A Shiny New Year
As I sat down to try and put some thoughts together to sum up 2006, I decided to look at what I wrote last year on December 31, 2005:
Hope everyone had a fun and safe New Years Eve. I watched Dick Clark while I chatted on the phone and folded laundry. Yes, I know. I really need to stop living in the fast lane. I have children to consider now.
Do ya’ll know how they use plastic-coated wire to secure Barbie dolls to the cardboard inside the box? I hate to say this but I think that’s what they did with Dick Clark. The poor guy had a stroke like 2 years ago, right? He really looked like he had some plastic-coated wire around his middle securing him to his chair. I don’t want to be cruel but maybe it would have been better for him to have been remembered the way he used to be. I really felt bad for him.
And Mariah Carey? What was with that get-up she had on? She looked like an ice skater in that sparkly, spangly outfit. Only Tina Turner can get away with that and not look like an idiot. What happened to Mariah Carey anyway? She used to be somewhat dignified. Is it just me or has her cheese factor increased over the last several years right along with her blonde highlights and bra size?
After this year’s requisite viewing of Dick Clark’s So NOT Rocking New Years Eve, I’m certain that they are still Barbie-wiring Mr. Clark to his chair. There’s just nothing “rocking” about Dick Clark anymore and watching him is depressing. I don’t want to think about getting old or having a stroke or anything that miserable at the dawn of of a new year. And the Jersey Boys? WTF is that shit? People, please. That’s the music of my PARENT’S generation. Let’s just keep the Jersey Boys on Broadway, okay?
I was considering doing a review of my year after reading this fine example but honestly, the best things about 2006 for me were watching my kids grow and blossom and just totally digging them. BlogHer in San Jose was a lot of fun, too, but really, 2006 wasn’t a particularly exciting year. Not a whole lot happened, good OR bad so I decided to forgo the retrospective.
I also considered doing the lists thing but there’s no reason to when all the work has been done already. Thank you, Beth! Instead, I opted for a brief list of A Few of the Things That Got on My Nerves in 2006:
- • Billy Mays and his loud, annoying voice. Basically, it’s like this… Oxy Clean = Good. Billy Mays in Oxy Clean commercials = VERY VERY BAD.
• The term “baby bump.” I hate it so much. It’s not a fucking “bump.” A bump is a term associated with snorting coke. Or that dance craze from the seventies. I wish magazines and tabloid TV shows would quit saying it. I want to throw things at the television when they do.
• The crooked baseball cap ala K-Fed. It looks STUPID. Stop doing it, people. RIGHT NOW!!! That means you, Pink and your huz, too.
Okay, enough about the new year. It will all be over in a few minutes and then we can move on to either sticking with or totally ignoring our resolutions. My resolutions are sort of vague but basically involve getting more sleep and trying to lose this last ten pounds of baby fat that I’ve been complaining about forever.
The good news is that I’d been totally fearful, after a trip to Target’s dressing room with it’s mirrors that let you see your back fat much too clearly, that I’d gained weight over the holidays but the scale says nothing gained…or lost. I’m exactly the same as I’ve been for a while now which blows me away because after going back on birth control I am SO hungry that I feel like I’m pregnant. Such irony…
Does anyone know of something over-the-counter that safely suppresses your appetite? Seriously. Better living through chemistry in ‘07, at least where my back fat is concerned… That’s my new motto.
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year, Izzy!
I hate dressing room mirrors. Ack. That is why I never try on clothes. The lighting, the angles, the horror!
I’m with you on the bump thing…when magazines have “Bump Watch” over a picture of some stick thin actress with her hand near her belly - is even worse.
Mel
Happy 2007 Izzy.
Are you crazy actually LOOKING into those dressing room mirrors? That’s enough to throw me over the edge. Really. You are brave.
MY pet peeve is when someone with a very pregnant belly puts on a top that just doesn’t cover the swollen belly. And does it on purpose.
Is a man with a beer gut who wears a shirt way too small cute? How about a non-pregnant woman who does the same thing … cute? I think not.
I get that these women are proud and delighted to be pregnant … but surely there’s a better fashion idea than just letting it all hang out. I’m not saying wear a tent and hide it, but geez Louise, have some dignity.
Happy New Year!
Happy New Year!
I am so with you on the “bump” business too, it irks me beyond belief.
Heh, I had forgotten the dance craze even though I’m a child of the Seventies.
Happy New Year Izzy and I hope that my name hasn’t been too annoying for you. Totally agree with the Dick Clark business… I’d rather remember the before stuff.
Baby bump - you said it! Why are we so interested if someone is pregnant, anyway? It’s like each star child is the arrival of a Saint or something. It is just a baby like all the other babies. Yeesh. I mean, if you showed WonderBaby and said it was Brad and Angelina’s baby, people would swoon - omygod how gorgeous that baby is!
Back fat eradication - here’s my naturopath’s famous all day appetite killing oatmeal - 1/2 cup long-cooking oats, 1/4 cup wheat bran, cooked in 1 3/4 cups water. Take off fire. Add 1 scoop of protein powder, stir like hell. Add sweetener. I also put in cinnamon and allspice. It really keeps you from getting hungry forever. Also high in both kinds of fiber.
Happy New Year.
Well, Izzy, I hope your resolutions work out for you! Happy New Year!!!
I missed Dick Clark’s show last year, but I caught part of it last night. It is very sad to see him like that.
That oatmeal recipe sounds like it would make me poop forever.
I wouldn’t have time to eat, I’d be busy pooping.
Happy New Year, Izzy!
My son loves Billy Mays. Even when he was a baby he would stop whatever he was doing and become riveted to the TV. It’s very disturbing.
Happy New Year Izzy! I stayed home and had Dick Clark on the TV too. I agree you that the show has gotten very lame over the years…But seeing Meatloaf last night really took me back…I think that was the only cool part of the whole show.
May I humbly point you towards Holy Basil? Cortisol and blood sugar and peaceful enlightenment.
I began it and first mentioned it in my Old Gray Mare post where I AHEM mentioned I might no longer be such a spring chicken (if I might mix my barnyard metaphors) and then updated it in my Holy Basil:The update post.
I lost nothing….nothing…nothing…took Holy Basil and no more sugar lows and am down 22 lbs now.
I’m not a doctor and don’t even play one on the Internet, so I’d never tell you it was what you needed. But I will say I am happy with it.
Go research it and check around about it. See what you think and if it is okay for you.
Better living through chemistry….I love it… if you find a solution to the backfat problem, let me know. I’m not loving the rolls I’ve acquired.
Happy New Year to you and yours. And may all those baseball caps fall off everyone’s head who wants to turn them sideways.
Happy New Year! Hope this turns out to be a wonderful year for you and your family.
i love, love, love your 07 motto.
December 20, 2012 will be my 46 birthday. Now I wonder if it is going to be all special and stuff. What’s the significance for you?
Happy New Year to you and yours, Izzy.
You know, not having a particularly stellar nor rocky year is an accomplishment in itself. My 2006 was pretty mundane compared to other years past, and for THAT I am very grateful. Would that more years come like that.
Yeah…the whole baby bump thing bothers me, too. Maybe it’s because it sounds as though famous women are “too good and important” to be just plain old pregnant like the rest of us. A bump could be anything…a zit a tumor, a bad bruise. It doesn’t necessarily signify BABY to me. Who thought that one up?
Yes, I’ve started my new diet and exercise plan for 2007 as of tonight. I celebrated with a hot chocolate from Borders.
Happy New Year Izzy,
I did not have the opportunity to watch Dick Clark as we do not have cable…
Not as sad as Dick Clarke but sad nonetheless… Just crap really… Bad TV holding us hostage until the ball dropped… Made me realize that giving up cable was not such a sacrifice afterall…
Sorry, I am of no help on the losing of weight… I just avoid mirrors… Mature or what? What I won’t see won’t hurt me…
And on a highlightof 2006 even though I did not go to Blogher I lived vicariously through you hot mommas and flickr! Wish I was there…
But was…
and in 2006 I found the great world of blogging with all you fantastic blogging people…
And so, I raise a cup of coffee and wish you the most amazing New Year Izzy filled to the brim with endless blogger moments!!!
Digging your kids sounds like the perfect 2006 Izzy! Thanks for the linky lovin.
And I am SO with you on your “got on your nerves in 2006″ list.
Happy New Year!
I too, found the dressing room mirrors revealed far too much back fat when I was in them during the holidays. Are they trying to SELL me this t-shirt or would they rather keep it? Just because I have the back fat, doesn’t mean I want to know about it. Please keep me in the dark when it comes to my back side. I can’t see it on a daily basis and I want to believe that it is fine. Just fine.
Happy New Year Izzy! Here’s to a blogolicious 2007!
Well, at least you made it through the New Year’s Eve special. Me? Asleep on the couch by 9pm. I am a party animal…. :)
Happy New Year, Izzy!
I know! The baby bump phrase is driving me nuts and is overused and enough already!
Good list. Happy New Year!
Dude, I’ve been experiencing better living through chemistry since Tacy was born. Highly recommended.
And I’m with you on the word “bump”. It’s not a fucking bump.
I doubt that you have to worry about back fat. It’s those damn mirrors. If I could just invent a mirror that makes everyone look better, I could sell them to every store across the land as a marketing tool for them to increase their sales. Women would be happier and I’d be rich! (How funny that we are both blogging along the same lines!)
God, I think this about Dick Clark every year. Soon it’s just going to be his cryongenically preserved head on a desk. Blech. Or is the art of taxidermy and animatronics? sure looked like it.
(oh, and I turned off my feeds after the Bitacle debacle because even with short feeds, they kept coming back and grabbing the rest and I was sick of it.)
Dick Clark? He is just 3 days older than God. How is he able to continue on?