Freaky Parent Sighting
P and I were in the ladies room of the public library waiting for TQ to use the bathroom. While waiting, a woman came in with her daughter who was about 8 or 9 yrs old. She ushered the daughter into the empty stall and then stood outside peeking through the crack in the door, essentially WATCHING HER PEE, the entire time.
At first I thought she was speaking a foreign language that I didn’t recognize but then I realized she was just talking really, really fast. The only parts I could accurately decipher were her repeatedly telling the girl, “Come on, hurry up, let’s go”, all the while watching her through the crack.
The girl looked very uncomfortable when she came out. We made eye contact and I smiled at her. Then her mother glowered at me like I was Satan’s handmaiden and proceeded to further micromanage the girl’s handwashing while telling her to…you guessed it…HURRY UP. WTH?
When TQ was done and we all exited the bathroom, I saw that they were in the kids area and the girl was looking at books while her mom flipped through a magazine.
Where’s the fricken fire, lady? You rushed (and spied on) your daughter the whole time she was peeing and washing her hands so you could read a magazine?
When we were in the car, TQ told me she recognized the lady as an aide from her school.
That wacko works with kids???
Am I the only one who thinks the freaky pee-watching mother was beyond weird and possibly bordering on abusive?
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From my Six Year Old…100% unprompted:
“They should call Wal-Mart “Skidmark” instead. You know, like dirty underwear.”
My loathing of our local Wal-Mart may have influenced her a tad…
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From my Six Year Old to My Husband:
You’re the Dad of Rock! Put on some punk rock. Or some jungle. C’mon Daddy!
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I Talk in My Sleep:
“I’m bored off my ass. I fucking hate this.”
Apparently, I also swear like a sailor when I’m talking in my sleep…
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Word most totally guaranteed to make my son burst into a fit of giggles even though I’m certain he doesn’t know what it means:
BUTTCAKE!
Okay, I probably should just email this but here’s a question. I see you’re now sporting an attractive 9Rules button on your sidebar and checked and yes, you are now part of the community. Did you sign up back in October during the 5th round? I’m curious because I did too but never heard a thing on it. I emailed them twice and they blew me off, I never heard a thing. I did hear rumor that it’s just taking forever for them to go through each submission and approve or reject. I’ve just wondered if they rejected me and didn’t bother to let me know. What was your experience?
Your husband should tape you when you talk in your sleep. I think it would make a dandy audio post!
LMAO! Buttcake is funny.
Although I don’t know what that means, either…
It tickles me to no end that your 6-year-old knows what jungle music is!! Hhaahha!
Buttcake will have to be adopted here at house of joy for it is MOST excellent.
My neighbor is a record producer guy… also the DAD of ROCK! — though as we are in the ATL, it’s mostly hip hop - where is my punk rock neighbor? Where is my ROCK DAD neighbor who likes Janes Addiction and The Flaming Lips? …and will he and his lovely wife be moving in next door any time soon?
One day, I aspire to have my kids call me The Mom of Rock.
Ohmigosh that is too funny! Skid-mart! Buttcake! LOVE IT. Definitely gonna be a new word at our house too.
Last time my husband talked in his sleep he said “I can’t catch the pig!” I don’t even wanna know.
Ooo, you canNOT teach a kid that stuff — it is innate. You must have passed on your remarkable ability to turn a wicked phrase to your 6-year-old. I’m impressed!
My almost 11-year-old daughter told me today, “Mom, I don’t ever want to listen to anything but rock, just like you. I’m always gonna be cool like you.” Sweet!
OMG !!
I luh-HUVE “Skidmark” !!
Beautiful !!
Silly
Hmmmm…for a six year old not to like Wal-Mart, I would say that there has to be some parental influence!
Hey yes, I do think the woman sounded very weird. An 8 year old is perfectly capable of going to the toilet herself. Why would her mother be spying on her? Another thing - it bothers me even more that she could peek through a crack! That means ANYONE could!
I say that when I’m awake…AND in my sleep.
And I can’t comment on that spying mother…Mine in only 3 and refuses to sit, so I do that all the time (without the angry Hurry up though)….I’m assuming by the time she’s 8, I’ll stop going with her (in the stall or wathcing her) to the bathroom, but she won’t go on the potty so I just may be doing that until she’s 40.
But I do feel that rushing your kid to read a magazine is totally insane. She is obviously a freak of nature…and selfish and probably has a phobia of public bathrooms and their germs…
poopybutt is a favorite in our house. The 2 year old loves it!
As for the rushing of the child peeing just to sit down and read a magazine, well, thats quite selfish…I’ve seen it quite a bit though so it doesnt surprise me…
I have a 12 yr old daughter who takes her time at everything. She also has attention deficit. I’ve pushed her to hurry many times, out of necessity, but to spy on a kid like that…geez. Poor kid.
Also we hate Walmart too. And Daddy isn’t a producer but an engineer. He’s the guy who deciphers what the producer wants and then makes it happen! He works out of Toronto area though, so he’s very well hidden and I guarantee you haven’t heard of him…
My daughter is 9 (today) and would freak out if anyone (even me) watched her pee. I hate peeing in public because of stuff like that. People always look through the crack.
I don’t know why, but the first thing that came to mind was that this girl had been kidnapped and the woman was making sure she wasn’t inscribing a “rescue me” note on the bathroom door.
No, that mom WAS wierd. First of all, way to give your kid pee issues by rushing her for no reason, second way to make her feel like there is NO place in the world that she can have privacy- not even the bathroom. So yea, I agree with you.
OMG! Skidmark! That’s genius, I am so stealing it! LOL!
And no, you’re not the only one who thinks it’s weird and overbearing and a little on the abusive side - in a weird overpowering psychy sort of way. Ick! And she works at your daughter’s school! Ummmm, I’d be very uncomfortable with that! Yikes!
Pee mom sounds like a total control freak. God people like that make me crazy.
Clearly, the woman in the bathroom is terrified of the monster who comes when you flush. Since her daughter often forgets how horrible the monster is, she was monitoring the handle of the toilet. She didn’t know when your daughter would finish and wanted to be out in time.
Or something unpleasant is going on. Maybe the daughter goes pee every two minutes and she was just checking to see what she actually does? Or the woman has bathroom phobia? Or the daughter is afraid of the bathroom because something scared her there once, and wants to be able to see her mother’s there? Those would be the best unpleasant scenarios. She could also, alas, as you say, just be a slightly abusive jerk.
I would be scared to know how she interacts with kids as an aide at school.
1) There are some people who should not have kids.
2) or work with any kids!
Talking in your sleep- hilarious! I wonder what you were doing? I totally understand the random hurry up mode. Lord knows I ask myself where the freaking fire is some days. But let the poor kid whiz in peace! And privacy! That’s a child that will be talking about “boundry issues” with her therapist in about 20 years.
this is terrible and embarrasing. My husband and I are very patient, laid back people. Our two year old, of course, is not yet.
I never ever realized we swore so much? Or so obviously? I thought we contained it when the kids were around.
So our son was playing with a frog and a duck in the tub last week. He (as the duck) was trying to coax the frog into the tub. When said frog would not jump in on duck’s ommand, he clearly said, ‘Oh, fuck it.” as duck went off swimming alone.
Dear God, please let him have a very understanding preschool teacher. Or one that swears like a sailor.
lol…I feel ya. I really do. My daughter’s uttered some real
doozies this past year. I can’t imagine WHERE she gets it :)
It’s a flat turd, typically found that way upon opening the diaper :)
No bovine growth hormone, and lots of subversive jams. That\’s how we raise up our young\’uns in these parts :)
They have these shirts in Target (too big for your kids but you could always save them) that say “My Dad Rocks” and “My Mom Rocks”. They’re so cute!
Believe me, if there had been ANY valid reason, such as ADD, that I could have discerned, I would have viewed the whole thing differently. It was just really effin weird.
The pee spy mom has major issues. At first I wondered if it was because she suspected her daughter of bulimia but I would hope that her daughter is not battling that at such a young age. Plus what is up with her glaring at you for smiling at her daughter? That experience is freaky.
How strange…bet Freud would have something to say about that!
When he wasn’t coked up, I mean.
You come across all the freakiest people, Izzy. Is that a Tampa thing or do you just attract the crazies for some reason? Like the one normal planet around which they all gravitate. It’s good for blogfodder at least!
(And by the way, this was my comment before I even got to the part about people commenting on it. )
Your son and I have the same opinion re: WAL-MART… although, he has a much nicer way of putting it!
And as for the wacko OCD momma… she was a little freaky, and unfortunately some are like that. The extreme Type A personalities that are always in a hurry… she must have been reading a darn good article in that magazine!
That lady probably pays with a check at the grocery store and does not accelerate when the light turns green…yet her kid cannot whiz in peace. nice.
Yeah, buttcake is pretty cool. You should make a bundt cake and tell your kid that it is a real BUTTCAKE. Wait until ASSFACE starts coming out of their little mouths. Then you are cooking with gas, yeah!
My girl has Damnit down pat - in the right context and everything. I love it. What a proud papa I am!
Ah the genius phrases I’ve picked up as a result of the internet - Skid-mart and buttcakes will definitely be among them. I refuse to shop there ever.
Ok I’ll step on my soapbox and say poor kid! My happiest times as a kid were at the library and stuff like that as a kid. I can’t imagine what it would have been like to do them with a parent like her around. I also think kids that age can likely pee on their own, and having a parent look in on you when you’re peeing will likely cause you issues later in life. Frightening, really. I really can’t think of any justification for it.
I’ve been looking for a word to adequately express my hatred for WalMart. Bingo!
And the lady in the bathroom does sound freaky, but maybe that was the tenth time her daughter had insisted on going. Although, watching? Oddular.
I’m weirded out by the freaky lady but people in restrooms tend to weird me out in general. I wonder if she does that at home? Peaks through the key hole?
If your kid is three and you’re in the public toilet, you go INSIDE the stall with her. But when she’s eight you DO NOT go in and you DO NOT watch her while she’s doing it. What a freak! Poor kid.
I actually wanted to talk about the freeky pee-peeping mother, but you pretty much covered the issue.
What I really want to discuss is why you find it necessary to talk about how boring sleep is, while you are sleeping!!
Skidmark! LOL- love it!
As for the mom- that’s just way too controlling. Unfortunately, if this is a window into how they live on a day to day basis, her daughter is going to have major issues with control and will have trouble making decisions as an adult.
Regarding the mom, she’s lucky I wasn’t in the can with her because I don’t know if I would have had the restraint not to ask her “Is everything okay?” This is what I tend to do if I see something that seems “off” to me. Usually the question will prompt a person to then either explain what is going on or they will stop doing the behavior or they will take me up on my offer to help. So far I haven’t had anyone tell me “Fuck off and leave us alone” but I guess that could happen at some point.
As far as statements made by my children:
The term”Buttmunch” appears to be the one that will put my kids into fits of laughter. I also remember the first day of preschool for my youngest. I was driving him over, it was a new school for him and he was happily singing in the back seat. It took me a few minutes to realize he was singing a song he made up himself and it went like this, “Poopy, penis, butt cack (sic), JuhJyna(sic)” I did have a momentary panic that he would sing the song AT preschool, but that never happened and the preschool still thinks he is charming. Which he can be, just not singing that particular song.
Iz, as soon as i read it i thought….oh, no. stop. please. stop.
it’s hard to know what the situation was, but when i hear a child being chided or scolded in a way that feels wounding, i want to gather them up and whisper that hey, whoa, this is temporary, sweet child…it will not always be like this….so yes….damn. it may be minor, but i think i know exactly what you mean…the wounding of the heart.
I thought there was a fire at my son’s kindergarten yesterday. That or some other kind of earthquake. A perpetually cranky young aide snapped at someone as I turned to go out the door after dropping my son off: “WHAAA? Cut that out! Why are you doing that???? Stop it? HEEEYY!” I turned around to see that she was screeching and screaming at my son for removing a word sticker that said “table” from the table he was sitting at. OHMYGOSH. Call the cops. Forgive him for being curious about reading. You’d think by the aide’s cantankerous tone and high volume belting that he’d throttled another kid or swallowed a whole bottle of rubber cement. Geez. She’s allowed to work with kids in their first year of school. Go figure? Your impatient bathroom mom reminded me of her.
I’ve never heard buttcake before… that’s a good one.
Like Kristen, my first thought was that the lady might have been a kidnapper, but apparently she’s just icky and intrusive and mean. Seriously, I let me 2.5-year-old go to the bathroom alone at home. If we were in public, I’d go in with her to assist with balancing on the edge, wiping, pulling up, etc., but by the time she’s, I don’t know, maybe 6, I think she’ll be okay in there on her own and I can just hang by the sink. Or even outside, as long as I can see the door from where I am. I feel bad for that little girl.
Oh how freaky weird! Why would you watch a child pee who is that old? And be in such a hurry to get out of the bathroom. Totally weird. I agree!
That is so weird! Poor girl! For a mother to do that is weird and I’m sure made that poor girl uncomfortable. I had a dad who intruded on my privacy, but I don’t think he watched me pee. He was weird. A whole ‘nother story, though. :D
the pee watching mother is odd I agree. But you made me remember myself today as I was like a drill sargeant trying to get my kids ready for the day…”are you pooing. sigh. ok. hurry up ok sweetie…hurry hurry hurry”. We were totally late for school however. Third day in a row….
I don’t think it’s overreacting to react to that woman in the bathroom. With a 3 or 4 year old that behavior would be normal-ish, but not with an older child. It’s possible there’s some rational explanation, but why rationalize everything? We can make judgement calls and question peopel on what looks like perturbing or abusive behavior. That is part of looking out for other people — not “annoying drive-by parenting”. (It has to be allowed that it’s possible to be wrong in those judgements, but we have to make them, too.)
I’m a big fan of entering instant meta commentary in as un-hostile a manner as possible; for example saying something to her in a cheery way like “Huh, why are you watching her pee? That strikes me as an odd thing to do.”
No matter what she then says, you have conveyed the message to the child that an adult has noticed their parent/caretaker’s behavior is off - you are denormalizing the possible abuse.