you had the guts to say what you would expect them to do, and they did it. They are totally you’re bitch! I’m going to try being more assertive and see if gets me anywhere…
I’m impressed, they actually sent somebody.
I would have thrown it off the roof and then called them to scrape it off my driveway and bring me a cash refund, plus interest.
I have gone for weeks without using the microwave, but I really can’t go with out Home Depot for more than a day or so. Glad you all fixed.
are you into sharing your ‘bitch’?
I have this remodel to do in the lower levels of ye ‘ole homestead…
I think that it might actually turn me on if a company cared enought o KEEP sending screws. But you know, I’m simple like that.
Bitch Verb. Noun. Whatever. I ‘ll take it if it cuts through the bullshit of not getting what you pay for. I bow down to you because I have both bitched and been a bitch, but never have I been rewarded with such a kick ass at your service response.
Will you email me please, I would like to ask you a question? jareason@gmail.com
Reaffirms my belief in customer service…
Yeeehewww…
That is fantastic! I love it when seombody actually goes the extra mile (or few miles, as the case may be) to fix something that shouldn’t have been a problem in the first place. It makes it seem like they care to do their job well. Kudos, to Misterpie’s favourite destination!
Wow … that’s good it all turned out well. But what a royal pain. I heart Home Depot.
I’m up for a raise in two months. I’m putting you down as my agent. I’m looking for 5 percent, two additional days of vacation, gas money and season tickets to the Chargers. Forty-yard line, mid-level is fine. I’ll be in touch.
PS: I’m adding you to my blogroll. You’re stuck with me. Gum on a shoe. Sometimes you just gotta roll with the punches. Sorry.
That microwave dilemma would have left me fuming. I’m in awe of your powers to bring the big company to you. Otherwise I have a feeling you would still be in search of the right screw.
Now that is customer service, but considering the trouble you had, they should have tossed in a free washer/dryer.
(I Love New York is one of my guilty pleasures. I can’t let my husband catch me watching it, or he’ll totally guilt-trip me for watching ’such crap.’)
LMAO “qaint” cooking on the stove top. LMAO Girl, at my house, I try to avoid the stove at all costs.
We bought a tractor from Home Depot a couple of years ago, and the first time we used it, black smoke billowed out everywhere. We took it back, and they gave us a new one, but the next day we found out they gave us a prior years model with a different engine. We called them up, and not only did they deliver a new tractor saving us the hour long round trip, but they also attached the grass catching thingy that we were scared to do ourselves, because we didn’t want giant blades ripping our arms off.
i love home depot! but reading this kinda made me irritated for you…i do not take zoloft (though i should). and just as a side note, i’m sure the delivery guy would not have minded at all!
Good for you Izzy! I’m glad service is still alive and kicking now a day.
That is awesome! I had thought it’d be nice for them to deliver, but a little too nice, you know, like, La La Land nice. (Read: No Fucking Way.)
Going without a microwave is weird, isn’t it? How did people do it? Reheating things like coffee and spaghetti on the stovetop made me feel like a 50’s housewife…….1850’s…….
We have had many problems with Home Depot so we go to Lowe’s. Glad you were able to get them to come to your house. Eeek. Maybe that’s why I’m still not pregnant. I often stand in front of the microwave in some dazed stupor while waiting for whatever’s in there to finish… My eggs might be as fried as my brain is.
Glad you got your screws from Home Depot, instead of the alternative. But they wouldn’t dare mess with you!
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